The huge Trolls thread - Page 26 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-19-2011, 09:33 AM
 
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In all honesty, if you think that you (general you) aren't being talked about IRL or online, you might want to take off your blinders.  People talk.  All the time.  You tell your sister how your day was, she tells mom who then tells brother, etc.  Most of the time the chatter is in good nature.  Sometimes, people are going to gripe about you.  

 

Again, there are some here hellbent on trying to prove Trolls are all malicious monsters who make fun of everyone.  You could not be farther from the truth.  Those who have been promoting this agenda the most are the few who have been discussed there recently.  Not all discussions that spin from here are snark, there's a lot of concern threads too.  The SA forum is not and never has been open for discussion.  Anyone even hinting about what is said there would be torn a new one.  PaP is not a private forum.  Yes, there are times things there are discussed.  Mostly what we talk about it more of the "I've done nothing and it isn't working" posts that crop up here.  Or threads where people are being dangerously cavalier about safety.  

 

MDC is not the only fish in the pond.  Trolls did come into being to snark about MDC.  It started as a place for former MDC members to talk and continue friendships.  If ANYONE ever thought what they posted here was private, you were wrong.  Nothing online ever is.  You want total privacy, don't go online.  


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Old 06-19-2011, 07:22 PM
 
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I think whether or not TWWS hosts snark threads doesn't matter.

 

What does is the lesson here: Nothing said on the internet is private.

 

NOTHING.

 

If someone really, really wants to find stuff about you, it's relatively easy to do. Shoot, if it's easy to hack into emails, it's going to be easy to hack into someone's account on MDC.

 

That's why there are tons of articles on how to keep yourself safe online. Here's a good article:

http://www.staysafeonline.org/in-the-home/social-networking

 

There will always be mean people. I was bullied as a child, and it's a lesson I learned early. That's why it's surprising to me to read all these responses that are surprised at other people taking threads from here and snarking/talking about them. Is it really that surprising?

 

Ami


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Old 06-20-2011, 06:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTA Mom View Post

I think whether or not TWWS hosts snark threads doesn't matter.

 

What does is the lesson here: Nothing said on the internet is private.

 

NOTHING.

 

If someone really, really wants to find stuff about you, it's relatively easy to do. Shoot, if it's easy to hack into emails, it's going to be easy to hack into someone's account on MDC.

 

That's why there are tons of articles on how to keep yourself safe online. Here's a good article:

http://www.staysafeonline.org/in-the-home/social-networking

 

There will always be mean people. I was bullied as a child, and it's a lesson I learned early. That's why it's surprising to me to read all these responses that are surprised at other people taking threads from here and snarking/talking about them. Is it really that surprising?

 

Ami



THANK YOU! My Biology teacher told us in high school that people have software that can read emails...most of them they don't care about (they're looking for identity info) but always remember that someone, somewhere can read everything you put on the internet.


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Old 06-20-2011, 06:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Because I like to know if my friends are actually friends. Everyone tells me I'm far too trusting and let people take advantage of me too easily, so it's not impossible I've been horribly mistaken about who is or isn't actually a friend. I've mostly forgotten the nasty childfree board where I was mocked (this thread just brought it to mind) but no one there were people I thought I could trust. And maybe I still can, but I don't know and I'm not in any shape emotionally to deal with the chance of actually seeing I was completely wrong about someone. Again.

BINGO.
This completely sums it up for me. It has NOTHING to do with privacy and everything to do with what I think I know to be true being yanked out from under me. When people in my real life community talk mad $hit about me behind my back and I find out Im not happy about it. I dont think to myself "Well, they have every right to gossip and sh*t talk me" It hurts my feellings and I typically dont share my thoughts and feelings with them anymore.

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Old 06-21-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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Online friends as real friends?  You know, some of us can pull that off.  Others of us (and there are many) wouldn't know real friendship if it bit us on the butt. 

 

I never assume online folks are my real friends unless I've met them IRL somehow.  I have noticed that my IRL friendship status and my online friendship status reflect each other.  It is difficult for me to "make friends" IRL.  Lots of folks are disappointing, IMO.  They violate and don't take responsibility and then...I pull back.  This makes sense and I am fine with it.  It takes a lot of work IRL to find folks I genuinely click with (except when it happens like a blessing dropping out of the sky...which is pretty rare, but it does happen so yay!).  I assume the same to happen online.  I have been let down so often by online women it's pathetic.  lol.gif  Some of them are right here on MDC and I don't have to go to TWWS to find them and feel a twinge of the remembered pain. 

 

Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with online "communities".  I'd never hang with this many people IRL.  Y'all are mostly a distraction.

 

A welcome distraction.  lol.gif  Because of that, I can't say I have friends here.  And, the friends I do have that I've "met" online and only "know" online...I've witnessed them go through board drama and watched how they reacted to it before I could say they were online friends.  Conflict is a great way to get to know the true internet intentions of folks. 

 

I've even stopped being friends IRL with someone partly because of her message board posts elsewhere.  Her unnecessary snarking and constantly "hanging out" with the meanest snarkers was just mean at a certain point.  I didn't want a mean and passive-aggressive friend. It made me look clearly at how our friendship really was and see her in a different light.  shrug.gif  It happens.

 

I didn't mean to post any of that.  I just wanted to say how happy I am now that the thread entitled, "The huge Trolls thread" has actually become HUGE.  38 pages.  Geesh! lol.gif


Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

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Old 07-01-2011, 08:00 PM
 
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bump.gif

 

Just to keep it visible.

 

I actually wouldn't mind this being made a sticky (perhaps with the facebook issue?).  

 

 

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Old 07-01-2011, 08:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by princesstutu View Post

Online friends as real friends?  You know, some of us can pull that off.  Others of us (and there are many) wouldn't know real friendship if it bit us on the butt. 

 

I never assume online folks are my real friends unless I've met them IRL somehow.  I have noticed that my IRL friendship status and my online friendship status reflect each other.  It is difficult for me to "make friends" IRL.  Lots of folks are disappointing, IMO.  They violate and don't take responsibility and then...I pull back.  This makes sense and I am fine with it.  It takes a lot of work IRL to find folks I genuinely click with (except when it happens like a blessing dropping out of the sky...which is pretty rare, but it does happen so yay!).  I assume the same to happen online.  I have been let down so often by online women it's pathetic.  lol.gif  Some of them are right here on MDC and I don't have to go to TWWS to find them and feel a twinge of the remembered pain. 

 

Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother with online "communities".  I'd never hang with this many people IRL.  Y'all are mostly a distraction.

 

A welcome distraction.  lol.gif  Because of that, I can't say I have friends here.  And, the friends I do have that I've "met" online and only "know" online...I've witnessed them go through board drama and watched how they reacted to it before I could say they were online friends.  Conflict is a great way to get to know the true internet intentions of folks. 

 

I've even stopped being friends IRL with someone partly because of her message board posts elsewhere.  Her unnecessary snarking and constantly "hanging out" with the meanest snarkers was just mean at a certain point.  I didn't want a mean and passive-aggressive friend. It made me look clearly at how our friendship really was and see her in a different light.  shrug.gif  It happens.

 

I didn't mean to post any of that.  I just wanted to say how happy I am now that the thread entitled, "The huge Trolls thread" has actually become HUGE.  38 pages.  Geesh! lol.gif


That's an interesting post, Tutu.  I too feel that I can't say that I have friends here (although there are plenty of people here that I admire and enjoy).  Interestingly, I feel that I've have established a lot of adversarial relationships here, but not intentionally!  I can't think of a single person IRL that I've had any kind of adversarial conversation with (except my parents, but they don't count).  I perceive myself to be a pretty laid back and equalitarian person (my own perception but I do strive for it), but I do have to carefully, carefully weigh my words here to not risk ire.  I keep coming back despite the fear of condemnation, so I guess I'm my own worst enemy.  I don't think my posts are out of line with MDC values, but my posts do get picked apart a lot.  I guess I'm a horrible on-line communicator.  sulkoff.gif

 


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Old 07-03-2011, 07:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post



BINGO.
This completely sums it up for me. It has NOTHING to do with privacy and everything to do with what I think I know to be true being yanked out from under me. When people in my real life community talk mad $hit about me behind my back and I find out Im not happy about it. I dont think to myself "Well, they have every right to gossip and sh*t talk me" It hurts my feellings and I typically dont share my thoughts and feelings with them anymore.

 

I'm kind of late coming to this thread, but I'd say yeah, this, too.

 

And I think about things I've posted about my kids, discipline situations I've asked advice about and details I've posted about my son in the SN forum. I figure not everyone here likes what I post and while I don't like that they might pick it apart elsewhere, I accept that such things are part of life. I just hope my kids are left out of it. I don't really want to spend the time finding the sites, setting up an account and searching, though. 
 

 


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Old 07-03-2011, 08:38 PM
 
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I need the cliff notes version.  Feeling clueless...

I guess I've missed a lot in general, just posting to my 'local' forum, pretty much.  Wow.

 


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Old 07-03-2011, 09:01 PM
 
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pm'ed you a cliff note version 

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Old 07-06-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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I read up to page 10 and then this page.  I... well... I'll be honest and say I went over there for a few days because some of the chicks I like went there.  I won't be back.  I don't care that other people want to hang out there, but I don't need that kind of naked hostility in my life.  Oy.  I mean, I can be snarky as hell but I hope (please dear God) that no one on MDC has ever felt like I bullied them.  It's just a line to me.  As a result of me going over there my husband is threatening to withhold my arguing on the internet time because I got so upset and he thinks it isn't good for me.  (It's not an abusive relationship... he isn't actually in control of what I do, but he can do a serious Don't Do That face.)  He hasn't decided if MDC is still ok and I am currently pushing my luck. blahblah.gif


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Old 07-06-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Quote:
As a result of me going over there my husband is threatening to withhold my arguing on the internet time because I got so upset and he thinks it isn't good for me.  (It's not an abusive relationship... he isn't actually in control of what I do, but he can do a serious Don't Do That face.)  He hasn't decided if MDC is still ok and I am currently pushing my luck. blahblah.gif

Heh. My husband has occasionally made the same threat to me. I've been known to get, ah, passionate about certain debates on MDC, and his oh-so-logical response is "Well, stop going on there, you're getting yourself worked up for no good reason". He probably has a point, actually...


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Old 07-06-2011, 08:08 PM
 
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What rightkindofme said resonates with me.  I didn't have the time to look thru this whole thread either and I now realize I'd heard just a little about this all through older mentions of he 'survivors' blog.

 

I guess I feel like I've done a fair job of filtering out what things resonate with me and letting go of the rest.  I don't trust everything I hear anywhere but it is good to be reminded of some of the more subtle things that can happen.  I still feel that I've had too many great experiences here that a few of my disappointments do not tarnish my overall opinion much.  The biggest loss to me, was the magazine ending and I'm still unsure of the new direction, especially with all the changes to the interface here- it has made it easy to slowly slip away as my online time has decreased.
I do have some concerns about the way things are- but they are bigger than this board- for the most part.  I think that the issues that we see here sorta tend to happen universally (at least at times).    I am disappointed about some of the management decisions (like the magazine ending and the way some things were handled), but no more so than I have been with any organization I've dealt with.  I think I would have done things differently at times, but I also respect that I'm not privy to the whole picture and organizations have restrictions that more personal relationships do not.  MDC is still a business as much as I'd like it to feel more personal- and I do think they have done many things right.

 

I could see getting some use out of being able to post in certain areas that are limited here- but I don't begrudge the MDC setting some limits either.  I think it is hugely annoying that MDC cannot have a sexuality forum (or however it would manifest).  I never personally participated in the politics forum, but thought it was something that was sad when it had to be closed.  I do understand the trickiness of moderation and that the moderators are unpaid volunteers that go above and beyond already- and adding more controversy just taxes the system.  I'm glad thngs are working for other forums... I do like the idea of everybody wearing their adult panties- but I also know that just doesn't work universally.  I also know there have been times I've learned unexpected things, stuck my foot in my mouth, or stirred up things unintentionally -- but doing those things here has been a bit 'safer' for me than had I done them in a different forum environment.

 

I do agree with a lot of the 'gripes' I encountered in a quick lurking, but there are quite a few times, too, where I simply don't read so much intent into the same things others are. Or they seem so nit picky pulled out of context.  We all have our points that set us off.  I get it- but I'm just not sure I want to be exposed to more negativity and some of this was striking me that way.  Perhaps I just got an extra dose of it because there is a bit to dwell on right now-- and I'm actually glad that I know about some of what I missed. I've certainly been out of the loop - missing lots of things in my absense here and in posting to a limited number of boards (for example, I had no idea that moderation was less restrictive atm- that's a very neutral one, but I had missed some big stuff going on and did some jaw dropping at some things I missed).

  

Awhile back I used to post a lot .... and I'd get lured into things here...  I know I asked stupid questions, at time, said stupid things, and at times, missed things.  However,  I actually WANT to be corrected/informed/called out that I missed  another aspect etc. and I do hope that I've been receptive and open-minded to multiple pov's.  I don't want to be parroted back, but to learn.  And  I've learned a lot here, toned some things down, become steadfast in others.  It has worked for me....however, I also tend to go overboard in the always looking at both sides.   It can be nice to slack off by having some go to friends/sources so I don't have to do  everything myself all over again.  I guess I'm taking away from this is to always be vigilant and stay aware and willing to question. 

 

So if I got punk'd- that's probably all good- I probably deserved it... I'd like to think that I would take it good naturedly (-;

 

Ok, time ran out, rain coming and I must go up in case littlles wake-- I'm sure I could say a ton more... (you've been spared (-;  )

 

Jessica


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Old 07-08-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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Old 07-21-2011, 01:07 AM
 
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This conversation reminds me of this cartoon: http://xkcd.com/386/  My husband always jokes about this now if he hears me typing away.  "What's wrong, is someone on the Internet wrong again?"  LOL

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Old 05-18-2012, 12:17 PM
 
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hi
 

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Old 05-18-2012, 12:19 PM
 
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Hello  wave.gif

 

Not sure why you revived this thread…...

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