Listen and trust your child! To me, it sounds like you are making excuses and putting your relationship first. I know you need support right now, but after watching what a dear friend when through with her child, trusting the child has to come first over anything else.
Dh, Me , DD 10 , DD 7 , DD 4
We , , , , not in that order
It makes zero difference if this is the best relationship you've ever had. If this is true, and he is innocent, then he will understand that a good mother believes her child and takes immediate steps to protect her child.
Clearly, something happened at some point with some person and your child. Whether it was him or someone else, she needs her mom on her side. She needs you to believe her and it is your job to protect her to the fullest extent possible. Not every moment is a moment you can protect your child from. But you cannot continue ignoring serious and clear signs that your child needs you to get to the bottom of this and stand up and protect her.
You and your children are better off in a shelter than under the same roof as a man being accused of molestation. There are many wrong ways to handle this. Just do the right thing by your kid. Adults can take care of themselves.
I think the whole shoot first, ask questions later can be applied here (I mean, don't shoot anyone, though if one of my babies were being hurt, I might).
I read your post earlier but didn't know what to say, as I don't have any experience with this... but thinking about it, there are just too many red flags and the risk is too high to take the chance. I would leave, at least temporarily, to be sure my children were safe. I mean, something has to be going on if your DD did what she did at school, presumably in front of other children and staff - and then they took it seriously to bring CPS into the equation.
I wish you the best - I hope you have somewhere to go to sort it all out. Glad counselors are involved; hopefully they get to the bottom and your DD is okay.
eta: please let me know if you want this deleted - or PM a mod and ask for the thread to be taken down if it's a safety issue for your family.