roughhousing in the kiddie pool - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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this is mostly a rant, but I also want to know if my expectations of a kiddie pool are unreasonable.

we took DS to the kiddie pool today- depth 1.5 feet. there were three other kids around his age (2-3) and their parents in the water, plus an 11 month old. then a 4ish year old and her grandma showed up (it was starting to get a little crowded.. this pool is probably 10ft x 8 ft). the littest kid got out, and the other two toddlers were obviously not very comfortable in the water. (one was crying, the other was clinging to his mom)

The 4ish year old had a sister who was around 6 and two cousins who were 12-13. when the cousins and aunt came to the kiddie pool, grandma got out and the aunt got in. the older kids got in too and were splashing and being loud, which I didn't really care about. Its a pool, you're gonna get wet and kids like to scream.

Then they started getting really rowdy, swimming under water, pushing each other, taking the little kids toys and playing keep-away, another mom and I both got kicked by the older cousins swimming underwater.

At this point the other toddler who had been crying was taken out of the pool. They were making waves so big that water was sloshing out of either side. then one of the big kids knocked my DS over and didn't even help him up. I had to jump over a bunch of kids to get to him. He is comfortable in water, especially 1.5 ft deep, but he sure doesn't like going under when he wasn't expecting it! I picked him up and took him out of the pool, and the last remaining toddler also left at that point. DS wanted to go back in but I made a comment about the pool being too wild for little kids now, and maybe when the big kids go over to the big pool we could go back in. Then the big kids grabbed DS's pool toy off the edge of the pool where we were sitting and started whacking each other with it. DS said, a bunch of times "Please give me my noodle!" and the just kept ignoring him until I said "Can he have his toy back please?" and the mom, who was right there through all of this, kind of rolled her eyes and made them give it back. then a few minutes later one of the kids said "Oh, we have the pool to ourselves!" and the mom said something like, "oh its just like our own private pool".

There are no lifeguards, and the kiddie pool rules don't really say anything about horsing around or age limits on the pool.. am I just uptight about expecting that the kiddie pool should really be for kids who can't swim in the big pool? Would you have been pissed? said something? joined in the fun?

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#2 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 02:39 PM
 
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So it was the 12 and 13yo who were taking over the kiddy pool?  If I was their mom, they'd be marched right out of there.  Also, if I were 12 or 13, I wouldn't be caught dead in a pool that was only a foot and a half deep.  What fun is that? 

 

No, I think you were right to feel ticked off.  I think the intent of the kiddy pool is for little ones, whether they are age or sized "little".  I don't think its fair to age discriminate, but its alright to behaviour discriminate.  If a 12yo were calmly playing with a younger child in the pool, then it would be ok.  Splashing to the point of driving others away is not ok.

 

Unfortunately you'll encounter this type of behaviour all over, whether its in a pool or at a playground.  Older children often don't realize at the moment how their actions are impacting other people.  At that point you could have either walked away and wait for everything to calm down, as you did, or you could speak up and tell the older kids to please tone it down so the little kids can have fun too.

 

The mom though sounds totally zoned out.  :irked:


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#3 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 02:40 PM
 
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Oops! Double post...


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#4 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 02:46 PM
 
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I would have been vocal early on- when they started getting out of control.  "Hey, this pool is geared to little kids, we need to keep it safe for them, so tone it down." 

 

If the mom is right there and not getting it- sadly, there's not much that will help- though I would also be pretty direct with her.  

 

I don't have much patience for behavior  like that though... 

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#5 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think if the kids had been alone I wouldn't have hesitated to speak up, but the mom being RIGHT THERE and doing NOTHING was throwing me off.. I try not to discipline other people's children with the mom present..

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#6 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 03:13 PM
 
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The mom and her teens were being obnoxious. I would have been very annoyed! I have a 7 and 9 year old, and whenever we go somewhere there are other kids, I remind them to look out for the little ones.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#7 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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I would have been very annoyed and if I knew that their Mom was there I would have told her to ask them to knock it off.  Politely of course winky.gif  Now if they were ignoring my DS when he was asking for his toy back I would have spoken to the kids directly no problem.


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#8 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 05:08 PM
 
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The "ideal" me would have confronted the other mother and suggested that they should move to the other pool so that the littles could enjoy the space that was designed fir them. The real, passive-aggressive me would have taken my kid out and made snarky remarks for the others to hear, with no shortage of evil eye and the like. All aimed at the mom because young teens are just not clues in sometimes, but the mother should be. If she seemed to gloat about driving others out of the pool, as it seems happened, then I probably get over my aversion to direct confrontation and would have said something that I would regret having young kids hear.

So, yes, you had the right to be pissed.

Apparently doing it rong and ruining it for everyone, but I don't give a crap anymorebanana.gif

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#9 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 06:38 PM
 
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Definitely inappropriate. Too bad it's not watched by lifeguards, we would have booted the older kids out as soon as they got even the tiniest bit rambunctious. The mother not reacting does make it trickier, I'm not very assertive & I'm not sure how I would have reacted myself.


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#10 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 08:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amma_mama View Post

The real, passive-aggressive me would have taken my kid out and made snarky remarks for the others to hear, with no shortage of evil eye and the like.

I did make a load of loud, passive aggressive comments to DS, like "Too bad those big kids are too wild in the little pool and we had to get out". I'm sure the mom was just eyesroll.gif and waiting for me to get some balls and confront her..
We are new to the kiddie pool dynamic and I wanted to make sure I wasn't way off base for feeling annoyed. Now I know and will (try to) be more assertive in the future! Thanks mamas!

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#11 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellp View Post

If a 12yo were calmly playing with a younger child in the pool, then it would be ok.  Splashing to the point of driving others away is not ok.


Totally, That was how I was feeling about it when they first got in. It was really getting crowded with all those bodies in a not very big pool, but they weren't rambunctious yet

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#12 of 16 Old 06-26-2011, 10:31 PM
 
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yk, people like that mom are never going to be your friend, so you may as well be direct and confront her with the reality of the situation. "do you mind taking them somewhere else? all the babies have gotten driven out of the baby pool." if she wants to start a fight over this, God help us all, but i think i would have that conversation anyway.

ps: normal moms aren't like that AT ALL.


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#13 of 16 Old 06-27-2011, 04:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by insidevoice View Post

I would have been vocal early on- when they started getting out of control.  "Hey, this pool is geared to little kids, we need to keep it safe for them, so tone it down." 

 

If the mom is right there and not getting it- sadly, there's not much that will help- though I would also be pretty direct with her.  

 

I don't have much patience for behavior  like that though... 



This, I know it is hard, I have been in your shoes. If they don't calm down to the point of letting my kids back in I go to the desk you pay at/concession stand and let them know. They happily take care of it. I too would be upset!


~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.

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#14 of 16 Old 06-27-2011, 07:57 PM
 
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I just ask/tell them to calm down, cause "there are little babies here."  Usually once is all it takes, and they are embarassed enough that they get out.  The kids at my pool don't tend to be rough, though, just rowdy big kids that forget that little kids are, well, little.

 

I appreciate the same direct approach to my own kids.  I have a 5 year old that plays pretty rough with his 3 year old brother (and they laugh and giggle as they splash each other).  They forget that, sometimes, a 2 year old with no siblings isn't going to appreciate the splashing nearly as much.  So, if a mom reminds them before I get to them, it's good all around. 

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#15 of 16 Old 07-07-2011, 05:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BetsyS View Post

I just ask/tell them to calm down, cause "there are little babies here."  Usually once is all it takes, and they are embarassed enough that they get out.  The kids at my pool don't tend to be rough, though, just rowdy big kids that forget that little kids are, well, little.

 

I appreciate the same direct approach to my own kids.  I have a 5 year old that plays pretty rough with his 3 year old brother (and they laugh and giggle as they splash each other).  They forget that, sometimes, a 2 year old with no siblings isn't going to appreciate the splashing nearly as much.  So, if a mom reminds them before I get to them, it's good all around. 


I agree. Though my pool is an HOA pool with lifeguards to enforce the rules, so I have an option if they don't stop.

 

For the OP, I'd contact whomever has authority over the pool and find out if they can/will post rules regarding horseplay/age limits and if there is someone to contact (such as the person who checks ids/accepts payment) if the rule breaking renders the pool unusable to the intended users (small children).

 


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#16 of 16 Old 07-07-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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Wow what a whacko mom... some people have no respect and it's disgusting! I might have taken my child into the part of the pool where the older kids were 'playing' and got all in their way on purpose, might have been enough to make them fed up and go somewhere more appropriate. And yeah kept giving them bad looks and making comments to give them the hint...geez their mom sounds like a right censored.gif


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