Those who are in the business world (or have partners in the business world).... is this normal? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 34 Old 08-17-2011, 08:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This has been driving me nuts all night, so I figured I'd post and get some opinions.

 

DH works in the business world. His schedule is all crazy, but for the most part he goes in to work around 8 (if he takes ds to school) or 9 and gets out around 5 (with some flexibility if needed). In addition, he has business calls 2-3 nights a week for 2ish hours each night (usually starting around 9pm). He has random dinners out with co-workers (almost always when the company is hosting someone from another country so they have to share duties on who takes them out for dinner). He travels to different countries maybe 1-3 times a year for 3-4 weeks each time. He does a little traveling in the country, maybe once or twice a year for a week at a time. When he's actually home he often has to do work (between 1-3 hours a night and a few hours here and there on weekends).

 

His job drives me insane. The unpredictability drives me crazy (sometimes they won't tell him he's leaving the country until like a couple days before!). It's not good for me. It's definitely not good for ds (who has autism and thrives on routines). But it pays our bills (and allows me to not have to work if I don't want to) so I try to keep my mouth closed and smile and nod as much as possible.

 

Yesterday dh mentioned that there were some people from out of the country here and he might have to take them out to dinner tonight. Okay, fine. I asked him when he would know (so that I knew whether to make dinner or not). He said that after his call last night he should know. So his call ended....and he didn't know. He said that when he got to the office this morning he would know for sure. So I waited until like 10:30 this morning to ask him.... and he still didn't know. Frustrating, but whatever. I warned him that I wasn't feeling good (was having quite a few contractions at only 32 weeks that are pretty painful) so I was just going to rest while ds was at school and I wasn't going to cook dinner. After ds gets out of school I take him to his therapy. We get out of that at 5, then I rush to grab him some dinner (thankfully he had done something at school that was super duper good- even the teacher was so excited she let him call me to tell me. LOL! so I rewarded him with one of his favorite dinners.... which I can buy on the way home). We get home a little before 6, he eats his dinner and then dh is supposed to take him to karate at 6:20. But, during the therapy I get a text at 4:30 saying that dh is going out for dinner with the people. Not only that, but I need to take ds to karate because the restaurant is all the way on the other side of town so dh has to drive like 40 minutes just to get there.

 

irked.gif

 

So the question is- is it normal to have these business dinners decided just hours before they happen? This frustrates the crap out of me because I can never plan anything. Usually I'll have already made dinner, and then it's just a waste (since ds doesn't usually eat our dinners). Not only this- but dh ends up just pushing aside previous commitments- like ds's karate. When dh wanted to sign ds up for karate I made it very clear that this was HIS thing. I wanted nothing to do with it. I'll go watch sometimes and I'll take ds if dh is out of the country. But otherwise, this is something that dh agreed he would do..... until something else comes along and then it's just assumed that I'll pick up the slack. I feel like when he does this it's just teaching ds that commitments from dh are only good as long as something else doesn't come along, but that if something else comes along then dh will do that over his commitment with ds. I think my other issue is that dh really wants to sign ds up for cub scouts, which is another weekly thing. I know what's going to happen- I'm going to be the one taking ds when dh decides something else is more important. Our agreement has always been that I take ds to medical appointments and his therapy (he has autism). If dh wants him in any extra stuff, it's his responsibility. And yet, at least 60% of the time it's still falling on me.

 

Of course, I could just be pissy because I'm pregnant and in a lot of pain. That probably isn't helping the situation any when dh got to go out for 4 hours of adult time and have a nice meal while I stayed with ds, in an enormous amount of pain, taking care of ds, cleaning, etc (all things that dh says he'll help out with.... apparently unless something else comes along and then he'll blow those off too).


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#2 of 34 Old 08-17-2011, 08:37 PM
 
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About every other week I get a call or e-mail from dh saying he had a big lunch, and he won't want dinner, ie, he was taken out by a client. They are often last minute, but that's fine. Anything else he, and therefore I, get a lot of notice, days at least. He may have to travel the end of this month, but we got the headsup weeks ago. Admittedly, it's not confirmed yet, but we know. He stays late at work when needed, but once he's home, he's home, no calls, and he can ignore his blackberry. So no, I don't think your dh's schedule is normal.
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#3 of 34 Old 08-17-2011, 09:03 PM
 
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I can totally see where you are coming from, because I hate unpredictability, too. And when I was 32 weeks pregnant, I didn't want to do anything (I hate being pregnant).

 

But, I'll tell you what I tell myself. That I am so, so lucky to have a DH who works hard. That we are lucky that he has a job that pays the bills, especially in this economy. We have benefits, he enjoys his job, and he works hard there and helps out at home. He's an excellent father. I try to count my blessings, basically.

 

If his job is really a problem, have a good long talk about whether or not he's staying there long-term. Maybe he should look for something else. And, unless your DS just loves karate, pull him out. Refuse cub scouts. I know you are a family and your DH is your son's father figure, but ultimately he's YOUR son and you can decide what you can handle doing right now.

 

I would try really, really hard not to see this as your DH blowing off a commitment. I don't think it's that simple. My DH has times (like tonight, when he's just heading home from work at 9 pm) that he HAS to do things for work. To not do them would be risking his job. Maybe not immediately, but you can bet they take note. *I* want the security of his job and all that it provides for our family, so I try to direct my frustration at the people who don't make timely decisions, not my DH, who would obviously rather be home with us!

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#4 of 34 Old 08-17-2011, 11:11 PM
 
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sounds like it's normal for his job. 

here's what you have to do for yourself if you want it to stop driving you crazy -- stop expecting it to be any different than it is.

PLAN ON IT.

for the nights that he "might" have to take someone out, DO NOT COOK. make these your "take out" nights, and order what YOU want.

if you don't want to do karate, don't sign up for it. 

sounds like your DH has all good intentions, but he's beholden to his boss, who decides things at the last minute.

unlikely to change.


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#5 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 02:14 AM
 
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Yes totally normal, Sounds like your DH has a job that has some amount of travel required and there are times that travel isn't really known until certain 'numbers' come in, reports are seen etc.  Dinner plans are the same.  Sometimes things can be completed in the office, over lunch etc or sometimes more schmoozing needs to be done with dinner, drinks etc.

As for the work at home, yep again, totally normal.  Esp. if the company is downsizing and those who are left are taking on more responsibilities or if your DH is trying to work his way up toward a promotion or the like.

 

In this economy, those who have jobs can not afford to make waves and pretty much take what they can get.  So if they are told to 'take calls until 10pm' thats what they do.  If they have extra work to finish up at home they do it.   

 

I wouldn't look at it as not keeping a committment to DS, I would look at things as a positive work ethic.

 

Also the nights you have extra dinner, just pop it in the freezer for later or fridge it for tomorrow.  While its frustrating to plan a sit down family dinner, left overs are just as yummy tomorrow or next week!


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#6 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 03:14 AM
 
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Normal for us as well. Drives me insane at times, it's been this way for me for 10+ years. I can't ever plan anything around him because I never know when he is going to be working, which seems to be always. 


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#7 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 06:21 AM
 
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With Dave, he doesn't know if he has a lunch until an hour or so before (they host lunches and not dinners).  He'll pack his lunch, bring it to work, and then right before he eats it, finds out that he needs to do a business lunch out of the office with someone.  He also has weekend releases that are huge deals (involve the government & military along with his company)...they would keep him at work for basically 72 straight hours.  And we find out 2 days before.  For example, they planned the release for the first week of July (yes, 4th of July).  Two days before we find out it's not going to happen, and the release date was TBD.  Then in early August, they say it's the 2nd week of August--right when we have other plans.  Two days before, they cancel the release.  Release date is TBD.  Now it's mid August, and we just found out that release is next week because it's the last week for funding of it.  Oy.  We cancelled more plans...plans that were made weeks in advance when we thought we were going to have the release done the 4th of July (meaning, because we had to cancel plans for that, we ended up not doing anything we wanted then either.)  He also had a release on Thanksgiving weekend.  And one during Christmas vacation.  He's also travelled on days where he previously had a committment to Brandon (the "dad's day breakfast" at his former school).

 

But, we try to look at the positive side.  He has a job.  I get to stay home with the kids and homeschool.  And his job pays enough that we can afford a house that most people in our area would need 2 incomes for.  And in October, we get to go to DC because DH has training there for work, and the per diems are enough that we can come with him at no extra expense.  So, it might be a PITA and make us want to rip our hair out, but the benefits do outweight it.


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#8 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 06:49 AM
 
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once DH rang me home asking me to pack a suitcase he would  pick 3 hours later (he had no clean shirts, in fact had to run a load on a very short program and it was so hot outside that it dried in about an hour .....) to go back to Europe for about 10 days....

we had just been in that house for ... less than a month, it was all of a new country for me, I don't drive & some relatives had just arrived to enjoy a "free accomodation holiday " AND they expected me to know all about my surroundings & food shopping was quite an experience since I did'nt know yet any brands and was freaking out as much as themselves at all the "newness" of it all ...

 

previous posters advice is good ...

 

some jobs are easier to live with, but in the end , he has a job ... expectations will have to adjust to reality ....

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#9 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 08:03 AM
 
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Regarding the last-minute dinners, it sounds within normal. At DH's business, there are often visiting head office types or vendors/suppliers etc. Things often depend on their schedules. If they are from out-of-town, they are trying to squeeze in other arrangements and may not know whether they are free or not until fairly late in the day. 

 

Lately, I find more unpredictability with business travel. It seems like they don't want to commit until the last minute.  Sometimes they will decide after committing that the trip isn't necessary or they need to delay it. I suspect that it's economy-related, based on whether the cost of travel is really justified for whatever meetings they were planning. 

 

I once worked 12 to 16-hour days fairly routinely (3, 4, 5 and even 6 nights per week). It was more likely that I would NOT be home for dinner and lucky if I got to tuck the kids into bed. Believe me, I don't complain if DH tells me he has a business dinner once a week or so. 

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#10 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 08:30 AM
 
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This is very very normal.

 

It is also very very normal to resent it sometimes.

 

 

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#11 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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It's normal for us too.

 

but less extreme at this point because

 

1. DH keeps moving up in his company, so things are a little less crazed

2. We've figured out better how to cope as a couple

 

For example, if we didn't know for sure if a family dinner was going to happen, we might do something like DH bring home Chinese if he does end up coming home, or me just cooking pasta for the kids and I if he doesn't. That way, I don't get all freaked out about it.

 

For the most part, though, I've learned to just do my thing without getting too hung up on what is going on with him. When he is here and does stuff, it's gravy. When he's not, that's fine to.

 

It's helps me to notice that we have more money that most people we know and to take time for myself *when I can.*

 

But if your DH is constantly dropping the ball on Karate and you are already pooped out from driving for all your son's therapies, its OK to not re-enroll in Karate, or switch to a Saturday or something else. You can tell your DH that this activity isn't working for you on top of all the other driving and being pregnant. I really don't think that people who haven't done the various therapies for a autism spectrum kid have ANY idea what it's like and how draining it can be. Your son will not always have the number of appointments he does right now, and he can do karate then.  (My DD eventually became a competitive swimmer, and I did all the driving, but it when she was no longer in speech and all that)

 

Your life will not always be the way it is right now, even though your DH has a crazy job and your child is on the spectrum. It really does get easier.

 

(my biggest pet peeve -- the year my DH spent a holiday weekend in Europe -- it wasn't a holiday there and he needed the extra days for travel time. I wanted to shoot his boss)


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#12 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:10 AM
 
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Outnumbered again!
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#13 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:12 AM
 
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Unexpected dinners out are normal in my dh line of work as is unexpected travel ( both domestic and international) and phone calls during vacations, after hours and weekends. Although it's not all the time. In fact ever since the Sept 11th the travel has really slacked off. Sometimes I do find it annoying, but over the years I've gotten used to it. 

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#14 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
............ and phone calls during vacations, after hours and weekends. 


Honestly, this bothers me more. With time differences from the coast, he often gets calls during dinner because it's still middle of the afternoon on the coast. He often gets middle-of-the-night phone calls if there is a problem at one of the facilities for which he's responsible. Email and text messages are pretty much around-the-clock. It's often less disruptive if he's actually away for business.

 

OP, I know how frustrating and disruptive it can be. hug2.gif

 

 

 

 

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#15 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

He often gets middle-of-the-night phone calls if there is a problem at one of the facilities for which he's responsible.

 


yep. After years of working on international projects, my DH's ability to answer his phone by the 2nd or 3rd ring and say, in a completely normal tone of voice "this is John Doe"  at an hour of the night is amazing to me.

 

We planned a vacation this year where there is no cell phone reception or email.

 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#16 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Phew, I can't believe I wrote that last night redface.gif I must have been in a really crappy mood Sheepish.gif

 

Now that I've had a chance to sleep it off, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts. I do realize how lucky we are that he even has a job, let alone a job that allows me to not have to work. In this economy, we are very fortunate to have a steady job, a house, 2 cars, vacations, etc. We are blessed.

 

I think the frustration came because dh has been working at the same company for 5 or 6 years now, but just recently got hired for a new job (in the same company). Before he accepted the job he discussed time commitments and what was going to be expected of him with the manager. He needed to know that he would have flexibility in his work hours and be able to work from home if needed. In his last position in this company they were great about it- they didn't care if he showed up at the office for 8 or 9 hours everyday, as long as he got the work done and was available by phone at all times then they just didn't care. In fact, his manager encouraged people to work from home some days. That manager was totally fine with dh leaving work around 2, picking ds up from school, going home and working a few more hours (on days that I was working and couldn't pick up ds). If dh had calls from 10-midnight one night then his manager didn't care if he didn't come into work until 10 the next morning (instead of 8). It was very flexible, and as long as dh got the work done (and was available by phone at all times) then nobody cared. DH was assured by his new manager that it would be much of the same except there would be regular phone calls at night (2-3 nights a week now, versus once a week or once every 2 weeks at the last job). The manager said he didn't mind dh working from home, as long as the work was getting done and he was available if needed. This was in June when dh was hired. Now, last week, his manager basically said that all of that is off the table and dh needs to be on site working for 8-9 hours a day plus he needs to put in 2ish hours every evening when he gets home PLUS he needs to do the calls 2-3 nights a week (2 hours each call). Plus be available for company dinners whenever they decide to (even on weekends). He also mentioned that there's a chance they might want dh to travel out of the country for 2-4 weeks at the end of September or beginning of October. DH is absolutely refusing to do that though, since I'm due October 12th. We'll live in a cardboard box before we agree to dh traveling out of the country during that time frame. His boss "agreed" to try and push it back to November, but makes no promises. Which still pisses me off because when dh took the job he was assured there would be no traveling until after the new year. He was also told he would get a good chunk of time off when the baby is born (at least a week). Now they are starting to go back on that one too and saying maybe a day or two and that's it. So the frustration is coming from a place where this is not what we agreed to. He took this job under very different circumstances, and is now being pushed into a corner (he either does what the manager says or gets fired). DH is frustrated because he feels he was lied to and he feels like he should be making more money if he's going to be putting in all this extra work. If the manager had been upfront on the expectations when dh was first hired, we would have been able to make the decision on whether this job was right for our family or not. Instead, we're both left feeling like we signed up for one thing and got another very different thing instead.

 

Thankfully, dh does not want to be in the business world forever. Our plan is, after I have the baby, then I'll go back to school to get my teaching degree (2 more years left on that). Then once I have a steady job, dh wants to start teaching as well. While teaching has it's own set of frustrations, we both feel that it would be a lot better for our family life than the business world it. Unfortunately, we had been planning my school options around dh's supposedly flexible work schedule. Since that flexibility is gone now, I have no idea what we're going to do or how we're going to make this work.


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#17 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:33 AM
 
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#18 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post




yep. After years of working on international projects, my DH's ability to answer his phone by the 2nd or 3rd ring and say, in a completely normal tone of voice "this is John Doe"  at an hour of the night is amazing to me.

 

We planned a vacation this year where there is no cell phone reception or email.

 


We usually vacation out of the country. If we vacationed in the US, someone from my work would, no doubt, call me. Yet they are able to survive without calling me when I am abroad...

 

That's the IT world. Hate the hours, love the paycheck.

 

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#19 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:43 AM
 
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That sounds really frustrating, and like the company is changing their expectations after the fact. That sucks, and I'd be upset too. I don't think there's much your DH can do about it, but I think you're justified in your frustration and venting. 

 

I totally hear you on the sports thing. My DH signed DS up for soccer and we had a talk where I told him this was HIS thing, and then last night on the very first practice, DH called and said he'd have to meet us at the field instead of coming along with us. I said, "But there's only a 5 minute difference between you driving straight to the field and you swinging by here so we can go together. You can't leave 5 minutes earlier?" But he insisted he had to meet us there. So, by myself, I had to schlep a big water jug for DS, an umbrella, 3 chairs, a big bag with a beach towel/snacks/toys for DD to play with during the practice, etc., and then 5 minutes later he got to just waltz onto the field and sit down to watch the practice -- I was annoyed! 


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#20 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post




yep. After years of working on international projects, my DH's ability to answer his phone by the 2nd or 3rd ring and say, in a completely normal tone of voice "this is John Doe"  at an hour of the night is amazing to me.

 

We planned a vacation this year where there is no cell phone reception or email.

 


I have to laugh at the first part. That's totally true.

 

When we got married January 1st of this year (we ran away to the Virgin Islands for a private wedding and honeymoon) it was part of the deal- NO WORK. At all. For any reason. Since our honeymoon actually came before our wedding (we had like 4 or 5 days on the island before our wedding day and then just 2 days on the island after our wedding day) I told him straight up that if he did anything work related during the first part of our honeymoon (before the actual wedding) then we wouldn't be getting married. Mean of me? Probably. But it worked. He didn't even bring his work with him. I don't think he checked his work email at all during that entire vacation. And you know what? It was fine. He didn't get fired. His boss understood. And he got a happy wife orngtongue.gif Every other vacation we've taken (both before and after our wedding) has been planned around making sure dh has access to the internet with his work laptop eyesroll.gif


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#21 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 10:10 AM
 
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It is very normal for some companies. At one of my jobs my schedule was never my own. My boss might hand me 5 days worth of work on Friday at 4pm and tell me it had to be ready Monday morning, I might have to take a call at 3am, and more than once I had to leave the country on just a couple hours notice. It was very good experience and good for my career, but eventually I left for a more family friendly position.

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#22 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 04:08 PM
 
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It's normal for some jobs, though the bait and switch with job expectations sucks. Any chance he could go back to his old job?

 

I agree with dropping the karate--and with the pregnancy I would do it immediately and suck-up the loss on fees; and I'd say no to the Cub Scouts. I'd tell your dh that you appreciate that he wants to do these things with your ds, but his job just won't allow him to do it and you CAN NOT do it right now. And I have no idea how it happens, but I also find ds' therapy appointment days draining and all I do is sit in the waiting room and talk 5 minutes with the therapist headscratch.gif.

 

As for the dinner issue, I'd keep easy to make meals (what I called "good enough for me" food when dh was a traveler) in the house for when your dh ends up not coming home. I also wouldn't plan to cook anything that doesn't keep well as leftovers. Planning for this unpredictability will relieve some of the stress.


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#23 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 06:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post





Honestly, this bothers me more. With time differences from the coast, he often gets calls during dinner because it's still middle of the afternoon on the coast. He often gets middle-of-the-night phone calls if there is a problem at one of the facilities for which he's responsible. Email and text messages are pretty much around-the-clock. It's often less disruptive if he's actually away for business.

 

OP, I know how frustrating and disruptive it can be. hug2.gif

 

 

 

 



I remember once vacation we were at Disneyland and he was getting business calls on his cell. Sure it's his work cell, but they knew he was on vacation. I was pretty annoyed that time. We don't get it round the clock though, because the international clients all have stateside representatives. 

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#24 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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This is such excellent advice. Tell your DH you're cancelling it all until he has more room in his schedule. Who needs all that right now? Your DS has the rest of his childhood to be involved with karate and cub scouts. No need to build up resentment.

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Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post

It's normal for some jobs, though the bait and switch with job expectations sucks. Any chance he could go back to his old job?

 

I agree with dropping the karate--and with the pregnancy I would do it immediately and suck-up the loss on fees; and I'd say no to the Cub Scouts. I'd tell your dh that you appreciate that he wants to do these things with your ds, but his job just won't allow him to do it and you CAN NOT do it right now. And I have no idea how it happens, but I also find ds' therapy appointment days draining and all I do is sit in the waiting room and talk 5 minutes with the therapist headscratch.gif.

 

As for the dinner issue, I'd keep easy to make meals (what I called "good enough for me" food when dh was a traveler) in the house for when your dh ends up not coming home. I also wouldn't plan to cook anything that doesn't keep well as leftovers. Planning for this unpredictability will relieve some of the stress.



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#25 of 34 Old 08-18-2011, 09:41 PM
 
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My thoughts on the change on job requirements are two fold:

 

1. something has happened at the company that has caused the change -- actual earnings weren't as expected, a problem somewhere else in the division, and issue with a client. Something that is beyond the control of the manager and may not be seen as your husband's business, but that none the less changes his job requirements. It's not personal, it's business.

 

OR

 

2. when they talked in the interview, they thought they communicated, but they didn't. When the new boss said flexibility, he meant a couple of times a year, not a routine thing for school pick ups. The boss doesn't feel that your DH is showing commitment.

 

It could be something totally different, but those were the two things that came to mind for me.  In my DH's company, it is considered to be bad to attempt to leave a position for another one in the same firm with less than a year in the current position. I don't know if that is a standard thing or not.

 

About school for you, things change. They change all the time. They've changed in the last two months. There's no reason to assume that your DH's job will be exactly like it is right now when you are ready to go back to school.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#26 of 34 Old 08-19-2011, 11:50 AM
 
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Re cub scouts...I'm not sure your DH knows just how long cub scouts take.  All of our friends out here are in cub scouts, and not only is it a once a week meeting, but there seems to be some sort of weekend camping/family/etc activity at least once a month (several times a month in the summer), a week long scout camp, and the popcorn fundraiser that goes on for.e.ver.  We hardly see our friends during the school year because scouting takes up a crap-ton of time.  We actually looked into it until we realized how much time it actually took.  Then again, with 2 boys as kids, that might be a good family life once things settle down...it doesn't work quite as well when we have 2 girls and a boy. :lol:


~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#27 of 34 Old 08-19-2011, 12:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by AllyRae View Post

Re cub scouts...I'm not sure your DH knows just how long cub scouts take.


Unfortunately, he does. He was a cub scout when he was little winky.gif When we went to the "meet the teacher night" before school started they had a booth set up for cub scouts and Owen was looking through the book and talking to the people who were running it and he said it really looked fun. I do want to encourage it, but at the same time it's not something I really want to end up doing (with a baby in tow as well). There's a meeting about it next week so we'll see how that goes. If the leaders are not going to be lenient on the uniform part (no way will Owen wear the uniform) then cub scouts is off the table anyway.

 

As for karate.... it's a little tricky because dh is supposed to be in that karate class too. It was something dh and ds did together, until June when dh got hurt (hurt his shoulder, had surgery, can't do karate yet until the dr okays it). So dh was pretty consistent with taking ds when they were doing the class together (I was only really taking ds when dh was out of town/country, which I don't mind doing). Since June I've had to take ds most of the time (first due to dh's surgery so he couldn't leave the house and then because of his work stuff). I am hoping that once the dr okays dh going back to karate then dh will get back to consistently taking ds (it's twice a week).

 

 


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#28 of 34 Old 08-19-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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It is very normal for some companies. At one of my jobs my schedule was never my own. My boss might hand me 5 days worth of work on Friday at 4pm and tell me it had to be ready Monday morning, I might have to take a call at 3am, and more than once I had to leave the country on just a couple hours notice. It was very good experience and good for my career, but eventually I left for a more family friendly position.

I agree. Dh just made a lateral job move - same salary. But, went from a 24/7 on call, high pressure work environment to a make-his-own-schedule, laid back, family friendly position. He's a new man, and, our family dynamic has changed for the better.
Does your dh like his job? He could start a slow, hold out for the perfect position job search.
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#29 of 34 Old 08-20-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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steph when i was single that was my life. i loved it. it was no big deal.

 

but afterwards - i couldnt handle it and QUIT!!!!

 

the bigger the company, the worse they are.

 

my friend was given leave to go for his father's operation but not for his funeral. 

 

many major CEOs have quit after having children and some have retired to just do consultancy. i cant remember any of the names but i recall hearing a wonderful interview about how shoking the decision was for his coworkers. 


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#30 of 34 Old 08-26-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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With Dave, he doesn't know if he has a lunch until an hour or so before (they host lunches and not dinners).  He'll pack his lunch, bring it to work, and then right before he eats it, finds out that he needs to do a business lunch out of the office with someone.  He also has weekend releases that are huge deals (involve the government & military along with his company)...they would keep him at work for basically 72 straight hours.  And we find out 2 days before.  For example, they planned the release for the first week of July (yes, 4th of July).  Two days before we find out it's not going to happen, and the release date was TBD.  Then in early August, they say it's the 2nd week of August--right when we have other plans.  Two days before, they cancel the release.  Release date is TBD.  Now it's mid August, and we just found out that release is next week because it's the last week for funding of it.  Oy.  We cancelled more plans...plans that were made weeks in advance when we thought we were going to have the release done the 4th of July (meaning, because we had to cancel plans for that, we ended up not doing anything we wanted then either.)  


So, his big release was scheduled to be tomorrow.  We cleared the calendar, cancelled plans, and made arrangements for things to make sure the kids all were taken care of (scheduled some of my appointments around being able to bring the kids with me).  This morning, we learned it was cancelled yet again, with the new date sometime in September.  LOL....  Or maybe not LOL...we are booked solid every weekend through the end of the year.

 

Such is life around here.  *sigh*

 


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