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#1 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My neighbors are genuinely good people, they're just different than us. We parent differently, view nature differently and care for our animals differently. They've been there for two years and for some reason things are going down hill.

-We don't spank, they spank for everything.
-We have few rules, their kids have to ask for permission to do anything. Like they can play in our yard with a soccer ball but if it switches to football they have to ask.
-They keep their dogs outside alone in the heat, breed them and sell them. My dogs live inside during the day and lounge outside at night when it cools down.
-They throw all their trash behind the fence line when their bin gets full.
-They have to show off everything they buy that's expensive and new.

We try very hard to just accept that that's how they are. However lately they refuse to accept that we're us.
Their kids tell us about how much they disapprove of our lifestyle at their house, they apparently discuss it enough they can parrot what is said very nicely. The parents have said things too. Telling us to take our kids to church, ask us why we let them do half of the things we let them do. It's pretty often that I get remarks from them I'd prefer not to hear.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to crack, I want to tell them a few things myself so I'll just say it here and maybe I'll feel better.

Your kids are rude, you apparently can't spank the rude out of them. They have no respect for anything or anyone. I shouldn't have to tell them to get off my car every single day... standing on top. They mimick me when I talk to them. I'm sick of you blasting "Jesus Loves Me" when my kids are playing on your lawn. I want to rescue your dog, clipped ears and all. It was over hundred degrees outside for over 50 days this summer JERKS! Stop throwing trash in the green belt, people run back there and take their dogs back there. Stop looking through the privacy fence and shaking your head at us because the DD's are running around in their chonies. Stop borrowing stuff! Go to the grocery store! Oh and don't roll your eyes when I don't have what you want. By the way the neighbor on the other side of us wants you to stop borrowing stuff too. Stop trying to hide that you drink and smoke... Your beer bottles litter the green belt, Also don't chide me for occasionally smoking, At night I can see the glow of your cigarette when I go out to my car. No I'm not going to fix your computer again. You keep downloading virus' and the last one was from a porn site. Do not try to save my children every chance you get and don't stomp over to talk to me about my kids blasphemous mouths. Saying Christmas is a pagan religion is no where near as bad as you telling her she will only go to heaven if she believes in Jesus with all her heart.

I've never said anything to your kids or you about your beliefs. I've never openly questioned your religion and I've not once bothered you almost daily for something I need to borrow. I've had enough and these holier than though attitudes have got to stop!

Their little boy told me today that my kids are going to hell and I'm going to hell and my kids will be drug addicts because I don't spank them. Then his little sister when on to make faces at me and they asked what happened to the baby in my belly. Guess where my baby went everyone?! JUST GUESS, that's right straight to hell!

I'm done, I think I'm just going to mentally throw stones. I don't want to be ugly like them. It's not in me to hurt others. However I would like to burn a bag of poo on their porch and soap their windows.

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#2 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 04:12 PM
 
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Oh I am so sorry... that is awful. I mean, the rest of it is eyesroll.gif but that is just wrong.

 

I think I would stop answering my front door for awhile. But then I also wouldn't be above bagging up their trash and putting it by their front door. 
 

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Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post Then his little sister when on to make faces at me and they asked what happened to the baby in my belly.
 


 


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#3 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 04:34 PM
 
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Blimey. Do you have any legal recourse? I guess there's no law against being awful... but maybe there is for the rubbish-dumping (although I realise that's the least of your problems!).

 

Is it possible to just cut off contact? Don't let the kids come over, don't answer the door? I mean, they presumably think your kids are a bad influence anyway, so they shouldn't care; and if they do make a fuss, you could point that out to them.

 

ETA: That, or you could pretend you've joined a very strict denomination, and tell them kindly you can't associate with people who visit porn sites/smoke/drink/whatever. :p


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#4 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 05:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're going to start bagging their trash and leaving it against their fence. If they won't do it someone has to and I want to take our dog out their without worrying. As far as the kids are concerned I'm going to ask the kids to not invite them over anymore and also not to accept their invites to play in their yard. We don't need their negativity. I've never in my life had to deal with this kind of fundies. We've known so many wonderful Christan families who were just as accepting as we were and it's really quite sad they're this way. Especially after being able to get along for so long before all this. I'm seriously at a loss. I want to do mean things to them and I know it's not right. They bring out a special kind of mean in me
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#5 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 06:17 PM
 
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This sounds like harassment to me, I'd look into pressing charges.


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#6 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 06:28 PM
 
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Well firstly if they are being inhumane to their dogs, call Animal Control. Second, every time those kids say those things, tell them that Jesus says to love thy neighbor. The next time dear wifey comes over to yell, tell her that Jesus loves her and that as far as you know, its still legal to not be a christian and then ask. So is it okay to look at porn and booze it up when your a christian?  And when she comes to borrow ALWAYS SAY NO.  Sorry I have no patience for this. Plug the hole in the fence. 

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#7 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 08:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I want to say mean things. We already turned down an offer to play tonight. As far as the animal control goes, we've called. We also check when they're gone to make sure the dog has water.

I don't want to bash Christians as this is our first time really dealing with any like this, All our other experiences have been good. I really think these people are so sad. I just can't believe that walk around thinking they're so much better and trying to hide all their junk. It's pretty pathetic. My kids don't like to play with them but do since other kids usually won't. They're being nice when they don't have to, so it didn't hurt their feelings when I asked them if they would be okay declining playing with them. I hate for them to have to be left out but it's uncomfortable and we're not the only ones who have noticed. Their kids are not allowed at the house across the street for reasons she won't share. And the other neighbor won't answer the door if she sees the husband come and ask to borrow anything. Last time he borrowed her really nice bbq and left it in the rain. She was peeved.
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#8 of 20 Old 09-21-2011, 11:22 PM
 
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It doesn't sound like your neighbors *are* good people.  :D

 

We used to have kids from a religious family that played with my kids.  If they said things to my daughter about going to hell, she would usually get angry and argue back with them.  Apparently they must have told their parents, because the kids stopped saying those things. I'm a Presbyterian and my daughter went to a Christian kindergarten at the time, but the neighbors were LDS and the comments mostly seemed to imply that we didn't have the true religion.  But once it seemed like we would counter their comments and find them rude, they stopped saying them.  I also asked my daughter to be respectful about not saying "oh my god" all the time.  Of course, these children were genuinely very nice, I think, they were just young and had the belief system of their parents and they seemed to earnestly believe what they were saying.

 

I would probably call the children on their rudeness and inappropriate behavior every time they said something like that in my presence.  The kids may tell the parents, and either the parents will stop them from coming over, the kids might stop trying to play, or maybe they'll actually change their behavior.  I mean if the kids say that your kids will be drug addicts because they aren't spanked, you could say, "That simply isn't true, there are studies that have shown that children who are spanked are more likely to abuse drugs" or  "This isn't true and it is not good manners to say these things to my children.  Would you like people to say the same thing about you?"  And I'd just keep saying it, and try and give my children some ways to cope if the other kids are saying these rude things to them.

 

The children sound like they are very contemptuous of you, and that has to be coming from the parents.

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#9 of 20 Old 09-22-2011, 01:19 AM
 
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Wow, as a Christian myself, I must say they don't sound much like practicing Christians!!! What a nightmare. Sounds like you are doing all the right things though..cutting off contact, calling animal control, etc. Sounds like you have done all you could do and tolerated enough from these crazies. I must say, this sounds like a crazy issue, not a Christian issue.

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#10 of 20 Old 09-22-2011, 06:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You're right lilmom, like I've said before I've never encountered people like this. And before it was just annoying things. I realize not all people care about whats around them as much as we do. I mean we were sad when they cut down the fig tree in their yard but that's not our business just seemed so sad to cut it down because they didn't like the smell. They're renters too so I doubt the owner will be very happy with them. All the things that bothered us we easy to just ignore unless it had to do with their dogs. I actually spoke to them this spring about how hot it was going to be and that it was best to keep all our dogs in to include theirs. I even suggested letting their dog over to our place during the day when they needed to be away. They thanked us but never took us up on it. I know I must do some things they find irritating, Everyone does

DH and I are trying to figure out when things went wrong, what must have been said at some point or done that would make them start going overboard. I don't like not getting along with people in my area. The negative energy is too much for me to keep up with. Also we don't tell on their kids when they misbehave even if it's really obnoxious or rude, there punishments suck! Spanking, grounding for weeks at a time, or dog poop duty but that's pretty funny because you can hear them giggling when they're picking it all up. Poops funny to everyone.

Anyone have any good suggestions that don't include retaliation on how to make this better?
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#11 of 20 Old 09-22-2011, 06:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by lilmom View Post

What a nightmare. Sounds like you are doing all the right things though..cutting off contact, calling animal control, etc. Sounds like you have done all you could do and tolerated enough from these crazies. I must say, this sounds like a crazy issue, not a Christian issue.


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#12 of 20 Old 09-22-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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Honestly, I'd start throwing their trash back over the fence into their yard when I walk the dog. And I'd do some strong signals that the going to hell talk, dancing on cars, borrowing things constantly behaviors are not welcome. Say no to every request to borrow something. You don't owe them an excuse. "I'm sorry, that's not going to work for me" will suffice. The kids climb your car? Then they go home. Immediately. They talk back to you? It's ok to get stern. "You may not speak to me/my children that way. Time to go home." That line works on the adults, too. (Maybe minus the "time to go home" part. Substitute "time for us to go home" instead.)

 

I'd keep it short and sweet, and rinse and repeat as many times as necessary until they start observing better boundaries with you and your family.

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#13 of 20 Old 09-22-2011, 05:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had to go over today because their dog was running around. I think it's a new one, looked like a 6 month ish pit. Nice. I've noticed them moving a lot of stuff from their house. I hope their moving. I know they planned on doing so eventually. They wanted to buy a house but he bought a new BMW instead... not sure why. So we'll see. Could be a wonderful thing. I'm actually super happy at the prospect, I certainly hope it's true!!!!!
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#14 of 20 Old 09-23-2011, 12:10 PM
 
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poor you.  ew ew ew ewwwww.  you seem so much nicer than i EVER would be about it. 

censored.gif's come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and religious persuasions and i find that frequently the censored.gif-ness is pretty independent of professed religion's values much of the time. 

i hope for your sake they move. 


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#15 of 20 Old 09-23-2011, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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They are moving!!!!  That's probably why they've been so rude lately.  They think they don't have to be nice anymore.  Too bad I was nice to them all this time.  Such wasted energy!

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#16 of 20 Old 09-23-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

They are moving!!!!  That's probably why they've been so rude lately.  They think they don't have to be nice anymore.  Too bad I was nice to them all this time.  Such wasted energy!



Glad to hear they're moving -- hopefully soon! 


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#17 of 20 Old 09-24-2011, 05:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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SOOOOOOO EXCITED!  We're going to celebrate October 1st like never before!!! 

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#18 of 20 Old 09-25-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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Some neighbors that I dislike are also moving soon! banana.gif Happy dance for us both!

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#19 of 20 Old 09-25-2011, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Some neighbors that I dislike are also moving soon! banana.gif Happy dance for us both!

YAY!!! It's gonna be an awesome week! I just spoke to the neighbor that banned them from borrowing anything every again and she was so happy! I got so many hugs from her like I did it myself. Gee whiz I thought I was the only one turning cartwheels!
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#20 of 20 Old 09-25-2011, 11:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

They are moving!!!!  That's probably why they've been so rude lately.  They think they don't have to be nice anymore.  Too bad I was nice to them all this time.  Such wasted energy!



Yea that they are moving!  I think you've handled the situation with extreme grace.  Make sure you have a discussion with the kids that they are NOT going to hell, regardless of what the neighbor's think. I wanted to comment on the bolded part...I don't think that being nice to a**holes is a waste of time. They were your neighbor's, they had kids the same age range of your kids. Being nice isn't wasted energy, I think it shows a lot of your character that you are willing to go the extra step and be nice, be a good neighbor- because there were KIDS watching to see how you handled the situation. Bravo, because you've given your kids a great lesson in HUMANITY :)

 

Yeah Oct. 1st!!!


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