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#121 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 03:57 AM
 
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19 when I found out I was pregnant, two months later I turned 20, so I guess it'd be 20. Now on my on my second and I'm 26 and I'll be 27 in two months. 


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#122 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 10:19 AM
 
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First at 23. She was full term stillborn. Was pregnant 7 weeks later with DD. Her first bday is Sat. I was thinking of having 4 right together but now am having trouble regulating my cycle. It's so strange that I could get pregnant 7 PP with one and then have problems having a third. I wonder though if it is because of having 2 back to back pregnancies and then bf-ing for 4 months. Or maybe I used up all my progesterone? haha. Now that I have a 1 year old I feel fine having just one more between now (I just turned 25) and turning 30. So, plenty of time.


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#123 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 10:40 AM
 
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hmm...I think, judging from some comments here, that I've aged atypically or something. I don't have anywhere near as good an idea of who I am as I did in my 20s, and I'm certainly not as calm or patient, especially with babies.


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#124 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 10:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

hmm...I think, judging from some comments here, that I've aged atypically or something. I don't have anywhere near as good an idea of who I am as I did in my 20s, and I'm certainly not as calm or patient, especially with babies.



I have a better idea of what I don't / didn't like in my life than I did when my boys were young.  A lot of the impatience I felt about the things they were doing was misplaced.  If I knew then what I know now, I'd have been able to enjoy them more.


Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), an underachieving Bernese Mountain Dog (2006-2014), and an overachieving mother (1930).  Married to DH since 1986.
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#125 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 10:59 AM
 
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Started trying at 28. Adopted at 35, first pregnancy at 38, pregnant now at 41.

 

That's how the story happened. Had I gotten pregnant when I first intended I would not have my oldest daughter. She'd be a complete strange living in someone else's home. I don't like to think about this. I sometimes wish I'd spent that pre-kid time building some fabulous career but DH had employment issues when I was in my early 30s so I stuck with a less than ideal job. 

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#126 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 11:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

hmm...I think, judging from some comments here, that I've aged atypically or something. I don't have anywhere near as good an idea of who I am as I did in my 20s, and I'm certainly not as calm or patient, especially with babies.


I can guarantee you that I haven't developed any awesome qualities (like patience, etc.)!  The difference for me now is that I tend to care less about others' opinions.  When I was younger, I used to care deeply about what people thought of me and I was so tied up with being perfect.  Knowing myself all too well, perfectionism would have extended to my mothering abilities.  A small example would have been something like my mother's criticism of co-sleeping.  If she had criticized me then, I would have been a ball of frustration and hand ringing.  She says something now and generally my response would be "Okay, whatever."  I don't know...maybe it is because I've become so far removed from the need for positive reinforcement.  I still have my issues, but I scratch my head from time to time and ask:  why did I care so much?
 

 


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#127 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 11:13 AM
 
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Yes - I've definitely aged atypically. I don't know that I care all that much about what other people think of me now, but I think I care more than I did when I was younger. As far as parenting goes, I totally went with my gut/heart with ds1, and just didn't worry what others thought.

Although, now that I think about it...I think it may have to do - partly - with my two different husbands. DS1's dad was very laidback and didn't worry any more than I did what other people thought about our parenting, lifestyle, etc. And, on those issues where he disagreed with me, he never said anything, or expressed an opinion. He just let me do things my way. (This actually ended up being a factor in our marriage falling apart, because he had all these resentments and issues about stuff that I never even knew bothered him.) DH, otoh, is probably more opinionated than I am (ie. very!), and challenges me on things. I think this ends up in a better all around environment for the kids - and for me, for that matter - but it also contributes to me second guessing myself a lot...and being much more aware that my way may not be the only, or even best, way to handle things.

 

I don't know what all the factors are. I just know I've never had very much self-confidence. When I was younger, that didn't, for whatever reason, extend to my parenting much. Now, it does - in a big way.

 

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#128 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my parents tried for 8 years to get pg and adopted me within 3 months were pregnant-


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#129 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 02:15 PM
 
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26 when DS was born - nearly 27.  No plans for future babes right now, but time will tell! :-)  

 

Definitely an interesting trend here with the early-mid 20s vs. late 30s/early 40s.  Have seen this with my friends and my husband's (he's 7 years older) - sometimes career, finding right person, fertility issues, etc. makes the difference.  I'm a younger mom than I may have thought I would be, but loving it every step of the way!  I didn't have an amazing career to give up, but had had some selfish "me" time, traveled a little in school, etc. so I'm quite content.  In fact, I think DS (and DH) have really helped center me and given me roots (something I never had before, and didn't want because I only viewed it as "tied down") - so I feel more confident and more myself as a mom.


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#130 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 03:15 PM
 
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When I was young I had a plan, married at 25 and kids at 27, 29, 33, and 35.

 

But alas, I didn't find Mr Right until I was 39. DS was born when I was 41.  We are TTC#2 before I hit 45. I would have prefered to be a little younger when I started, but it is what it is and I am blessed with the family I do have.
 

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My mother started having kids at 27, and had her youngest at 42 (plus a miscarriage after that). She claims to be too old and worn-out for optimal parenting now, but she's a much more relaxed, happy mother with the younger kids than she was with us! So I don't think being an older mum is doom and gloom.

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#131 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 03:34 PM
 
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I had my DD at 17 and after 3 losses i had DS just 6months ago at 22(just a couple wks b4 my 23rd). I would love to have 1 more after i finish school..but with my fertility issues we will just have to see im extremely blessed to have 2 sweeties as it is and very thankful. joy.gif

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#132 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 05:13 PM
 
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My mom didn't have me until 42 and then my brother at 43. It was not a good situation for us just because I think she did not respond well to menopause which she hit when my brother and I were teenagers. BUT, I think most of her issues came from lifelong mental health issues that she still hasn't dealt with. We unfortunately have no relationship with her now. I know for me that was a big part of why I wanted to be a young mom. My mom would bitch us out and then the next minute say, "Oh, sorry, I'm just tired."


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#133 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 06:29 PM
 
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Just shy of 24.

 

 

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#134 of 174 Old 02-02-2012, 06:44 PM
 
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24


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#135 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 07:12 AM
 
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I just turned 20 w/ DD, now I'll be 23 this month and should we pregger by next month, then we're done.


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#136 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Had my first at 23, second at 25, third at just a month before 30th birthday and will have turned 32 about 2 weeks before this next one is born :)

 

Speaking from personal experience, I am a much calmer, relaxed mother now than I was having my first, and even second baby.  Things don't phase me as much and generally find myself to be more in control of my life, emotions, household, etc. I think though it's because my life has stabilized, our relationship with dh is in a much better place (we have both grown up a lot in the past 10 years!) and so my general anxiety is much lower (it's hard to be a laid-back mom if your relationship is not where it should be). As far as what the age has to do with it? Experience does count for a lot I find.  There is not much my toddler can do to really surprise me. Been there, done that, LOL.


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#137 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 09:58 AM
 
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DD was born when I was 18, and DS was born the day after my 24th birthday.

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#138 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 10:03 AM
 
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I was 26.  I was hoping to be finished by the time I am 30, but it looks unlikely now.  DD's birth was bad and ended in a c-section.  The doctor said he tore my uterus a lot and wouldn't recommend a vaginal birth because of that.  There's only a 4% VBAC rate where I live though, so I kind of doubt him.  I really want to have a VBAC though, so I want to wait a few years and make sure my uterus (and the rest of me!) is in really good shape for it.

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#139 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 11:12 AM
 
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I was 24 when I had my daughter. I'll be 25 in March. I feel like it was the perfect age to have my first. I do want to be done by the time I am ~thirty though. :-P We would like one or two more.


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#140 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 11:37 AM
 
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I was 29 when DS was born. He will likely be an only child.


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#141 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 11:45 AM
 
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I was pregnant a few times as a teen, but those pregnancies ended in miscarriage.

 

I had DD1 at 20

DD2 at 22 - adoption

DS1 at 24 - adoption

and DD3 at 27

 

I felt too young for DD1 and too old for DD3.  So I'm guessing somewhere in the mid-20's is the perfect age for me to have babies.  Most people in my family have them young too.  I have at least one or two surrogacy's in me and maybe one more baby of my own.  So I doubt I will be done by 30 like I originally thought.  Hopefully somewhat close to it though. :)


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#142 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 04:35 PM
 
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I had my first at 25. We wanted it to be earlier, but it took a couple of years to conceive the first. I had my 2nd last year, at 28. I'd like to have one more in a few years.


Mama to a preschooler and a baby.

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#143 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 05:00 PM
 
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My heart goes out to Kirsten and her husband. I wish them a lifetime of happier news.

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#144 of 174 Old 02-03-2012, 10:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post

The difference for me now is that I tend to care less about others' opinions.  When I was younger, I used to care deeply about what people thought of me and I was so tied up with being perfect.  Knowing myself all too well, perfectionism would have extended to my mothering abilities.  A small example would have been something like my mother's criticism of co-sleeping.  If she had criticized me then, I would have been a ball of frustration and hand ringing.  She says something now and generally my response would be "Okay, whatever."  I don't know...maybe it is because I've become so far removed from the need for positive reinforcement.  I still have my issues, but I scratch my head from time to time and ask:  why did I care so much?
 

 



I can totally relate to this.  Could've written it myself.


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#145 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 08:42 AM
 
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36 for number one, and hoping for a number two at 38. 

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#146 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 03:12 PM
 
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21 for DS

28 for DD

 

Unless my IUD malfunctions, there shall be no more! Unless DH wants to breastfeed & be the full-time caregiver....and go through the pregnancy and labor too! Then, we can have more kids!


               "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses."

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#147 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 06:04 PM
 
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My first child was at 33! Then 35, then 38.  :)   My youngest is 4 and  I am 42. I breastfed about 8 years!  :)


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#148 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 07:15 PM
 
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I was 21 when DS was born, after two years of trying. I was 27 when DD was born, again after two years of trying (and LOTS of fertility meds). We won't be intentionally conceiving again (at least that's what our plan is for now) but we also don't intend to use birth control again. If I get pregnant again it will be a miracle and we'll assume it's meant to be.


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#149 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 08:20 PM
 
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I was in my early 40's when I wondered if mothering was for me.  I'd assumed I "wasn't the type" but was getting feedback otherwise ("You're so nurturant!") & my biological clock was beginning to talk to me.  So... almost 44 I had my first & only.  I'd wanted another, but my husband of 15 years was overwhelmed by one (and he was the Dad!), so we stopped at that.

Best adventure I've ever had!  I love being Mom!  And my son gladdens me most every day.

I am very blessed.

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#150 of 174 Old 02-04-2012, 09:26 PM
 
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30 when DD was born; 34 with DS, almost two years ago already. Although DD is on a have-another-kid! campaign, DH and I feel our family is complete. 

 

My mom had hers at 22, 25, week before 29, and 33.5; her mother had her at about 22 (my mom is the oldest of four herself). Because the women in my family before me had children young and then went on to live long lives themselves, my kids and I have been lucky to know our respective great-grandmothers. Mine was with us until age 95 (I was 26 when she died), and my kids still have their great-grandmother (my grandma is about 85 now). (Grandpas though are kinda lacking in the longevity department over here.)

 

My kids are just shy of being four years apart in age. I'm already way more relaxed with DS in his first twenty months compared to how anxious I was as a new mom with DD at the same age. I'd say they are both benefitting from the BTDTness that I feel nowadays, even with the new challenges of mothering an almost six-year-old.


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