How old were you when you had your first child? - Mothering Forums
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Talk Amongst Ourselves > How old were you when you had your first child?
Mom31's Avatar Mom31 12:59 PM 01-30-2012

Just curious... I was 22.  I had dd when I was 25. I am now 31 and done having kids.



Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 01:04 PM 01-30-2012

I was 24, almost 25.

 

I'd planned to have four kids, quite close together, and be done by 31 or 32. As it turned out, I had years of secondary infertility, three miscarriages, etc. So, I do have my four living children, but I had my other ones at 34 (almost 35), 37, 39 (he was a term stillbirth) and 41. Now, I'm 43, my youngest is 2.5, and I'm definitely done.


CatsCradle's Avatar CatsCradle 01:10 PM 01-30-2012

I had DD just shy of my 43rd birthday.  One and done.


Peony's Avatar Peony 01:12 PM 01-30-2012

DD1 was born when I was 20. DD2 when I was 24, DS1 at 26 and DS2 at 28. I'm 29 now and VERY much done. I had originally thought I would be all done by mid 20's, I mostly made it. 


mariamadly's Avatar mariamadly 01:13 PM 01-30-2012

I was 26 with DS1, 29 with DS2.  Took years and years to feel done for certain; was undecided for quite a while.


3xMama's Avatar 3xMama 01:14 PM 01-30-2012

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and 20 when DD was born. With DS1 I was 23 and with DS2 I was 25. We are most likely done, unless (as DH puts it) we hit the lottery and never have to worry again, lol. 

 

Definitely a young mom, but I like that when my babies are grown up, DH and I will still be young enough to enjoy our couples time, and hopefully have more money than we did starting out so we will be able to enjoy it! 


onlyzombiecat's Avatar onlyzombiecat 01:37 PM 01-30-2012

I was 25 when dd was born. Dh and I decided not to have more children. I'm 37 now.


cat13's Avatar cat13 01:42 PM 01-30-2012

DS is my first and I had him last year while I was still 30. For me, it's a good age, because I still feel young but I had lots of time time be a selfish young adult!


limabean's Avatar limabean 01:44 PM 01-30-2012

I was 29 when DS was born, 33 when DD was born. 

 

That's pretty average by today's standards, I think, but it seems very old to me because my mom had her kids at 20 and 22. Part of me is glad that I had kids when I was more mature, but part of me wishes I had been a young mom like mine was (and is! Here I am at almost 37 and my mom is still in her 50s). 


philomom's Avatar philomom 02:10 PM 01-30-2012
With the first I was 26. Had the last one right at age 30.

I would have had more but dh wasn't on board. I kept hoping for a happy surprise but it hasn't happened yet.
broodymama's Avatar broodymama 02:12 PM 01-30-2012

DS1 was born 2 days before my 29th birthday.


waterproofmascara's Avatar waterproofmascara 02:21 PM 01-30-2012

DS was born when I was 21, and I had my surprise DD right after my 35th birthday. 


Smokering's Avatar Smokering 02:23 PM 01-30-2012

Was 21 when I had DD, and had DS on my 25th birthday. I'd like to have one or two more with similar spacing, which would make me 29 and then 33 (or thereabouts). I'd like to be done with pregnancy and birth in my 20s, and DH would be happier with 3 kids than 4, so... we'll see. Of course, that's assuming everything goes to plan. :p Knowing me, I'll probably get pregnant with triplets at the age of 42 or something.

 

My mother started having kids at 27, and had her youngest at 42 (plus a miscarriage after that). She claims to be too old and worn-out for optimal parenting now, but she's a much more relaxed, happy mother with the younger kids than she was with us! So I don't think being an older mum is doom and gloom - I just handle pregnancy badly enough as it is, and suspect it wouldn't get any better as I aged.


Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 02:34 PM 01-30-2012


Quote:

Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

 

My mother started having kids at 27, and had her youngest at 42 (plus a miscarriage after that). She claims to be too old and worn-out for optimal parenting now, but she's a much

more relaxed, happy mother with the younger kids than she was with us! So I don't think being an older mum is doom and gloom - I just handle pregnancy badly enough as it is, and suspect it wouldn't get any better as I aged.



I've found parenting as an older parent very, very challenging. I just don't have the energy, and I can't bounce back from sleep deprivation the way I could in my 20s (although I'd have laughed at the idea that what I did then was "bouncing back" - perspective is everything). But, yeah - my first pregnancy was a breeze. Aside from a tiny bit of low back trouble in my last month, I had no issues, whatsoever. My second term one, 10 years later, was more difficult, and they just got harder and harder and harder. I never had serious problems, but the fatigue that came with my first trimester (even with ds1) got worse, and lasted longer, every time.

 

However, unlike your mother, I'm not even close to being a more relaxed, happy mother than I was with ds1. I'm actually more  uptight (I was pretty laidback with him), and nowhere near as much fun.


artekah's Avatar artekah 02:50 PM 01-30-2012
I had my first at 28, and my second 2 weeks after I turned 30. I'm done!
Flower of Bliss's Avatar Flower of Bliss 02:51 PM 01-30-2012

I was 26 when DD1 was born, 29 when DD2 was born, and will be 32 when this one is born.  We're hoping for one more at about 35, but we'll see how things go between now and then.  I wanted to start sooner, but I had/have fertility issues.  It took about 2 years to conceive DD1.

 

My mom had me (her first) at 22, her second at days away from 25, and her last at 29.  I initially wanted 4 by 30.  Oh well orngtongue.gif  I'm glad we ended up with DD1 when we did.  It's allowed me to be a SAHM indefinitely and quite comfortably.  A few years earlier we would have been in a very different place financially.


greenmom4's Avatar greenmom4 02:52 PM 01-30-2012

I had my oldest when I was 25, my dd when I was 27 and my little guy just after I turned 30.  I have much respect for parents in their 30's and 40's.  It's definitely not easier as  you get older!


KristyDi's Avatar KristyDi 02:53 PM 01-30-2012

I was 29 when DD was born.  I'll be 34 when this little one makes his or her appearance.  I'm not sure about kids after that.  We didn't really expect it to take quite this long to get pregnant after DD (she'll be 4 soon)  I originally wanted to have 3 kids, but I'm not sure I want to be pregnant after this time.  I guess we'll wait and see.

 

I frequently get asked if DD is our only and people seem a bit surprised that she is.  I'm not sure if that's related to my age or not.  Around here I'm on the older side to only have one toddler.  Most of DD's friends either have maybe one younger sibling and a mom 6 or 7 years younger than me or they're the youngest of 2 or 3 siblings and the mom is my about my age.


CatsCradle's Avatar CatsCradle 03:03 PM 01-30-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmom4 View Post

I had my oldest when I was 25, my dd when I was 27 and my little guy just after I turned 30.  I have much respect for parents in their 30's and 40's.  It's definitely not easier as  you get older!


I mentioned up thread that I had DD when I was about 43, but I have nothing to compare "easier" or "harder" to since DD is my only.  Everyone in my family had kids relatively late (my grandmother had both children in her 40s).  When I feel tired, it is usually because I'm not taking care of myself (getting enough sleep; eating right; etc.).  I'm not sure if being younger would necessarily give me more energy to deal with the day-to-day DD stuff.  I think that overall, having kids is hard, and I'm not sure how my approach would be any different at 23, 33, or 43.  I feel great at 48. 
 

 


gypsymomma's Avatar gypsymomma 03:53 PM 01-30-2012

i was 36 when ds was born....he's our one and only...we tried for more but it always ended in a miscarriage (3). its all good...we're blessed with our ds!


Mom31's Avatar Mom31 03:55 PM 01-30-2012

I think I may have had more patience and wisdom if I had been older... there are pros and cons to both sides... I am looking forward to still being in my forties when kids are in college- that s my light at end of parenting tunnel lol.  Tho I will miss this like crazy when they are gone I am sure. 


katelove's Avatar katelove 04:01 PM 01-30-2012

I had my first at 34. I hope to have my second before I turn 37 at the end of this year.


Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 04:16 PM 01-30-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom31 View Post

I think I may have had more patience and wisdom if I had been older... there are pros and cons to both sides... I am looking forward to still being in my forties when kids are in college- that s my light at end of parenting tunnel lol.  Tho I will miss this like crazy when they are gone I am sure. 



That was my plan, but i'm not going to be young when they're in college (well, ds1 is in college - but I've still got one in diapers). That's the part I dislike the most, honestly. I figured I'd be figuring out if there was anything else i wanted to do with my life by about 10 years ago, and maybe contemplating college myself (not likely, but possible). Between my age and our choice to homeschool, it's not likely I'll be looking at any of that. OTOH, now that I've been out of the workforce, and the school system, for almost a decade, I'm much less convinced that I'd ever want to go back to either...


mariamadly's Avatar mariamadly 04:55 PM 01-30-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post



That was my plan, but i'm not going to be young when they're in college (well, ds1 is in college - but I've still got one in diapers). That's the part I dislike the most, honestly. I figured I'd be figuring out if there was anything else i wanted to do with my life by about 10 years ago, and maybe contemplating college myself (not likely, but possible). Between my age and our choice to homeschool, it's not likely I'll be looking at any of that. OTOH, now that I've been out of the workforce, and the school system, for almost a decade, I'm much less convinced that I'd ever want to go back to either...



Right where I am now!  Our youngest left this past August, and I'm struggling with the "shoulds" about going back to school or paid work or something.  I realize that controlling my own time matters way too much to me right now.  I'm 49 this spring, by the way.

 

Thinking back on my mother, she had me at 33, so at my current age she had a freshman in high school.


Storm Bride's Avatar Storm Bride 05:27 PM 01-30-2012


Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post


When I feel tired, it is usually because I'm not taking care of myself (getting enough sleep; eating right; etc.).  I'm not sure if being younger would necessarily give me more energy to deal with the day-to-day DD stuff. 

 



I'm sure there's some variation between individuals, but you kind of hit on what happens with me with "getting enough sleep". I didn't get enough sleep when ds1 was very little. I was tired, but I was also able to bounce back to a much greater extent than I can now. DD2 is a terrible sleeper, and is up really late almost every night, and I"m not getting enough sleep now, either. But, it takes it out of me way more than it did when I was 25 or 26. When ds1 was little, a night with little or no sleep would mean that  I'd drag my heels a little the next day, but mostly be okay. Now, it means I'm wiped - like almost unable to function - the next day, and still tired for a day or so after that.


34me's Avatar 34me 06:40 PM 01-30-2012

First at 26, 2nd at 28 and 3rd at 30.  Didn't we space that awesomely?!  dd and ds1 are clomid babies and ds2 is out OMG, how die THAT happen!  Some days I wish I had them younger but, I ahhhh didn't know their father until I was 22, got married at 23 and had them as fast as I could....  DD turned 18 at the beginning of this month and while it seams to be ending way too soon, I couldn't imagine starting over.


pianojazzgirl's Avatar pianojazzgirl 06:44 PM 01-30-2012

ECWOHAK (eating chips with one hand at keyboard)

 

i had dd when i was 28 and ds when i was 31.  i'm def done.

 

i feel pretty good about what age i had them at.


Buzzer Beater's Avatar Buzzer Beater 06:45 PM 01-30-2012

First at 27, second at 45. Felt like great spacing to me.


anjsmama's Avatar anjsmama 06:52 PM 01-30-2012

I had DS when I was 19. DD was born when I was 21. I am now 22 and I am feeling quite done. I guess only time will tell! DH and I have always thought we wanted 4, but our 2 are quite a handful, I just can't imagine more! Plus I'm starting to get nieces and nephews now and boy is that fun joy.gif.


Heavenly's Avatar Heavenly 08:11 PM 01-30-2012

I was 21 when I had my son, 23 when I had my first daughter, and 26 when I had my second daughter. I am very happy that I had them young because now they are 6, 9, and 11 and I am only 32 years old. 


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