I never thought I'd be *that* parent... - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 I was recently on a plane with my son (2 years old) and I found myself giving him M&Ms to keep him in his seat during take off. Before he was born, I would have sworn up and down that I would never be the kind of parent to bribe my son with candy! How naive I was....:) 

 

Some other principles that flew out the window once I actually became a parent:

 

I swore my child would never eat unrefined sugar until preschool or kindergarten. But....I've definitely given in to lollipops a the bank, trips to the ice cream shop, cookies, you name it!

 

I planned on having a TV-free child until kindergarten. But....we found that Yo Gabba Gabba on our portable notebook was the only way to make it through car rides without screaming. I've also been guilty of letting my son watch YouTube toddler videos while I make business calls. 

 

I promised myself we'd have a plastic-free house. But...that lasted about 2 seconds! We were blessed with incredible generosity after my son was born, mostly in the form of plastic toys. They're not pretty to look at, not great quality, and horrible for the environment, but they were free, and they've hung around. 

 

Did your expectations/principles change once your kids were born? 


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#2 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 11:34 AM
 
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 I was recently on a plane with my son (2 years old) and I found myself giving him M&Ms to keep him in his seat during take off. Before he was born, I would have sworn up and down that I would never be the kind of parent to bribe my son with candy! How naive I was....:) 

 

 

BRILLIANT!!! I'm going to remember this in June when I fly with my 3yo. Just BRILLIANT!! Hmm...now I need to come up with a super exciting treat that he's never had before but will love....

 

There are lots of examples of things that I do differently than I thought I would. Tons really. I think the only thing I've really stuck to is no TV. But thats only because we don't own a TV - he watches movies on my iPad instead. At least there aren't any commercials?

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#3 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 12:05 PM
 
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I used m and ms for a recent plane journey too! I was never anti-sugar or bribery in travel/unusual situations though. Plastics I held off for a time, til they were old enough not to chew everything I guess. It's hard to do though, especially with relatives. 

 

I thought I would yell a heck of a lot less (or never), and find that I yell much more than I'd like, actually. That's probably my biggest regret as such things go. Everything else I figure in moderation, it'll be okay. 


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#4 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 12:10 PM
 
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BRILLIANT!!! I'm going to remember this in June when I fly with my 3yo. Just BRILLIANT!! Hmm...now I need to come up with a super exciting treat that he's never had before but will love....

 

There are lots of examples of things that I do differently than I thought I would. Tons really. I think the only thing I've really stuck to is no TV. But thats only because we don't own a TV - he watches movies on my iPad instead. At least there aren't any commercials?

Lollipops are great because they can suck on them for a while... m and ms or skittles because you can dole them out one by one. I wrapped up library books the kids didnt know I'd checked out, so they were fun to discover. The novelty of the whole trip was exciting to my kids though. I have to say, for all the hoopla about loud kids/babies on planes; the airplane itself is pretty darn loud, so unless they're really screaming, I don't think anyone could actually hear them doing normal babbling and talking. We also sat 1 kid and 1 adult in one row, and 1 kid and 1 adult behind them. (Older kid in front since she knows well how to sit properly and not to kick seats; this way if younger kid kicked the seat, he'd only be kicking his sister... not that it's okay to kick your sister's seat, but it's better than kicking a strangers'! He only kicked twice on the weather delayed and very very late return flight, none on the outbound.)


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#5 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 05:43 PM
 
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I pads for travel! I never knew how much I would love these machines until I got one but man, so very helpful in many situations. We have one well used, worn one and we hope to keep it going for years. It mainly has books and some games but oh my, so many choices when it comes to books and you only have to take that machine with you (not a bunch of books!). Brilliant stuff. 

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#6 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 05:52 PM
 
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Oh, indeed yes, those expectations changed.  My big ones started when my daughter developed allergies, then really slowed her growth down and nearly fell (spplat!) off the bottom of the growth chart.  You can bet I became very generous with the sugar, and still am Sheepish.gif.

 

I have been successful in my wish to not have princess-y Barbie stuff around, and I first hated My Little Pony, but my girls *loved* them (for years and years!) and I decided they were a nice compromise with their aunties.

No food in the car?  (Snort! biglaugh.gif)  What the hell was I thinking?  Yeesh!

 

Matching clothes.

 

What else?  Still not done yet, I'm guessing.  Ask again in 2 years!


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#7 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 06:51 PM
 
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Pre-DD, I said to myself and others:  Absolutely no pink or purple!  Only browns, blacks, grays and earth tones.

 

Um, hmmm.

 

Now I have a daughter who likes to rough-house and play basketball in a tutu, running shoes and hot pink flower head bands in her hair.  Not my fashion sense, people, but I've learned to go with the flow.  

 

Oh, and another thing:  no plushy toys/stuffed animals!

 

Um, hummm.

 

As I write this, I'm sitting beside two large baskets of every stuffed animal under the sun.  She wants to be a vet, so maybe that's okay?  

 

whistling.gif


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#8 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 07:10 PM
 
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Pre-DD, I said to myself and others:  Absolutely no pink or purple!  Only browns, blacks, grays and earth tones.

 

whistling.gif

 

Yeah. I so relate to this! My daughter loves pinks and purples. So I have given in but I am still encouraging other colors so browns, greens and yellows are invited to the party! No barbies yet or any sort of dolls but we will see if that will bite me in the backside sometime soon....
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#9 of 15 Old 05-24-2012, 07:56 PM
 
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Ditto the gender neutral clothing.  Around 20 or 21 months, DD began showing a distinct and vocal preference for shades of fuschia, purple, and hot pink.  Today, this kid runs around in giant floofy pink dresses and I am continually making her fluttery headbands and buying her sparkly shoes at the thrift store.  I saw her in shirt and pants for the first time in six months yesterday because of an unexpected circumstance, and she was DEVASTATED about being divested of her "tall" dress and her matching headband....for about two minutes... then it was back to running around full speed.... :)


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#10 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 05:54 AM
 
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OH my have my expectations changed!

 

  I was never ever ever going to have video games in the house...never.  Now we have a wii and they have computer games.  Normally, they have 15 minutes on weeknights + 10 if they do their homework well.  And 30 minutes on the weekends + whatever they've earned for helping, being nice, doing homework.  But last weekend, I felt awful, dh was working, and I let them take turns on the computer and wii for just about the whole day.  

 

I was only going to use reusable silverware, cups, plates, and never pollute the environment with that other stuff.  When all my spoons started to get thrown away at school, I started to send them with plastic spoons.  When I'm exhausted and don't want to do dishes, we use paperplates and plastic table clothes and I just bundle it all up and throw it out.

 

So many things that I just can't list here, and I know as my kids go through new stages, that there will be other high standards that may have to take a back seat to my sanity!


 
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#11 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 06:25 AM
 
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I don't do M&Ms for travel, because they make my kids bouncy and hyper.  I have a stash of Matchbox cars for airplanes and restaurants. 

 

I have kept toddlers entertained with YouTube vids of kittens, helicopters, and musical numbers from Glee. 

 

I thought I was going to oppose gun-type toys.  Then I realized that pretend gun battles are far safer than pretend wrestling, or pretend airbending.

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#12 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 06:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know as my kids go through new stages, that there will be other high standards that may have to take a back seat to my sanity!

 

Well put! 


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#13 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 07:15 AM
 
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I don't do M&Ms for travel, because they make my kids bouncy and hyper.  I have a stash of Matchbox cars for airplanes and restaurants. 

 

I have kept toddlers entertained with YouTube vids of kittens, helicopters, and musical numbers from Glee. 

 

I thought I was going to oppose gun-type toys.  Then I realized that pretend gun battles are far safer than pretend wrestling, or pretend airbending.

 

I'm thinking maybe yogurt covered raisins for travel? They are a "treat" and yummy, but not pure sugar (my ds is one that bounces off the wall at the smallest amount of sugar as well - so I'm thinking treats that aren't uber sugary??)

 

Also, how do you get a crazy kid who hates sleep to sleep on the plane? Our flight leaves at 9pm so I'm hoping he'll sleep across country, but I don't know...

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#14 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 07:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post

 

Also, how do you get a crazy kid who hates sleep to sleep on the plane? Our flight leaves at 9pm so I'm hoping he'll sleep across country, but I don't know...

 

If I could answer that question, I'd be rich.

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#15 of 15 Old 05-25-2012, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS still nurses (he's 2), which is a lifesaver on planes, and the only way I could ever get him to sleep. We're slowly weaning, so any trips after the next few months are going to be even more of an adventure, I imagine! Super-single-mama, would your son fall asleep watching a movie? Doesn't work with my kiddo, but many kids zone out enough to nod off when watching TV (as long as they're tired.) 

 

I actually brought yogurt covered raisins with me on our trip, but since they're my go-to treat, my son wasn't really excited about them (jumping on the seat and pulling down the tray table was much more appealing.) Thankfully, we were traveling with my brother, who happened to have M&Ms in his bag. I think the whole plane was grateful. :)  Pirate Booty (or any other cheesy corn puffy things) are also a bit treat for my son--maybe a good alternative to sugary snacks if your little one reacts poorly to sugar? Our seatmate on a plane last year gave my son Cheetos when all my tricks failed and she could see it would be a long flight for all. DS couldn't believe his luck! There I was, with a one year old, covered in neon orange Cheeto dust.....Another example of a time my principles failed!


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