Who is responsible re: car accident - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 08:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Scenerio-

 

Two moms get together, with kids, for a playdate.  Sally drives to pick up Mary.  Mary changes mind and wants to drive (easier bc of car seats).  Sally moves her car to road.  Mary says, no park in the drive (two cars wide, several cars deep).  Car moved, again.

 

Phew. Kids in and buckled up.  Moms in front, ready to head off.  Mary backs up and side swipes the other car. 

 

Who is responsible for paying the costs?  Mary was driving.  Sally sitting in passenger seat. Is Sally obligated to offer to pay deductibles?  Moms are not friends, but two of their children are, and will probably continue to be off and on for years. 

 

Opinions??


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#2 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 08:49 AM
 
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In my opinion, if Sally offered to contribute an amount that was comfortable to her it would be a nice good-will gesture, but I don't think she should feel obligated.  Mary was not only driving, but was instrumental in the positioning of Sally's car, which in my mind makes her doubly responsible.
 

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#3 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 10:08 AM
 
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Mary told here where to put the car. Mary was driving the car. Mary hit the car. 

 

Mary pays.

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#4 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 10:57 AM
 
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Whoever is driving is responsible period. Any offer of help is goodwill only.
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#5 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 10:59 AM
 
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Mary was driving, so Mary. And Mary was the one who wanted the car there and not in the street, so way Mary.
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#6 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 11:49 AM
 
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Mary. No question. But insurance companies sometimes work out a "each one fixes her own" scenario.

Sally should report it to the insurance company. That company will contact Mary's company. Let the insurance companies haggle it. If it goes to mediation, each woman may be asked to pay her own deductible. In that case Sally can ask Mary to pay the deductible, but probably won't get it.
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#7 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 12:06 PM
 
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Mary. In my province each person would have to notify insurance and mary would end up paying her own detuctible and Sally wouldn't have to pay a deductible at all.

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#8 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 12:32 PM
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Mary. 

 

Depending on the amount of damage, Mary may wish to just pay for it out of pocket without notifying insurance companies to keep her rate down.  Regardless, Mary is the one at fault. 

 

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#9 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 01:04 PM
 
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I don't see any way at all to consider this Sally's fault. Mary was driving; she is 100% responsible. Even if Sally parked in such a way that Mary couldn't back out without hitting Sally's car, Mary should have noticed that and not backed up. If a total stranger parks crappy next to me in a parking lot, and I hit their car, it's still my fault.

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#10 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 04:09 PM
 
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The driver.  Unless the driver of the other car blindfolded her and then secretly parked behind her and told her to back up.  

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#11 of 21 Old 06-07-2013, 04:22 PM
 
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I don't think you'd be able to find anyone who would say anything other than that it's clearly Mary's fault. No question.

Please tell me you're Sally. wink1.gif Is Mary saying she shouldn't have to pay or something?
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#12 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 05:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I'm sally. Her insurance will cover all my costs, but I feel like I should offer to pay some of the deductible. Her rates will go up because now she is a bad driver, etc. I want to offer a couple hundred dollars, but my partner insists that I not since she was driving. I just think the money will make it easier for the next 12 years our kids are in school together and even after, since we live in the same neighborhood and are both pretty settled here. I doubt we would ever be friends, but still.

Now I feel uncomfortable around "Mary" because I haven't offered to help and my spouse and I are disagreeing! eyesroll.gif Can't win.

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#13 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 06:33 AM
 
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Honestly, I think you're being silly.  Unless you did something specifically to mess up her actual driving, you are in no way responsible.  Would you feel the same way if she hit a stranger while you were in the car?

Your partner is right.  Sorry :)

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#14 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 06:48 AM
 
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She probably feels horrible for backing into your car where she told you to park it. I know I would!
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#15 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 07:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post

Your partner is right.  Sorry :)

 

 

She thanks you for this!  (Actually, she said, "Of course I'm right!" LOL)


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#16 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 07:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mumm View Post

 

 

She thanks you for this!  (Actually, she said, "Of course I'm right!" LOL)

 

Sadly, I would feel bad too and want to help out and my husband would be all like "ARE YOU INSANE??"  So, even though I talk a good game, I'd feel like I should do something too :)

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#17 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 07:41 AM
 
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I agree that you shouldn't feel obligated to pay for anything, but a gesture of goodwill never hurts -- I can understand your wanting to contribute a little to help the relationship stay good over the next decade plus that you'll know each other.

In other words, your partner is right, but I don't see anything wrong with your feelings.

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#18 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 10:43 AM
 
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Think of it this way, Mary probably already feels really bad about hitting your car. If you give her money, she will likely feel even worse. Maybe bake her cookies so she feels like you don't harbor her any ill will?

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#19 of 21 Old 06-08-2013, 07:14 PM
 
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Yeah, if I were Mary I'd feel pretty silly for hitting your car. I'd just deal with it and expect it to be over and not assume you should contribute monitarily to something that was my fault. I'd go out of my way to be nice to YOU to make up for it!

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#20 of 21 Old 06-11-2013, 12:29 PM
 
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Yeah, if I were Mary I'd feel pretty silly for hitting your car. I'd just deal with it and expect it to be over and not assume you should contribute monitarily to something that was my fault. I'd go out of my way to be nice to YOU to make up for it!

Ditto this. 


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#21 of 21 Old 06-11-2013, 12:49 PM
 
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I wouldn't expect Sally to offer me anything if I were Mary. Even though we're broke, I would feel bad taking money.


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