money handling etiquette - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 10-11-2013, 08:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I almost never use cash anymore because debit cards.  I imagine kids today don't often handle cash either, after the experience I had the other day...

 

I worked ds's book fair and just about every single child paid in cash and all but just 1 or 2 pulled a ball of wadded up singles out of a pocket, along with a handful of change, and plopped it down on the counter next to the register.  After plopping, they looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to pick it up, smooth it out, count it, and hand over their books.  And every single time I nicely but firmly told them to hand it to me neatly.

 

When I was a kid, I was taught that paper money should be kept neatly in a wallet, and when paying for something, it should be handed directly to the clerk in a smooth stack, and any coins should be counted out accurately and dropped gently into the clerk's hand.  I was taught that it was rude to lay money on the counter and make the clerk pick it up.  I was also taught that it was lazy to not count it out myself and to just hand it over and expect the clerk to make sense of it.

 

Is this just another aspect of the degradation of society that seems so prevalent today or am I just stuffy and fussy?  haha  I should add that these kids were 6th-9th graders.


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#2 of 14 Old 10-11-2013, 09:57 PM
 
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I was feeling all compassionate toward the kids until I got to your last line saying that they're 6th-9th graders, because I've helped out at my kids' elementary school book fair and had (little) kids handle their cash the way you describe. But yeah, by middle school age they should know how to pay properly, at least handing over a neat stack of bills that add up to the price of the item + change. I think you handle it well, insisting that they neaten it up and try again.

Regarding your last paragraph though, every generation since the beginning of time has grumbled about "kids these days," so I try not to go there. When we were that age, even though our parents taught us well and we were perfectly polite and mannerly wink1.gif, adults still noticed those kids who didn't act correctly, and groused about what the world was coming to.
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#3 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 05:23 AM
 
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I always use cash. My 7 and 4 year take turns paying if time will allow. I teach them to hand the money to the cashier and so on.

 

I do think that somethings are being "lost" and not in a good way.

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#4 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 08:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I do think that somethings are being "lost" and not in a good way.

 

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

 

 

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Regarding your last paragraph though, every generation since the beginning of time has grumbled about "kids these days," so I try not to go there. When we were that age, even though our parents taught us well and we were perfectly polite and mannerly wink1.gif, adults still noticed those kids who didn't act correctly, and groused about what the world was coming to.

 

Yeah, I've totally become my mother...and grandmother!  haha


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#5 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 08:20 AM
 
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Yuck, having to touch a strangers hand each time i paid for something?

I always lay paper money out neatly, with coins neatly nearby so it is easy to see how much there is, but ont he counter, not in the hand....

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#6 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 09:36 AM
 
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I think putting the money in the hand (does not require touching their hand) is a U.S. thing and considered common courtesy. I've heard that it is considered more polite/appropriate to put the money on the counter in other countries. It's a nuisance and takes a considerable amount of time to pick up individual coins off the counter. My theory is that it is an equality thing. To place the money in the hand is treating the cashier as an equal. To set it down on the counter for them to pick up is treating them subtly as an inferior, like expecting someone to clean up after you.


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#7 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 09:47 AM
 
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I think crinkled money is rude for sure. I was taught to place in hand but that doesn't really require touching people's hands.

Maybe off topic but people don't seem to know how to count back change. I find that annoying!
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#8 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 10:02 AM
 
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I think it's considerate to uncrinkle money before handing it over. I also think when a cashier asks how you are you need to ask them how they are as well.

All that being said, when someone is giving me money I don't care if they throw it at me like torpedoes. Ripped in half? I will tape together. I don't care how the money comes just keep it comin'!!!! LOL

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#9 of 14 Old 10-12-2013, 06:32 PM
 
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Hm, I'm realizing that I often count out the change on the counter and leave it to be picked up rather than placing it directly into the clerk's hand. I worked in retail in my younger days and it never struck me as rude to do this. Often I'm counting it out as the clerk is bagging items or otherwise not paying close attention. It's easier to re-count if the coins are left on the counter.

 

I do smooth out bills before handing them over. In fact, it's a little OCD but I'll arrange all the paper money so that they all have the heads up and from lowest denomination to largest.

 

So I'd say, yeah, I'd expect kids to count out money, smooth out bills and be aware of how much they are paying. I don't think it's a big deal if they put it on the counter rather than in someone's hand.

 

My biggest concern is that it sounds like the kids are just handing over a bunch of cash without knowing exactly how much they have given and how much change they should expect back.  

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#10 of 14 Old 10-13-2013, 08:18 AM
 
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It is rare to see a cashier that has the time to hild his/her hand out for money. They are usually dealing with anther customer already, or putting the purchase ina  bag or something....

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#11 of 14 Old 10-13-2013, 11:12 PM
 
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it's not because it's "rude" to the clerk that you should keep your money neat.

it's because it's good for ***you*** (the money holder, the "money-ed" one) to RESPECT the money you have.

here's what happens to your money when you simply wad it up and cram it in your pocket: you lose it.

it falls out (happens all the time. do you constantly look for money on the ground? i do, and i find a lot of it.) AND/OR you lose track of how much money you have -- you have no running total / approximation of how much dough you are walking around with. (and this is why you don't even miss it when it falls out. you might never even know you dropped that $4 in singles that i picked up off the high school bleachers the other day.) AND, being chronically low of cash (since you don't know how much you actually have), you hit the ATM. again. and thusly lose even more money.

yes, it's a RESPECT thing for money. my grandmother, who was very very frugal, and always *had money* taught me how to do your wallet. you keep the bills in order -- smallest in the front, middle in the middle, biggest in the back. all facing the same way (straight and up). keep a running total in your head, at least an approximation. i don't think you have to go nuts on knowing how much your change purse section holds *exactly* but make it a habit to spend this down to just a few dollars, and hold on to your actual dollar bills, whenever possible; you don't want to walk around with an unnecessarily heavy purse.

------

i will add that the teenagers who hand over their wad of dough for you to count out are sure setting themselves up to be ripped off. geesh. just how many truly *honest* clerks / cashiers are out there who won't be tempted to rip them off when they do that?? i cannot tell you how many times in my life i have had a (for example) fast food worker take my money, say a $5 bill, and try to short me a dollar or two. i always have an approximation going in my head as to how much change i have due. and i'm not even all that good at math.

it's a tough world out there, young people. just going to get tougher -- financially at least.

have some respect for your money and you will always have money. have no respect for it, and well... best of luck to ya.

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#12 of 14 Old 10-13-2013, 11:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
 

Yuck, having to touch a strangers hand each time i paid for something?

I always lay paper money out neatly, with coins neatly nearby so it is easy to see how much there is, but ont he counter, not in the hand....

hmmm. does not the money contain the germs of every single hand it has already passed through? i was always taught that money itself -- the bills and coins -- are necessarily "dirty" (ie, germs) and i ALWAYS wash my hands after handling it especially if going to eat afterwards.

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#13 of 14 Old 10-14-2013, 04:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
 

Yuck, having to touch a strangers hand each time i paid for something?

I always lay paper money out neatly, with coins neatly nearby so it is easy to see how much there is, but ont he counter, not in the hand....


And that's the rude part.  Strangers aren't necessarily dirty and retail workers aren't beneath you.  "Yuck" is EXACTLY the message you're sending, and they get it loud and clear.  It's  just plain insulting.  

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#14 of 14 Old 10-15-2013, 07:23 AM
 
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I see what you mean.

I wasnt raised to put money is someones hand.  I was raised to put it neatly on the counter-bills flattened out so it is easy to see how much money is there. This makes it easier on the cashier. As i said above, ive never seen it done the way it is described here.. The cashier is usually too busy. Also, saying a strangers hands has germs isnt saying they are beneath you. Its just a fact, we all have germs. If i were a cashier, i wouldnt want all those people touching my hand either.

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