Strangers Taking Pictures of Your Kid... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 06:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so last night while we were out trick or treating, we went to a house and an older gentleman answered the door. He gave my son a piece of candy and then immediately pulled out a camera to take his picture. Did not ask my permission. The camera jammed (it was an older camera) so I took that opportunity to quickly say "Happy Halloween" and get my son off the porch. 

 

He was taking pictures of all the kids that came to his door. It just struck me as odd, and didn't sit well with me at all. We didn't know this person, so it's not like he'd want the picture for a keepsake. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but why would you want a bunch of pictures of random kids you don't know?

 

If I'd known before hand that he would try to take a picture, I would've skipped the house entirely. How would you feel about this and react if you were in this situation?


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#2 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 06:53 PM
 
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This happened to us last night, just once. We were in a group, and it was a woman who took the picture. She didn't ask us, but did ask the kids if it was ok with them. I'd like to know what others think too. I'm sure it's fine, but its not something I would do.

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#3 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 06:58 PM
 
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I don't like my kids photographed without my express permission.
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#4 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 07:40 PM
 
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It doesn't bother me in some situations, but the scenario in the OP seems odd -- that wouldn't sit well with me.

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#5 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 08:48 PM
 
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It's one thing to take a shot of a bunch of kids playing in the park or at school without asking each parent for permission.

It's another to take a portrait of your individual kid with you right there without the courtesy of asking.

Not sure what you can do about it now though. It's legal, especially since you were on his property.

Maybe warn close friends in the 'hood about it for the future? Or if you see the man around again, bring it up.

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#6 of 14 Old 11-01-2013, 08:49 PM
 
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Ya, that would probably bother me. My Mom takes pics of the great costumes sometimes but she always asks the parents first.
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#7 of 14 Old 11-02-2013, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone - I'm glad that my hesitation about this isn't unfounded. Next year that house will just not be in the rotation! 

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#8 of 14 Old 11-02-2013, 02:35 PM
 
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It would absolutely bother me, and i would let him know. No pictures of my kid without my consent! I would demand it be deleted.

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#9 of 14 Old 11-03-2013, 05:59 PM
 
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A couple people took my son's picture while he was trick or treating. I didn't think there was anything odd about that. He had an awesome costume, after all:-) I can totally see someone wanting to take pictures of all the cute kids that came to their door. 


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#10 of 14 Old 11-04-2013, 10:20 PM
 
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it wouldnt bother me at all. this is an older gentleman. i am assuming he is not with the times. he was taking photos of all the kids. not singling anyone out. would it have made a difference to any of you if it was an older woman?

 

i have seen an age range where they will ask your permission. but older people - esp. those with no children or grandchildren dont get a lot of what is acceptable or not in society. 


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#11 of 14 Old 11-05-2013, 01:53 PM
 
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My mom does this every year.  Usually with MY camera.  What on earth am I supposed to do with all these pictures of kids I don't know (answer:  delete delete delete).

 

I have also found that older people just don't have the same boundaries an concerns about photos as someone my age.  I'm 40, right in the sweet spot between baby boomers who don't think about your boundaries and millennials who have grown up on the internet  so THEY don't think to ask either.  My kid was all over facebook via my younger cousins LONG before I had a facebook account and older people would always take pictures of my daughter (or touch her) without asking. 

 

Different boundaries for different generations, but that doesn't mean you have to be ok with it.

 

Oh and also?  The world is suddenly FULL of armature photographers of every age, so there's that to contend with.

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#12 of 14 Old 11-05-2013, 04:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post

I'm 40, right in the sweet spot between baby boomers who don't think about your boundaries and millennials who have grown up on the internet  so THEY don't think to ask either.

That's such a good point! I hadn't thought about it that way before, but you're so right!

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#13 of 14 Old 11-05-2013, 05:41 PM
 
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The same exact thing happened to us years ago. An older gentleman opened the door in the apartment community we lived in. He kept the candy bowl all the way across the room so that we had to walk across the living room and into his house to get candy (first red flag). Then he busts out a camera and takes a pic of my son before we knew what hit us (second red flag)! My son's costume was not elaborate and he was by himself. I could see my husband's face...he wasn't happy. I wasn't happy either. We decided not to ask him for the film, as it seemed like overkill, but after thinking about it for a while, I decided to contact the leasing office to let them know about my concerns. Of course they couldn't say much because of privacy issues, but they hinted that he seemed like a good guy and he lived with another adult. I didn't see anyone else in the home but I did see him hanging out with a young teenage boy later that evening. I still didn't feel right about it. I actually went so far as to contact the local police to see if they got any other complaints on the guy. I never heard back from them, and we never saw the guy again. I googled "taking pictures of kids on halloween" or something to that effect, and I did find one or two things which seemed innocent enough from amateur photographers...then I felt a bit better about it. Even so, you should always ask permission before taking someone's photo, especially a child!! And yes, I would have felt differently if it were a woman...still a little taken back, but not as creeped out. 

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#14 of 14 Old 11-05-2013, 07:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
 

would it have made a difference to any of you if it was an older woman?

 

I would've felt the same way. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post

 

I have also found that older people just don't have the same boundaries an concerns about photos as someone my age.  

 

Different boundaries for different generations, but that doesn't mean you have to be ok with it.

 

That's why I mentioned age and gender in my original post - because maybe there are different expectations around boundaries based on that, but yeah - I'm still not okay with it!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmarroq View Post
 

The same exact thing happened to us years ago. An older gentleman opened the door in the apartment community we lived in. He kept the candy bowl all the way across the room so that we had to walk across the living room and into his house to get candy (first red flag). Then he busts out a camera and takes a pic of my son before we knew what hit us (second red flag)! 

 

That's scary. I would never walk into a house of a person I didn't know. Skip that one next year for sure!


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