Planning a play date with the dad instead of the mom? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 81 Old 01-27-2014, 12:16 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

 I saw this article about an SAHD, and had to post it here. I think its very relevant.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/nightline-fix-abc-news/being-mr-mom-stay-home-dads-tough-full-154633088.html?vp=1

contactmaya is offline  
#62 of 81 Old 01-27-2014, 09:21 PM
 
Mulvah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyms View Post
 

Mulvah like limabean said  this was directed at me not you.

 

I'm well aware of that, as I hadn't even commented in the thread at that point.  I was simply commenting on the response I read.  :) 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post
 

 

This is just a general comment about safety and perception...

 

It's not clear to me what sort of extra supervision you are providing that isn't the cultural norm in other parts of (I assume) N. America (?), but perhaps especially in high-crime areas I think it it's important to really look at these issues and be sure that we're evaluating safety conditions with a level head. If we're talking about 5 year olds, I'm assuming that we are not talking about criminals. ;-)  Of course, some 5 year olds are still developing impulse control and learning about their world and need extra supervision. But I would keep it in that realm because that is the case everywhere. 

 

I don't think a great case can be made that 5 year olds are more dangerous depending on the crime stats of various areas. And I do tend to agree with Contactmaya here that thinking in these terms can have some significant negative consequences. 

 

This is just a general response, but for me, it comes down to this:  like vaccinating or not, formula feeding or not, free range or not, most parents are trying to make the best choices for their families.  Making a different choice (i.e. being present for a five-year-old playdate at the home of parents you haven't met) doesn't mean you're uneducated, unenlightened, causing harm to your child, etc. 

Mulvah is offline  
#63 of 81 Old 01-27-2014, 11:26 PM
 
beckybird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Shattered Paradigm
Posts: 1,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)

CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 85


Enjoy analyzing my opinion and telling me why I am wrong! I apologize for having a viewpoint that is different from the rest of the group.


               "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses."

                ~Captain Hammer (j/k, it was Plato)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

beckybird is online now  
#64 of 81 Old 01-27-2014, 11:55 PM
 
Fillyjonk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyBird View Post
 

CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 85


Enjoy analyzing my opinion and telling me why I am wrong! I apologize for having a viewpoint that is different from the rest of the group.

Becky I am sorry you feel upset by this

 

What I would point out is that your opinion was basically about another person, two other people in fact, and their marriage. What you said could also have repercussions for SAHDs who are trying to build circles of friends for their kids. I think your post above implies, intentionally or not, that SAHM should take an extra step before including SAHDs in their circle. 

 

I am sorry if you feel attacked, which was certainly the implication of the graphic you posted. But I think this is the wrong analysis. I think you posted something highly controversial, with real life implications for people, and it caused debate and disagreement. Have you looked at the other side of the argument? What do you specifically disagree with there?

bremen likes this.

Raising Geek_Generation_2.0 :LET ds= 10 ; LET dd1= ds - 2; LET dd2=dd-2; IF month=0.67 THEN LET ds = ds+1; 
Fillyjonk is offline  
#65 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 04:32 AM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,634
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mulvah View Post
 

 

I'm well aware of that, as I hadn't even commented in the thread at that point.  I was simply commenting on the response I read.  :) 

 

 

This is just a general response, but for me, it comes down to this:  like vaccinating or not, formula feeding or not, free range or not, most parents are trying to make the best choices for their families.  Making a different choice (i.e. being present for a five-year-old playdate at the home of parents you haven't met) doesn't mean you're uneducated, unenlightened, causing harm to your child, etc. 

No, of course not. The thing is, and maybe that is what BB is feeling as well, is that a few really interesting points have been touched upon on this thread. Ones that other mothers have disagreed upon. Or, in my case they were points that I wanted to explore further.  But I certainly don't have any ill-will towards anyone here or think any of the things you said. :o  

 

FTR, the point about wanting to supervise a 5 year old in the home of a playdate isn't what I was addressing.  I think the comment that 5 year olds living in a high-crime area are more dangerous is worthy of more discussion. In general I think the discussion of parent supervision is one that is *very* important for all parents and the subject is especially interesting and complex for "AP" parents. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fillyjonk View Post
 

I am sorry if you feel attacked, which was certainly the implication of the graphic you posted. But I think this is the wrong analysis. I think you posted something highly controversial, with real life implications for people, and it caused debate and disagreement. Have you looked at the other side of the argument? What do you specifically disagree with there?

 

I agree. And, I want to say that I did think about the other perspective here. To side a little with BB and others, I can say that I don't treat playdates with a man 100% the same as a woman. For instance, I'm sure I'm far, FAR more likely to ask about a father's spouse. I imagine this is a sort of solidarity gesture. So it's not this total "jealous side" "non-jealous side".  I happen to disagree but it's not like I don't understand where ya'll are coming from, BB, and others. 

 

Anyway, I thought this was a really interesting conversation, however, if people are feeling attacked, I will gladly go back through my posts and clarify or edit. Feel free to PM me if there is something I miss. :)


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#66 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 06:23 AM
 
beckybird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Shattered Paradigm
Posts: 1,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)

 Fillyjonk and IdentityCrisisMama, your posts were fine, but I definitely felt attacked by others. I don't appreciate the insinuation that I am sexist against SAHDs, or that I think women are jealous and irrational. 

 

Limabean asked if she should go to a playdate at the dad's house, and I gave my opinion. She obviously had a reservation about the idea, and wanted input from others. I gave my opinion on the matter, which is 100% valid.  I didn't say that a man and woman should not attend a playdate together. I just suggested that, until she knew the wife better, it might be better NOT to have the playdate at the house. The house! That's how I feel, and that's what I would do in a similar situation. I may be the only one here, but I would not be totally comfortable having a playdate in a man's house without knowing the wife first. Please don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling the way I do. You don't know anything about my history, or what experiences might have caused me to think this way. Limabean is an adult and can do whatever she wants, and I only offered my point of view.

 

If you knew me, you would realize how funny it is to assume I'm sexist against men. I'm the biggest tomboy I know. I tried to join the Boy Scouts when I was 11 because they were building birdhouses (they wouldn't let me in lol). I started practicing taxidermy at that age, and from there, have built a career. I deal almost exclusively with men, and they have to come to my house to drop off and pick up. Did you read that? Men come to my house all the time, all alone with me!  However, it is always in a professional manner, and I feel there is a clear distinction between professional and social interactions. I'm not suggesting men and women cannot be friends, but I would not feel comfortable spending time in a married man's home unless I knew his wife were ok with it. I would feel awkward spending time in his house without knowing if she minded. You can criticize me all you want, but that won't change how I feel! If I knew the wife, and felt she wouldn't mind, then I would go ahead with the playdate. Until then, it would be playdates in public for me! Does that make me a hypocrite--the fact that I have men come over my house, but I wouldn't want to go to a man's house until I knew his wife better?  Maybe so.


               "Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed, by the masses."

                ~Captain Hammer (j/k, it was Plato)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

beckybird is online now  
#67 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 06:39 AM
 
Mulvah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,971
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post
 

No, of course not. The thing is, and maybe that is what BB is feeling as well, is that a few really interesting points have been touched upon on this thread. Ones that other mothers have disagreed upon. Or, in my case they were points that I wanted to explore further.  But I certainly don't have any ill-will towards anyone here or think any of the things you said. :o  

 

FTR, the point about wanting to supervise a 5 year old in the home of a playdate isn't what I was addressing.  I think the comment that 5 year olds living in a high-crime area are more dangerous is worthy of more discussion. In general I think the discussion of parent supervision is one that is *very* important for all parents and the subject is especially interesting and complex for "AP" parents.

 

I was speaking specifically about supervising a playdate when your child is in a new (unknown) home, not the gender issue.  I guess that wasn't clear.  :Sheepish

 

In terms of the "5-year-olds living in a high-crime area are more dangerous" issue, I wrote a novella last night and deleted it because it was fairly personal.  I think it's reasonable that parents would be more cautious about unsupervised visits in high-crime areas.  I don't think it's always (or even often) about the other five-year-old child, but about the other people in the home, parents included.  I guess it depends on what your definition of "high-crime" is and your (general) experience, both as a child and adult.  I am fortunate to live in a very low-crime area, but because of my upbringing, I am protective, even living where I do.  I'm aware of the crime stats and how much safer my country is now (compared to when I grew up) and I'm also familiar with free-range parenting, but I will always do what I think is best for my family, even if it is the mainstream choice and even if it is the overly protective choice. 

Mulvah is offline  
#68 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 08:57 AM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)

Becky I understand your point and can agree with how you feel about the situation although I'm the only one you'll get any understanding from in here. 

 

The point with the children in a high crime area came from me saying that I didn't want my children gone off with unknown people to unknown homes/places and wanted to meet the family involved and see the house first as well as meet the kid. Some people found it offensive that I wanted to meet the child my kid would be playing with and made comments about me needing a background check and such because of it. I always like to see who my kids are around even if it is another child to play with. It's my job as a mother to be aware of who my kids are around and what kind of places they are going to especially when they're 5!!!!!! As far as danger and high crime areas YES even a 5 year old can be a criminal where I am. Over half the local area schools have high security fences, permanent police presence and metal detectors at entrances and on buses even at the elementary. There's a reason for it.

 

** And yes I'm aware that these children doing such things that young are suffering from bad/no parenting or guidance and it's not *their* fault but there's nothing I can do about that. 

BeckyBird likes this.

Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#69 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 09:02 AM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)

Oh and someone asked awhile back about SAHD. I will say I had overlooked the SAHD factor to begin with in this thread and wasn't considering that. Yes if a couple has made a decision for the dad to fill the mom's shoes then you would think that he would do so completely and the mom wouldn't need to be involved in school/.playdate issues. I have never met a SAHD before. That just doesn't happen where I live so that was a major factor in how I saw the situation. 

BeckyBird likes this.

Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#70 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 12:00 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

x

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyBird View Post
 

CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 85


Enjoy analyzing my opinion and telling me why I am wrong! I apologize for having a viewpoint that is different from the rest of the group.

What opinion was that again? I better reread the thread...

contactmaya is offline  
#71 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 01:20 PM
 
Mummoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,467
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

My kids were older when this happened, but I had a mom actually thank me for allowing my kids to go play at her house, while her husband was in charge. He wasn't a SAHD, but the parents worked different shifts and he was usually the one who picked the kids up from school. The mom felt that their kids' social lives had suffered as a result of their schedules because so many parents being unwilling to leave their child in a man's care.

 

Whenever I'm not sure about something like this, I usually just talk directly to the person about it, and I appreciate when others do the same with me. It makes things way less stressful, and builds your confidence in the other parents, if there is more communication. The most recent example of this is with my son, who is 12. He got invited to a local hockey game with a friend. I said okay, but I want to know the details, and offer to do the pick up after the game. I spoke to the dad (different family than above) and he was dropping the kids off at the game, and his wife would be arriving about halfway through the game then bringing them home. The dad had wanted to talk directly to one of my son's parents to get confirmation that that was okay, that felt good. Other things that have been discussed (or not) have been the chioce of a movie. parents vary greatly in what they allow their kids to watch. Once a mom had told me to make sure my daughter packed her swim suit for a sleepover, so they could go swimming and then my daughter told me the mom had gone grocery shopping while her and her friendwere at the pool. If the mom had checked with me I would have said no at the time. She was just 8 and it was a pool she hadn't been to before. That was one of the experiences we had that made me realize more talking is always better. 


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

Mummoth is offline  
#72 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 03:08 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,634
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
Originally Posted by BeckyBird View Post

 

If you knew me, you would realize how funny it is to assume I'm sexist against men.  

FTR, I never thought that!  I'm one of those annoying people who probably doesn't even think sexism against men exists. ;-)   I worried that we get into gender role issues, which we do see some of in the comment about fathers caring for children being referred to as "filling the mom's role".  But, mainly, for me it comes down to what I believe is genuine concern for (what would be me in the scenario) that I just really wouldn't want.  And some vague idea of how hard it is to be a SAHD (and they have been around in every city I have ever lived or visited) and that we may want to look into any obstacles we put in their way.  

 

CM, I live in Baltimore (home of the Wire...which actually does not represent our city well at all but adds nice dramatic effect here).  How people view crime in our city ranges quite a bit...but I am happy to report that 5 year olds are still regarded as children in my city. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post
 

My kids were older when this happened, but I had a mom actually thank me for allowing my kids to go play at her house, while her husband was in charge. He wasn't a SAHD, but the parents worked different shifts and he was usually the one who picked the kids up from school. The mom felt that their kids' social lives had suffered as a result of their schedules because so many parents being unwilling to leave their child in a man's care.

 

To empathize with BB and others, I will share that this story reminds me of another way that I used to treat fathers and mothers differently during playdates. I can remember when we were in that more protective stage (when kids were like 3-8 years).  When I would have a child at my home and would want to run an errand, leaving the kids with my DH, I always wondered what the best call was in this situation.  We rarely clarified which adult was watching the kids so it always felt weird to me to "ask" if I could leave someone's kids with my DH.  It felt like I was assuming the family was distrustful and it also felt really crappy to my DH.  


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#73 of 81 Old 01-28-2014, 05:22 PM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)

IdentityCrisis - I can see where the idea of a dad *filling a mom's role* might seem strange to you especially from Maryland. I spent a few months living there for dh's job about a year ago and it tends to be a pretty progressive area... .at least compared to mine. I quite enjoyed my time there and never felt unsafe anywhere we went. I live in a much less progressive area and people here would still see caring for children as the moms job and working as dads. That's just how it works here. I actually worked while dh stayed home for a bit when dd was just a baby and he was working on training for his job. I can't tell you how many comments I got about not being home with my baby and *supporting him*. That was his job as a man and I was crazy to stay with him if he *wouldn't do his job.* Yeah.... definitely different than most areas now days. SAHDS just don't happen here. Women tend to think of that as a bad thing even if it isn't the standard american viewpoint anymore.

 

I never said that children aren't regarded as children here. There are unfortunately children, even at a very young age, being involved in dangerous crimes in this area though. It's terrible and saddens me to no end. There are many programs popping up in an attempt to help and our school actually did a charity drive just last week to help promote a program for such children. Regardless of the crime potential though my original comment was simply that I wanted to meet the friend my child would be playing with. This was attacked because I must have needed a background check if I wanted to meet/know the kid at all other than my kid saying hey I want to go off to play with X. Apparently some parents see no reason to meet their kid's friends. Just because they're young children though doesn't mean I'd be any less interested in meeting or getting to know my children's friends at 5 than I would at 15. 


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#74 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 07:58 AM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

 a

contactmaya is offline  
#75 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 08:01 AM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyms View Post 
Regardless of the crime potential though my original comment was simply that I wanted to meet the friend my child would be playing with. This was attacked because I must have needed a background check if I wanted to meet/know the kid at all other than my kid saying hey I want to go off to play with X. Apparently some parents see no reason to meet their kid's friends. 

I am the person who joked about getting a background check. I was responding to your comment that mentioned the possibility of a child being a bully, and that you wouldnt let your child  have a playdate with just anyone.

I personally wouldnt condone a playdate where i am not present,  with  a child i had never met, or parents i had never met. That just seems weird. I  have usually met the parents and the child. If i hadnt met the child ( i go out of my way to meet  school friends my children talk about), i would consider a playdate at my place, or a playdate at their place where i am attending.

I think we agree on that.

 

Maybe my response was  kneejerk reaction  to parents who dont allow playdates their children request because they dont like the parents or the child for some reason. (sometimes its pure prejudice)  Supervising playdates, especially at age 5, is pretty much the norm. My 5yo has gone the others childs house without me though.

 

My 8yo son once went on a sleepover with an old friend, but i found out later the couple had gone out and left my son and their daughter with a babysitter. I wasnt comfortable with that....

contactmaya is offline  
#76 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 10:41 AM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by contactmaya View Post
 

It isn't copying the text of your post for some reason?? Idk regardless...   if you meet the kids that your children play with and supervise initial playdates then that's no different than what I was saying so there was no need for the attack. I don't choose my kids friends for them or use prejudice to decide those things. The comment about the bully stemmed from a recent experience with my own son that sometimes it is wise to be a little more cautious even with little ones since my son had a "friend" try to strangle him. It never would have occurred to me with my daughter to think twice about her friends (honestly it still doesn't) but now I'm more cautious.


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#77 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 12:58 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,634
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyms View Post
 

I never said that children aren't regarded as children here. There are unfortunately children, even at a very young age, being involved in dangerous crimes in this area though. It's terrible and saddens me to no end. There are many programs popping up in an attempt to help and our school actually did a charity drive just last week to help promote a program for such children. 

 

I'm not sure how well I can articulate my thoughts on this subject so I'll be brief. I think that 5 year olds may well engage in dangerous acts. Biting, hitting, misuse of tools, come to mind right away. I think that all kids (and parents of kids) around this age should have the benefit of the doubt and that this behavior, while challenging and frustrating, not be referred to as criminal activity. The fact that we just don't refer to affluent 5 year olds struggling with behavior issues as "criminals" illuminates the point, I think. 

 

If you're talking about real crime, I'll admit that it's difficult for me to imagine what sorts of dangerous crimes the 5 year olds in your community are participating in. I'm going to assume that it involves them being coerced (because that is the only activity of this sort that I can even get my brain around). If a 5 year old is coerced into criminal activity, I consider them to be a victim of abuse. And, therefore, still not a criminal.  

 

I know it may seem like nit-picking but I think the way we talk about these very vulnerable members of our society is important. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#78 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 01:23 PM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post
 

 

I'm not sure how well I can articulate my thoughts on this subject so I'll be brief. I think that 5 year olds may well engage in dangerous acts. Biting, hitting, misuse of tools, come to mind right away. I think that all kids (and parents of kids) around this age should have the benefit of the doubt and that this behavior, while challenging and frustrating, not be referred to as criminal activity. The fact that we just don't refer to affluent 5 year olds struggling with behavior issues as "criminals" illuminates the point, I think. 

 

If you're talking about real crime, I'll admit that it's difficult for me to imagine what sorts of dangerous crimes the 5 year olds in your community are participating in. I'm going to assume that it involves them being coerced (because that is the only activity of this sort that I can even get my brain around). If a 5 year old is coerced into criminal activity, I consider them to be a victim of abuse. And, therefore, still not a criminal.  

 

I know it may seem like nit-picking but I think the way we talk about these very vulnerable members of our society is important. 

It is true that they are being coerced by others as I've never met a child that would just invent those things on their own without being influenced to do so. We do have 5 year olds here engaging in true criminal activity though... theft, weapons and drugs. Some aren't so extreme but are still vulgar with things like cussing and threatening people's lives. It's hard to explain the behavior that goes on here or even imagine that it's possible if you've never lived around it. It's sad and one of the main reasons I work everyday towards moving us away from here.


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#79 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 01:38 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,634
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)

Oh, no, I do think I can understand to some degree what you're describing. I think Baltimore probably has its share of youth behavior issues. I recently wrote to our district police commissioner over concerns I have with youth (pre-teen/teen) behavior in my city. He responded that they are working to provide opportunity and activities for this age group - proud moment for my city!  And you're right, although I don't think Baltimore is progressive in all that many ways, it certainly is progressive in terms of looking at poverty and related issues. Anyway, I hope you find your way to a better fit for your community. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#80 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 02:19 PM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 1,100
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 53 Post(s)

That's great about the programs in your area. We actually have a youth program offered free here for troubled youth of all ages and all types of "troubles" whatever the child may be dealing with. Our school just did a charity drive last week for "100 day" for the program. They're hoping to expand the program and reach out more. It's the only program I know of in the area but I hope with more community support it can get better results. 


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#81 of 81 Old 01-29-2014, 03:08 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,634
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)

I don't know too much about programs - though I'm sure we have many. (ETA: oh, you mean programs from my commissioner - yea, those would be great).  I meant a generally progressive attitude about poverty - whose problem it is, what factors come out of that, and etc. Though I will admit that my perception about how our residents approach this issue is obviously influenced by who I choose to hang out with.  Anyway, this is really off topic. If you want to chat about issues of raising kids where they are exposed to crime and how we handle that as parents, I'd love to join you on another thread. :) 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off