Light at the End of the Tunnel? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 01-27-2014, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If you have already raised a big family (3 or more kids) can you post some encouraging words.  Does it get any easier when you graduate beyond birth, breastfeeding, diapering, homeschooling...  Are you happy you had so many kids? Was it all worth it? How did your kids turn out? What do you think they would of been like if you had less or didn't live a crunchy lifestyle? 

 

Days are hard when I'm home with my 4 kids. 4 months to 9 years old.  I can sum it up that I'm absolutely certain I should of never had kids! And I'm absolutely certain I want 1, 2, 3, or 4 more! 

 

So if you've gone beyond these days of madness, I mean life with small children please share. 


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#2 of 5 Old 01-27-2014, 04:50 PM
 
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I just have two but wanted to send some happy thoughts from the other side, and at least address a small part of your question, about crunchier parenting.  We're mainstream about a lot of things, but very much gentle discipline, extended BF, AP, consensus-based.  Both of my sons are really intense (in different ways of course, lest I get the hang of it too easily) and high-interaction.  We really had some moments when they were growing up, and between their temperaments and our commitment, it was exhausting -- but both DH and I could have done a better job with self-care, so it's not all on being parents.  My sons are now 24 and 21, and wise, compassionate, hard-working, funny, individualistic, loving men.  Whatever DH and I did to contribute to that lies in the fact that crunchier parenting, IMO, gives people a chance to grow into the best of themselves. 


Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), an underachieving Bernese Mountain Dog (2006-2014), and an overachieving mother (1930).  Married to DH since 1986.
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#3 of 5 Old 01-27-2014, 09:23 PM
 
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I'm still in it! Similar demographics to you but two years ahead. #1 is 11 and #4 is 2.5 now. I see the end of the tunnel but because we are solidly never ever having any more children. :p I'm done with diapers and nursing now, OMG those two things alone are huge. No more pregnancies to worry about. I can move on with the next phase of my life. All things that I couldn't say for so many years. We no longer home school and haven't in quite some time which is another weight off my shoulders. We have a crazy, hectic, noisy life. I enjoy it most days now which is an improvement over a couple years ago when I just was drowning in a endless sea of diapers which I am just guessing is where you are at. 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#4 of 5 Old 01-28-2014, 09:16 AM
 
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Yes!  It gets easier. 

 

and harder.

 

Less physical.  Slightly less constant.  Less feeling like you might ruin them at anytime because you snapped at them.  Or served a dinner of leftover lunch.  Or can't get a handle on the diaper rash.  Or they are 7 and still sleeping in your bed.  I shower regularly!

 

But busier.  more shuffling and juggling and making things fit in the schedule.  More servant-ish  (Maybe that is just where I am right now.  Kids are so busy with activities and interests that I sorta do all the grunt work.  I love that they have interests and work hard at what they do.  So I do everything I can to allow them a few minutes of down time.  That will change come summer when everything comes to a screeching halt.  Then they can pick up more chores!)

 

I never wanted a large family, but the youngest are twins and that put us on the cusp of large family.  I'm more content with that now than I've ever been (I was rather resentful for a while) and I imagine it will only get better.

 

 

(I think my signature has kids ages but there are 4 of them ages 6-13.)


Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#5 of 5 Old 01-28-2014, 06:06 PM
 
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We have six from 2-11.  Yes, it does get easier.  The older ones become independent.  They can go outside on their own.  They can shower and get ready for bed on their own.  Sure it is hard for these years but they will grow older and I will be very happy that we have a large family with large family gatherings. :)  We are considering having another soon.  We'll see.

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