Would you stay with your partner - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-04-2014, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
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If while in a mentally unstable stated assaulted your child and caused them severe brain damage? This came up recently and though the whole situation is just the saddest most terrible thing. I am shocked the woman is staying with him as it was due it's mental illness. What would you do?
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#2 of 7 Old 03-04-2014, 10:04 PM
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Regardless of mental instability or not....it is abuse.  It is very sad.  It is sad that she committed herself to him and had children.

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#3 of 7 Old 03-04-2014, 11:46 PM
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I don't think I could stay with someone who hurt my child and might do so again... but it's so hard to know what you would do in a situation until you've been there.

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#4 of 7 Old 03-05-2014, 01:57 AM
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I think it would depend on what "mentally unstable" actually meant. If it was an acute psychotic episode or something similar with an identifiable and treatable cause and my partner was committed to maintaining the treatment regime forever then I would certainly not rule it out.

If "mentally unstable" means personality disorder, drug addiction with no motivation for change or something similarly intractable then, no, I like to think I would not stay.

I guess it would also depend on how brain-damaged my child was and how old they were. If it was mild and they were young and living with their father would be traumatic then probably not. If it was severe and left them with no ability to recognise who they were living with or if it was mild but they were grown up and living away from home, maybe yes.

It's a complicated situation. I don't think there is one right answer.

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#5 of 7 Old 03-06-2014, 06:27 PM
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no, i wouldn't.

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#6 of 7 Old 03-06-2014, 07:51 PM
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I'm with katelove. It's too vague to say, and it's a complex issue. Mental disorders can range from 'doing one really terrible thing due to a mental break that in retrospect had lots of warning signs and is eminently preventable if looked out for', to 'permanently unreliable'. 


Horrible situation though. :(

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#7 of 7 Old 03-07-2014, 09:28 AM
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This is actually up for discussion?  Severe brain damage and she is staying with such a monster?


The bastard that harmed a child should never be allowed to have any contact with that child ever again.


No, as the child's only protector, I would owe it to my child to keep them safe and away from any abuser.


If this woman is really standing by her man, then she should have no contact with the child either.  In staying with him, she is not protecting the child.


Child abusers do not deserve a second chance.

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