Did You Celebrate Mother's Day Growing Up? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 05-07-2014, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't grow up celebrating Mother's Day; it just wasn't done where I come from.  That said, I do enjoy whatever effort my kids and DH put into celebrating the day and it does feel special to me now.  This got me wondering -- how many of you Mamas grew up celebrating mother's day?  Was it a big deal to your mother?  Do you still do something special for your mom now?  

 

 

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#2 of 26 Old 05-07-2014, 03:26 AM
 
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We didn't celebrate it but my children like to. They make me a card and draw/color pictures for me. It wasn't real important as I was growing up. I will talk to my mother and tell her how much she means to me on that day though. It will be a new start of celebrating on that day now because it means a lot to my children.
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#3 of 26 Old 05-07-2014, 04:59 AM
 
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Yes, I grew up celebrating Mother's Day. We usually did brunch, small gifts from us kids, and something a little bigger from my dad. I'd usually pick a big bouquet of wild flowers and make a card and when I got older I'd usually get my mom earings or something like that.

For me, my kids make me cards, though over the last couple of years my middle son has saved some of his money to get me a gift. My eh and boys make me breakfast in bed with mimosas and then we do something like taking a hike or going fishing for the day.
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#4 of 26 Old 05-08-2014, 01:44 PM
 
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We would do homemade cards and flowers picked from the garden for my mom as a kid. I still get her (and MIL) a small gift -- something like flowers, a book, or take them to lunch, along with a card.

My kids give me handmade cards and help DH make breakfast, and DH usually gets me a couple of small gifts. For our mothers and for myself, we mark Mother's Day but it's a very low-key holiday.

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#5 of 26 Old 05-08-2014, 02:17 PM
 
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I grew up celebrating it. I would make a card and buy my mom some flowers/decorations for the garden. Sometimes I would get her jewelry.

As an adult, I've done less for my mom on Mother's Day. I think she wants me to make a big deal about it (I'm an only child, so no one else will pick up the slack), but I'm not very fond of the holiday.


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#6 of 26 Old 05-08-2014, 04:27 PM
 
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We celebrated it as a child and are more into it now. Holidays and birthdays are big family times for us.
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#7 of 26 Old 05-08-2014, 07:25 PM
 
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Interesting post. No. I didn't celebrate and didn't even know about it. And to an extent I hate it. Here's why: Dh has grown up celebrating it until he got into the "everything's commercial" so nothing needs to be celebrated concept. He doesn't do anything as such but at least he calls and wishes his mom but has never wished me even though once I was sitting right there hearing him wish his mother. :irked This year to my surprise he informed me when Mother's Day was (I was totally unaware of the date) and wanted to know if I'd like to go out to dinner as his parent's had suggested it. Still not his idea but by now I just don't really care. I have to say though that there was also this conflict in my mind where I never wished anyone because I've never celebrated it and somehow didn't feel obligated to. OTOH, dd's getting more and more into it. I think I'll look forward to doing something calm with her in the future just the 2 of us but that's about it.


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#8 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 07:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It is fun to read these responses.  I am glad I am not the only one that grew up without celebrating but enjoy it now.  @Neera  Even if I didn't grow up celebrating it, I think I'd be pretty peeved in your situation of sitting beside my DH while he wished happy mother's day to his mom but not to me.  Have you talked to him about how you feel? I get the whole "everything is too commercial" protest but it doesn't have to be commercial at YOUR house, kwim?  You can take the best bits and make it meaningful without it becoming too much of a chore for anyone -- just another pleasurable family event. 

 

@mamapigeon Curious, why are you not fond of the holiday anymore? It sounds like you grew up celebrating it and it meant something to you.

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#9 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 08:29 AM
 
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Yes. Several times. I have told him that even the ancient people believed in celebration (anything the ancient people did always seems right to him.) Not celebrating anything including birthdays, wedding anniversaries kind of makes your life a bigger routine than it already is. According to him every day of life should be celebrated. Having said that recently he says I should live in the present moment and that at present he is remembering dates and trying to do something. I don't know. So many years later I just don't enjoy the celebrations. I do feel I pushed him into it and his heart is really not there. Anyways, Happy Mother's day to you. :)

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#10 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 08:53 AM
 
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Grew up celebrating it.  I'm an only child, and my parents were pretty critical, needy, and controlling; looking back, it was just one more occasion where I'd be trying to appease, KWIM?  When I became a mom and the kids were still at home, they'd make something in school -- construction paper flowers! -- and I always loved that.  We raised them to participate in the gift-giving for my mother and MIL, sign the card, draw a picture, things like that, but I never wanted it to be a big deal for me.  Just not comfortable having an external label given to the occasion -- and that's my own introversion more than an objection to people celebrating the holiday.

 

DH would always make a moment to mark the occasion for me, sometimes with a gift, but he knows the holiday makes me itchy so he just says something nice and goes out of his way to do things for me, maybe take me out to eat.

 

For MIL it's a card, and for some reason a sheet of very pretty stamps.  My mother lives with us now, so it'll be a nice dinner together here at home.

 

Now DS1 and DS2 may say something, but it's because they'd see the Google doodle when they get online that day.  :p


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#11 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 10:52 AM
 
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@mamapigeon Curious, why are you not fond of the holiday anymore? It sounds like you grew up celebrating it and it meant something to you.
 

The gift giving thing makes me a bit grumpy. If I give something to my mom she says, "Oh, you didn't have to give me anything! A card would have been enough." I've tried that... When I only get her a card I hear, "So-and-so's children got her x. It must be nice to be appreciated..."  I hate passive-aggressive behavior and don't want to deal with it anymore.

I don't really want my own children go along with a set holiday to appreciate me, I'd rather feel it in a spontaneous hug or kiss.

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#12 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 05:18 PM
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My mom used it as guilt-trip day (when I was a teenager/young adult).  I'd say happy mother's day, and she would say,  "If you really wanted to honor me, you'd ___________________."  (Fill in the blank.  Go to church, stop dating that guy, whatever.)   So it's still a tough day for me.  


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#13 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 06:50 PM
 
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My mom used it as guilt-trip day (when I was a teenager/young adult).  I'd say happy mother's day, and she would say,  "If you really wanted to honor me, you'd ___________________."  (Fill in the blank.  Go to church, stop dating that guy, whatever.)   So it's still a tough day for me.  

Yuck!  That's awful! :Hug


 
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#14 of 26 Old 05-09-2014, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The gift giving thing makes me a bit grumpy. If I give something to my mom she says, "Oh, you didn't have to give me anything! A card would have been enough." I've tried that... When I only get her a card I hear, "So-and-so's children got her x. It must be nice to be appreciated..."  I hate passive-aggressive behavior and don't want to deal with it anymore.

I don't really want my own children go along with a set holiday to appreciate me, I'd rather feel it in a spontaneous hug or kiss.


I agree. It is no fun when it is not taken in the spirit it is intended, be it a simple card or a present.  

 

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My mom used it as guilt-trip day (when I was a teenager/young adult).  I'd say happy mother's day, and she would say,  "If you really wanted to honor me, you'd ___________________."  (Fill in the blank.  Go to church, stop dating that guy, whatever.)   So it's still a tough day for me.  

 

Wow! :angry 

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#15 of 26 Old 05-10-2014, 06:42 PM
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We celebrated it growing up.  My mom always felt obligated to do things the way her mom wanted it.  This made certain holidays feel staged, and I didn't really enjoy them.  It continued for many years--even as I have been a mother.  Sometimes that made me feel weird, as if I was giving in too.  However, I was only being invited, not expected to run the show.  So, mother's day could be enjoyable.  Last year, my oldest and I  were out of town for mother's day and it was the best one ever.  The girls took it upon themselves to make it special for me even though I would only be with one of them.  Come to think of it, my girls are VERY good at this type of thing.  I have never expressed an "expectation" from them and their gifts always are from the heart.  Dh will get me something too, but his are usually there (I suspect) so he doesn't get "in trouble."  That wouldn't be from me--his work crew let him know if he drops the ball.  Fortunately, it is all in fun, but I know that he doesn't want to be seen as an uncaring husband.  Anyways, since I was out of town last year, I took my mom out for lunch and gave her a small gift before I was gone.  It turns out that my mom prefers that so we will celebrate by spending some time together next week and she will do the thing for my grandma tomorrow.  As for me, my family asked what I wanted to do and we are doing it!  I have been wanting to do a particular bike ride so we will ride it together.  I also bought some berries, etc for breakfast.  My youngest has told me that she is preparing my breakfast and I am supposed to read in bed until she serves it to me.  :-)  I think it will be a great day.  We will enjoy time together and it won't be centered around a feast with an icky dessert.  

 

Amy

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#16 of 26 Old 05-11-2014, 02:34 PM
 
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Dad used to give Mom petunias for Mother's Day. They're divorced now so last year I asked my middle little brother to give them to Mom (I am several states away and he is still in the same state). This year they were on sale so she bought some for herself, and my youngest brother and his girlfriend sent flowers to Mom. I sent her a card.


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#17 of 26 Old 05-11-2014, 06:31 PM
 
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Dad used to give Mom petunias for Mother's Day. They're divorced now so last year I asked my middle little brother to give them to Mom (I am several states away and he is still in the same state). This year they were on sale so she bought some for herself, and my youngest brother and his girlfriend sent flowers to Mom. I sent her a card.

 

Does she still like petunias? My parents were married only briefly (about 5 years) and my dad used to give my mom daffodils. After the divorce, she couldn't stand those things any more. 

 

We did celebrate Mother's Day in the simple ways that a kid of divorced parent's do - with cards and gifts from school. My school used to do a "marketplace" before Mother's Day with small token gift items that kids could buy with, if I recall correctly, "school dollars" that were earned through out the year in various ways (good behavior, grades, etc.). 


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#18 of 26 Old 05-11-2014, 06:51 PM
 
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Yes, she still likes petunias. I'm sorry your parents were married for less time than mine (mine were married almost 30 years, darnit).

 

My children were sweet today. My husband bought me a book from the church bookstore after Mass, and I took a nap after lunch - my children were driving me nuts. When I woke up they were cleaning the kitchen table and floor, and my oldest had left a note on my lap asking if she could make a fruit cake. It was delicious.

 

When my children went to the nearby private school last school year (2012-2013), they had a classroom dollars system, too.


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#19 of 26 Old 05-11-2014, 07:05 PM
 
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I'm sorry your parents were married for less time than mine (mine were married almost 30 years, darnit).

 

Oh, don't be. They hated each other like poison and were 100% toxic together. I couldn't imagine what my life would've been like if they'd stuck it out for 30 years! ;-)


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#20 of 26 Old 05-12-2014, 07:11 PM
 
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I honestly don't remember. I remember that I have sent cards and gifts since becoming an adult, but have no memory of what we did before. I remember watching sitcom characters celebrate.
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#21 of 26 Old 05-13-2014, 06:01 AM
 
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This Mother's Day turned out to be with the least 'drama.'  There was no contrived wish from dh And I got Roses from fil. Dd was at their place and he was buying for mil so dd asked him if he could buy some for me too. He was happy to. And then we had the dinner suggested by inlaws. Of course dh or his brother should have been buying flowers for mom but I can't change the whole world. Lol. Inlaws actually take care of 1 and have taken care of 2 other of bil's kids full time until they were off to full time school so it was a little sad that fil was taking her out and buying her stuff. I never realized something that could be kept so simple is such a pain for so many of us.


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#22 of 26 Old 05-13-2014, 05:17 PM
 
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When I was a child there was a custom of wearing a pink carnation to church to honor your mother if she was living and a white carnation if she was deceased. My mother and grandmother had a little box of crocheted carnations which they got out on Mother's Day. I remember how sad my mother was the first year she wore her white carnation.

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#23 of 26 Old 05-14-2014, 02:37 PM
 
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I just have to share a funny Mother's Day story from this year.  Apparently Dh had been trying to encourage the boys to make me a card, but they had forgotten.  So I heard him saying, "You've had all day!  I thought you had already done it."  At which point, my middle son, came stamping into the kitchen, threw open the craft cabinet and started grabbing things out of it.  I calmly asked, "What are doing?"  He replied, "I'm making you a freaking card!"  I burst out laughing so hard.  I told him that I couldn't wait to see it, and then he burst out laughing too.  Ahhh, the joys of being a mother!

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#24 of 26 Old 05-14-2014, 03:54 PM
 
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I just have to share a funny Mother's Day story from this year.  Apparently Dh had been trying to encourage the boys to make me a card, but they had forgotten.  So I heard him saying, "You've had all day!  I thought you had already done it."  At which point, my middle son, came stamping into the kitchen, threw open the craft cabinet and started grabbing things out of it.  I calmly asked, "What are doing?"  He replied, "I'm making you a freaking card!"  I burst out laughing so hard.  I told him that I couldn't wait to see it, and then he burst out laughing too.  Ahhh, the joys of being a mother!

Too funny!


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#25 of 26 Old 05-14-2014, 04:11 PM
 
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I just have to share a funny Mother's Day story from this year.  Apparently Dh had been trying to encourage the boys to make me a card, but they had forgotten.  So I heard him saying, "You've had all day!  I thought you had already done it."  At which point, my middle son, came stamping into the kitchen, threw open the craft cabinet and started grabbing things out of it.  I calmly asked, "What are doing?"  He replied, "I'm making you a freaking card!"  I burst out laughing so hard.  I told him that I couldn't wait to see it, and then he burst out laughing too.  Ahhh, the joys of being a mother!

 

That's even better than a card! :heartbeat

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#26 of 26 Old 05-15-2014, 06:03 PM
 
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No. I didn't grow up around my mother. I don't celebrate it now generally but this year my mother was in the hospital so I ordered her a necklace

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