I need hugs and support - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 06-23-2014, 10:44 AM - Thread Starter
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I need hugs and support

I have no idea where to place this post so here I am.

My eldest son is being diagnosed as having an auditory processing disorder. He's also gifted. So I'm learning as much as I can and trying to implement things to help him and us function as a family.

I'm a concert violinist and educator. I'm in the process of losing my hearing. I had hearing loss as a kid, regained a bunch of it and now it's disappearing again. And quickly.

I've seen the audiologist who is incredible. So thorough. The results from my bone conductivity scan are not where they should be considering that I'm in my early 30's. My cilia (the small hairs in my inner ear) are wearing out and I've lost the hearing for low frequency and high frequency. I only have hearing for the middle frequencies.

My DH and I aren't discussing any of this. I know it's all going to be me and how I change things. My DH is supportive but doesn't really get all this and is totally overwhelmed. So rather than being proactive, he's being passive and letting me take the lead.

I have so many questions about DS's condition as well as my own.
I'm teaching myself and our 3 kids ASL and it's going very well. Very helpful for my DS and the boys. It's funny as volume increases for all of us then we all start signing and it's quiet

Loving wife to DH partners.gif mama to DS1 3/13/09 sleepytime.gif, DS2 4/20/11 diaper.gif and expecting baby #3 in January! 3rdtri.gif

Professional violin.gifand attempting to computergeek2.gif while cd.gif femalesling.GIF learning.gif hang.gif knit.gif

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#2 of 9 Old 06-23-2014, 11:02 AM
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Hugs to you. It must be a confusing and emotional time. (((organicviolin)))
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#3 of 9 Old 06-23-2014, 02:48 PM
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Many many hugs! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. As far as finding out about setting things up with your son, I'd say post in the special needs parenting forum. My son also has an auditory processing disorder and there are a lot of great ideas over there.

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#4 of 9 Old 06-24-2014, 03:34 AM
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Sorry you are facing all these challenges and sending you a hug!
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#5 of 9 Old 06-24-2014, 11:57 AM
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Sorry for the challenges you are facing. DD1 has a mild APD and it's challenging at times but we make it work with some accommodations. Some years are better than others. Luckily her schools have been great with dealing with it. Our largest challenge is getting MORE testing for it at this point. We're pretty sure DH has it too, unknown until we started looking into her issues and it means he is often passive when dealing with things too. Partly because he just has a really hard time putting what I say and mean together in his brain. I need to give him time to think it over and process it. Honestly it seems to effect every person a little differently and DD does great at school (with simple classroom accommodations and a sound field system), but struggles more at home (as I type she's having a hard time understanding what her sister is saying while they are noisily cleaning up lego ).

However I would think your own struggles are going to be the harder ones to deal with. I think working on everyone learning ASL now is great. Hopefully you can find some inner peace with your own struggles mama and keep up that positive attitude! Hopefully your DH will come around soon, mine would hate it if I was struggling and it could affect the way he was dealing with it. Maybe give him a bit of space and then talk about it again...

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#6 of 9 Old 06-24-2014, 02:31 PM
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Hugs and best wishes to you and your family!

Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), an underachieving Bernese Mountain Dog (2006-2014), and an overachieving mother (1930).  Married to DH since 1986.
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#7 of 9 Old 06-24-2014, 09:08 PM
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Your state should have a commission or council for the deaf and hard of hearing. This may be a great place to learn about services that are aavailable so you are prepared to access them if your continue to loss hearing.
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#8 of 9 Old 06-24-2014, 11:14 PM
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Just wanted to say -

Growing up, my life was greatly enriched by the experience that my mom was deaf , my step-father was legally blind (partial vision in only one eye), and my step-mother was paraplegic (polio victim/survivor). All these amazing people contributed to my understanding of the diversity of human abilities. Just wanted to put a positive spin on the grief you must be rightfully feeling right now.

Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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#9 of 9 Old 07-08-2014, 08:10 PM
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Sending hugs
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