Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Tel Aviv Israel (not politically aligned) / Pittsburgh, Pa
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ok, so, im really bad at following the news, but i am getting this feeling inside (i think its mothers instinct) that things are about to get crazy again here.... does it seem that way to anyone else? im so caught up in my own stuff that I lose track of whats going on outside of my apartment. Since the summer, my husband and I have lost the support of international artists and have not been able to work at curators, so I picked up my old DSLR and started doing some portrait work. Just when I started to think "ok good, great, Im making a minor income here" my camera goes ahead and breaks. It was an old Sony Alpha 100 that had many problems, but when the shutter release broke, taking pictures became impossible, not just difficult. My diapers have all fallen apart, again, and i think its because my boys have very strong urine. I have an electricity bill from the summer i still have not been able to pay, and a long distance phone bill (from all the calls to the states when there were air raids) that i wasnt able to pay and now my bank account is frozen and they want to sue me. all i want to do is make enough money to get out of here so that i can have the chance to provide a good life for my kids, where i dont have to keep saying 'no' to every question because i cant afford it, weather it be a new toy, or a winter coat, new shoes, or even a trip to the local amusement park.... i get so caught up with what i cant do or what i need to work towards, and i get nothing accomplished in a day. with the 4 kids with me, all i seem to accomplish is the basics,barely, like laundry, diapers, food, etc, and even those are never really done... i always have a pile of dishes in my sink, heaps of laundry (and im not sure why since nobody has any clothing that fits them aside from the babies), the floors are filthy, and i only have like 5 working lightbulbs, the other outlets use bulbs that are pretty expensive. Im just feeling so pathetic, like i should be able to handle all of this and make enough money to give my kids what they need. how am i supposed to do that with no means to make a living? Im sorry, i just needed to get some of that off my chest. I dont have friends to talk to, my husband is difficult to talk to about this (not very helpful), and i dont talk to anyone over 6 years old. My biggest fear is that what happened this summer will happen again before I can leave and I need to do whatever i can to keep them safe. I would be less scared if i had a bomb shelter in my building... but who wants to live in a place where they only feel safe if they have a bomb shelter? uch, theres so much more, but i dont want to have an even bigger pity party. at the moment, what i need the most is diapers and covers, a working DSLR and flash, and the biggest thing: a way to leave here and the means to start somewhere else. *huge sigh* again, sorry for ranting......
Be Good Family =)
Last edited by 4GreenBabies; 02-20-2015 at 06:52 AM.
Reason: accidentally pressed post before i was done writing