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-   -   Dirty Stories (no, not those kinda stories!) (http://www.mothering.com/forum/16-talk-amongst-ourselves/153933-dirty-stories-no-not-those-kinda-stories.html)

Kharen 06-06-2004 04:36 PM

Greetings, Domestic Goddesses!

I am fairly new here, but I have noticed that many MDCers have a tendency to beat themselves up because they're unhappy with the level of housecleaning they (and their partners !) are able to accomplish. Rather than reproach ourselves, let's make ourselves feel better by sharing some stories of filth. The unfortunate souls who will serve as examples of what happens when chaos is allowed to ensue in your home should remain annonymous, and definitely don't share stories of any MDCers you may know IRL (Mavournin, remember when you were here I was still unpacking!!! )

I shall start ...
We have often stayed at the home of my dh's mentor, a wonderful and brillant person, but a horrible housekeeper. A true naturalist (which I can admire and respect), his home is constantly open to any little creature who may venture in. It is hard to determine where his house ends and the wilderness begins, for the dirt is evenly distributed between the two! One day, while we were visiting (and God forgive me, I brought a bottle of Fantastic and paper towels along to clean the guestroom and bathroom : ), he told us how his stove had caught on fire the week previous. When we asked him why, he explained he hadn't used it (or cleaned it) in about 8 months, and in that time MICE had built a NEST in his stove, and it had caught on fire when he was trying to bake a lasagna we were supposed to eat while we stayed there! Now that's a nasty stove!

See how that works .. Feel better .. yeah, me neither ... I'm gonna go clean my stove now.

Anyone else want to try?

Domestic-deity-in-training,
Kharen

Mavournin 06-06-2004 04:54 PM

Okay, that's just nasty. Did you eat that lasagna?

(And girl shut up - your house is spotless. Look at me, I moved in 6 months ago and I can't find squat in all this confusion)

Okay, I had a friend who got his first apartment and invited us all over to check it out. The apartment itself wasn't so bad, just kinda run down - but that's what you get when you live on the cheap. It had these really dated kitchen appliances, and when I was poking around I noticed these dark things between the plastic and the metal on his stove where the clock was. (Think those old ranges with the dial clocks.) When I looked closer - yup dead cockroaches! He then told me that he had duct taped the front of the oven (where the glass was) so he didn't have to see the roaches stuck in there too. :Puke

LuvMy2Kidz 06-06-2004 05:01 PM

DH's childhood friend's sister finally "cleaned" her kitchen, and I'm talking it'd been at least 2 years since it'd been done. They found a shed snake skin on the counter under all the crap piled up. :

Kharen 06-06-2004 05:04 PM

Oh, yuck! Gotta love that duct tape! If I can't see it, it isn't there ... Ha!

No, I didn't eat the lasagna, although our host did ask one of his other students to bake it for him in her oven, so we could *enjoy* it at a party he was hosting while we were there. Couldn't bring myself to try the mouse-nest-roasted goodness of it all.

Any more dirty stories, girls?

momto l&a 06-06-2004 05:18 PM

Ok my house is clean. :LOL

Dh had a part time job once cleaning apartments. :Puke Nasty, filthy. :Puke

Alkenny 06-06-2004 05:23 PM

My cousin lost her little girl (6 years old) just the other day. She'd fallen asleep and she couldn't find her, her house is THAT dirty (and yes, she was in plain sight...under a blanket, but still!)

My step-dad's sister has always been FILTHY...when she'd remember to put her trash out to the curb, you could see the roaches crawling on the inside of the bag. She made her nephew a birthday cake once, and we KNEW there'd been roaches in her oven. Extra protien anyone? :Puke

Kharen 06-06-2004 06:09 PM

OMG ... it's working ... my house is looking cleaner and cleaner!

Mmmm ... mouse-nest-roasted cockroach birthday cake with shed-snake-skin shavings? Sorry, the fumes from my cleaning products must be messing with my head.

Why are some of these stories making me laugh (that's not the right response--right?)?

fourgrtkidos 06-06-2004 06:23 PM

I have an aunt who likes to hoard things. My house gets messy, and when ever I het really overwhelmed I think of her house and I feel a little better. At first stuff was just piled so you couldn't get into her walk in closet. Then as a child I remember there was only a path from her bedroom door to her bed, then you couldn't get into her room. Then one spare room got piled up, then when her daughter who is 2 years older than me left home her room got piled up. Now you can't walk down the hallway going to the bedrooms. She sleeps on the couch. So much junk and stuff piled to the ceiling that she can't use over half of the house!!!! Can you say fire hazard!!!!

Alkenny 06-06-2004 06:40 PM

Reminds me...I saw this somewhere awhile back. Looks like my step-grandma's house!

Click Here Make sure and scroll down to the pics. *LOL*

Penelope 06-06-2004 07:23 PM

OMG! Those pictures made me want to cry. What an unholy mess.

That said, my mom offered to pay for a cleaning lady for me. I am ashamed of not being able to keep my house clean myself, and I caved. Holy goodness, did those two ladies clean my house... it has never been so clean. Wow. And they're coming back in two weeks...

Parker'smommy 06-06-2004 08:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkenny
Reminds me...I saw this somewhere awhile back. Looks like my step-grandma's house!

Click Here Make sure and scroll down to the pics. *LOL*

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leetah987 06-06-2004 09:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkenny
Reminds me...I saw this somewhere awhile back. Looks like my step-grandma's house!

Click Here Make sure and scroll down to the pics. *LOL*
This looks like how my mom's house looked. I had to go through everything when she died. We got one of the biggest U-Haul trucks, filled it up, and took it to the dump. Unloaded a bunch on friends, then were able to fill the truck again and bring it 1200 miles to get it home. I still have boxes in the basement that I haven't gone through.

That reminds me, ARC is coming wed, I gotta get down there and get some stuff out for them.

Mavournin 06-06-2004 11:29 PM

Oh that makes me feel SOOOOOOOOO much better about all the crap in my house. My DH is a umm... collector. But nothing like that.


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