What does hospitality mean to you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 07-15-2004, 06:26 PM - Thread Starter
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I've been wondering about this. Lately, my dh and I have invited several families over to eat with us, and some have said OK, but never came. Some came, but seemed to be uncomfortable. We only know one or two families who will come to our house, eat a meal with us, and stay to chat, and be comfortable the whole time! OTOH, when I needed a place to stay in Philadelphia, a friend of an aquiantance offered a room. We didn't know each other, but when I arrived, they were out and *had left the door open* for me. They have so many guests that they don't lock the doors anymore! Folks can come and go as they like. When the husband returned, he found I hadn't had supper, so he ran out and got Chinese for us. Just the whole experience had me speecheless. To be treated so well by virtual strangers!! I was inspired.

But it seems to be difficult sometimes to get people to *accept* hospitality! Some folks we know never sit down to eat with thier own families, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a sit-down supper, or even just afternoon tea would be odd to them.

And this is so different from dh's country, where if you stop at someone's house, you're basically forced to at least have tea and roasted grain, and you can expect to sit and talk for 20+ minutes, and have a *really* good excuse to not stay for supper!

I don't know the point of this post. Just rambling. But I'd love to see some thoughts on hospitality!
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#2 of 6 Old 07-15-2004, 06:32 PM
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I used to invite people. Noone ever came. I gave up and now panic at the idea of someone coming over. How do I act? What do I do?

My neighbor had an "open door"policy but we felt funny yet went with it. We never trusted this and eventually she went psycho on us-we were so afraid that us using that open door policy in the back would be used against us!

but I think nice people using pen door policies is AWESOME! My house was that way growing up-some of my friends never seemed to leave cause my Mom ALWAYS had so much food! lol
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#3 of 6 Old 07-15-2004, 06:40 PM
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my family from arkansas is very hospitable. show up to aunties house and you're in for a whole fried chicken dinner.
i remember as a kid everytime we came over she made us fried eggs and toast!
i love to have co. and when i do-it's tea and banana bread-or berry pie-if i'd had time to prepare.
we sit down together to eat every night.
usually when we have guests-it's more casual and we sit in the livingroom or outside.
i love to be a hostes and treat my guests to delights i've made-and send them home with some leftovers or freezer jam.
we have 2 different friends that love to have us over. and we love to go.
i always bring something to share-either a homemade cake or cobbler or salad and beans.
our favorite is rolling tamales with our spanish/chicano couple friends and getting a bunch to take home! mmmm...
i love to be hospitable. i got the guy who pumped our septic some tea and another who did some work for us a beer. they loved it!
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#4 of 6 Old 07-15-2004, 06:41 PM
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I guess that the most hospitable thing I can imagine is to really try to welcome and enjoy your guests. The fact that everyone had a wonderful time and felt welcomed and appreciated is the key, imo. The rest is just fluff.

I tend to be informal but I also try to do something a little special from time to time. Recently, a friend honored us by setting a really “fancy” table. We’re really close and are usually very casual but she said she just wanted to show us that we were special…that was sweet.

A great icebreaker is to include your guests with the preparations. Personally, I always feel much more comfortable if I’m put to work.

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#5 of 6 Old 07-16-2004, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
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Yeah, I love to play hostess, and I'm sad more people don't let me.

I am learning though, that hospitality can extend to my family though. If no one wants to eat dinner with us, I guess I can certainly give my husband the benefit of a well-set, carefully prepared meal.

I wonder if part of it is living in a time-obsessed culture. Rush, rush, everywhere, and even boiling water for tea seems to take too long.

Man, I wish I could be like that couple with the open door policy. I would love to be able to stun people with hospitality. You know, to know that I'm treating them so well and lovingly that they have to pick thier jaw up off the floor. To me, that would be so great!
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#6 of 6 Old 09-04-2014, 11:15 PM
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It's over a decade that you are trying to explore the meaning of the hospitality. I am happy to see that some traditions never changes either it's 2004 or 2014. Following are the few pillars of Hospitality.
Make sure to follow the family traditions. Like several of the families serve drinks for the guests.
It needs some creation from get to gather point of view means place, food and etc.
Make sure that serving of food is perfect. Like in most of families a sweet dish presents at the end.
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