Thank you both so much.
He just left.
Our son is sound asleep now, but he and his Dad had a good good-bye (plus Dad left him a note for when he wakes up.) SO and I had a good good-bye as well. Yes, there was a lot of crying. But for the last hours we just laid in bed, holding each other, talking and then being quiet and then talking again. We even managed to laugh a bit, which was a relief.
So. Now I focus long term on him coming home to us, safe and sound. And I focus short term on getting my child and myself through the days, with our emotional, physical and spiritual well-being well tended too.
Thank you again. I do have a pretty good RL support system...but I know it needs to be better and I"m working on that. Then I come here and it it truly amazing to me how women I've never met are so willing to be a support for me.