What do you do? Even when they're not aimed at you or your identity. Do you call people on it? Do you ignore it?
I'm not talking about when people make statements or jokes online, but when you are in the same room or on the phone. Does it matter who the speaker is? Does it matter if it's directed at you?
I was recently reminded of two incidents. The first one the speaker aimed his comments at my identity, but not at me. I spoke up. I was also surprised that no one else did, except a good friend of mine, who always speaks up. I was the only person of this identity in the room, and felt really alone at that moment.
The other incident was with a group of cousins. One of my cousins is married to a guy from Tunisia who is Muslim. Her brother was making jokes about "jihad!" and saying that his brother-in-law must be a terrorist, blah, blah, blah. He would not let it go. Most people, save my dh and me, and the Tunisian cousin--we'll call him S., were laughing (as was S's dw). S. was clearly uncomfortable. I told my cousin to shut up, but he wouldn't let it go. I was really surprised that S's wife didn't speak up. Later I asked her about it, and she said, "oh S. knows my brother was joking." I didn't think it was funny, and it didn't look like S. thought it was funny either.
I still wish I had been more vocal about it when my loudmouthed cousin wouldn't shut up, especially when his own dw laughed right along.
Sooo, do you speak up, or do you let things slide?