Who's your Dave? (super long and melodramatic) - Page 12 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-05-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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NO. WAY. That is just crazy :
I know.... IT IS CRAZY!

Trust me. We're both still very in shock over the whole thing. It's a pretty complicated situation and certainly one of those whole truth can be stranger than fiction deals.
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Old 12-05-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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I met my "Dave" when I was 12, after hearing about him for most of my life...

Short background explanation: His mom and my dad grew up in the same church. They were best friends. They stayed in touch even though they both moved to opposite coasts. So I grew up hearing about him and his little sister, as I'm sure they heard all about us. We really wanted to meet them, and one summer they came out to Vermont...

And we HATED one another. The next summer he came out to go to teen camp with me (run by our church). I got a big crush on him, but he got a "girlfriend" nearly the first day (consisting of holding hands, but still). The next summer he didn't go, but the summer after that he came to the annual Christian conference in PA. So we saw one another every summer...and it's very odd when you only see these friends once a year for exactly a week, it's like another world, I'm not sure how to explain it. Anyway, we were in the same clique, basically the losers, all we did all week was play Mao, this card game. And he had a crush on my friend Amber and vv, and I was jealous, but I knew he didn't feel the same way about me and he lived in CA anyway. Anyway, we were constantly in touch through email, and he graduated early and went to grad school at MIT where I would visit him...

...and we always flirted like mad and cuddled like crazy, and we'd finish one another's thoughts and sentances, and we'd talk for hours and hours. He spent one summer in Vermont and I introduced him to the joys of mj and dark beer. That summer he had a gf and though we flirted and cuddled all the time, I didn't want to mess that up for him so I refrained from having him cheat on his gf--I'm more honorable than that! Although he said he was sorely tempted. And when he went home, she dumped him for someone else.

We never dated. We never even kissed. We were like "soul mates" (a concept I don't really believe in, but that's the closest explanation). Lots of sexual tension and all that. Lots of always wanting to stay touching in some way, whether hands or toes or just fingers brushing against one another. The last time I saw him was my first summer in Alaska...I went down to LA to see him for a weekend. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me back, that he'd always loved me, but he was afraid that things would never be the same--that we'd never be able to go back.

Basically, he chickened out. But I mean...I hate LA. No way I'd move there. Not even for him. And he thinks AK is the sticks--which it is. I just talked to him again recently. He said he's been severely depressed for the past 3 yrs...which is why he hasn't been in touch with anyone. This is true. My mother knows all. Now he's back in school, at UCLA. He's getting his PhD in Finance and Micro-Economics.

DP knows a little bit about him, but DP is super jealous even when someone is not a threat. Would "Dave" be a threat if I saw him again? I don't know, because I don't know if those feelings will still be there. But I know I'll see him again...it's just always the way it seems to be...

SAHM to my wonderful constellationwild.gif 5/2006 & northern light bouncy.gif1/2009 fly-by-nursing1.giffambedsingle2.gifslingboy.gif
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Old 12-05-2007, 10:08 PM
 
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8
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Old 12-05-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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vwchick- thats freaky but really cool
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:03 PM
 
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Oh NO---this thread!! Again!!!?? You Must go away!!:
hee-hee
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Old 08-19-2008, 03:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Not a single post in 2008?


:
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Old 08-19-2008, 03:28 AM
 
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Woo-hoo! Mama G is back, and so is this thread!

(I contacted my "dave" last year, and totally got over it. It was awesome!)
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Old 08-19-2008, 04:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mama ganoush View Post
Not a single post in 2008?


:

hey babe!:

Visit the Holiday Helper thread and join in on the giving and fun! Loving and working with the plants. I have a store! or two!
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Old 08-19-2008, 04:11 AM
 
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my dave is marrying a mountain mama.

he was lovely.

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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Old 08-19-2008, 04:15 AM
 
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do tell deary.

Visit the Holiday Helper thread and join in on the giving and fun! Loving and working with the plants. I have a store! or two!
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Old 08-19-2008, 04:26 AM
 
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ya know how you picture the perfect guy?

i pictured him, irish, black curly hair, green eyes- funny.

Then- on st patricks day- a full moon- i met patrick.

we dated for a bit. he was just- lovely. Had a way of being very aloof - then making a grand gesture that would make me feel on top of the world.

But he always talked about how he dreamed of marrying a brown haired, brown eyed "rustic" type.

I had wild curly red hair.

we could talk woody guthrie and jack kerouac until the sun came up.

lame.

we quit talking after an unfortunate night of drunk emotional puking on my part.

i found him online- engaged to a brown haired brown eyed self described "mountain mama".

sigh.


good thing my dh is hot

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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Old 08-19-2008, 05:03 AM
 
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oh my, my "dave" was actually named dave too!

ugh. had a summer fling. moved away. called me alter and before we hung up said "i love you". then i hung up. never heard from him again.

i've moved on and all but, yeah, i still think about that. that was a fun summer!

: the sun is always shining here. loving life with DP and DS
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Old 08-19-2008, 10:08 AM
 
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There are a few for me, but it's not that I thought or even hoped we'd be together forever. It makes me sad because there were a few truly good guys that cared alot for me in my younger years that I blew off and dumped because I was shallow and immature, I guess. The first one's name was Prentice, I was in high school and he wrote me poetry. He was the only guy that did that and it made me feel really on the spot and uncomfortable. And of course everyone teased me about it. He was cute and sweet, and I see that now, but at the time I couldn't handle being in the spotlight like that. Then along came a sleazy player type guy that kept our flirtation very discreet (perhaps because he had another girlfriend or two?) and told me I was beautiful and I fell for him and left the sweet guy behind.

The second one that really stands out was Eric. Totally sweet, helpful, cute, independent guy, but I was right out of high school and he was totally the settling down sort of guy and that scared the crap outta me. I've no doubt that whoever he married is probably very happy - and very lucky, but at the time I was incapable of getting in a serious relationship emotionally. I think it's best for him that we didn't last, but I feel really badly because I know I hurt him, too in the process.

Luckily I did end up with my perfect mate though and I don't have quite as many issues as I used to . I had a hugely abusive - physical and emotional - adopted father and I was in a rough place for a while. I've since realized that he's a lame, weak, insecure UA violation and that's helped me move on alot.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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All of my Daves are actually Daves as is my DH. I find this hilarious. The one I wonder about was my fiance in college. He's not so much the one that got away as me being curious if he's okay. He's been impossible to google because he has the same name as a rather famous artist and a character on an episode of Star Trek. Recently, I think I found something that showed he has married his high school girl friend. That made me happy.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:55 AM
 
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My Dave's name is Michael. I could never find him online. I tried and tried, but I guess I just can't figure out how to work those search engines :

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 08-19-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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I spend far too much time wondering if *I* am anyone's Dave.

I'm really pathetic.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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Old 08-19-2008, 07:43 PM
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New York Boy....sigh.

I was in New Orleans for a friend's bachelorette party. We went to Pat O'Brien's where the Hurricanes are potent and taste oh so good. Ran into a bachelor party from New York.

Eyes locked. Hands strayed. Next thing I know his soft lips were on mine and...the girls I was with decided to go somewhere else. Over the raucous din of music he gave me his phone number to save in my cell. I would call him later and we would meet again that night.

I must have transposed some numbers. I searched up and down Bourbon street in my bare feet looking for him (the heels on my hoochie mama boots had broken, so I just tossed them in a gutter somewhere). Never found him.

I was dating someone at the time (he was in a band with the groom-to-be) and I did feel a bit guilty about it. I called my boyfriend on the way home the next morning and told him what happened. All he asked was "Was he a good kisser?" and laughed about it. Yeah, I should have known he wasn't really in love with me right then. It was downhill from there...

And then he cheated on my with my psuedo-Dave-ette. Long story short, we were BFF's since 6th grade. Recently got back in touch and started hanging out ALL THE TIME. We had (and unfortunately, do still have) such a strong connection to each other. Not romantic, although an experimental night confirmed my suspicions about the two of them. No one ever got me like she did, and she says the same about me.

So, anyway, 4 years later, I'm married to the most wonderful man. She and my ex are married as well. Our babies are the same age. We see each other from time to time, and we say we want our friendship to work, but realistically I can't see it happening. I miss her dearly, even though she betrayed me horribly. Weird, eh?

ah well...that's my story!
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Old 08-19-2008, 09:02 PM
 
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Ahh... my Dave was a Matt lol
We met while our families were camping when we were 12/13 and found out that we were going to be going to the same Jr. High So, we had a few fun weekends of flirting while we were out camping. But, when we got to Jr. High it was just the occasional "Hi"

Fastforward a few years. We're now 15/16 and we're at a friends birthday party. We flirt the whole evening and when I get home we start talking online and he starts talking about how he's getting his license soon and how we should go to the movies (or something like that). So, he gets offline to go to bed since he's getting up early in the mornig to go to an amusement park. (and before he gets off, he calls me "hun" lol"

Next night I talk to him and he tells me we "need to talk" (don't you love that!) Well, apparently he got "caught in the moment" at this friends birthday party with me. Ugh. I had liked him since we met and I could still ring his neck, if I could reach it since he's a good foot taller than I am. Now were just kinda connected through facebook and myspace where we never talk lol. (yes, I'm bitter, stupid nimner!)
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Old 08-19-2008, 09:34 PM
 
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Mine was my highschool sweetheart, but after 9 years we got back together in 2004 without even trying, and have been blissfully together ever since
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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I thought that I had posted on this way back when it first appeared. I must have written a post then deleted it. Funny that this thread should reappear now. I've been having dreams about my Dave for about a week now. I think it's from the Twilight series - all of that hot, steamy teen love and angst!

My Dave was my first love. We met in the second week of my Freshman year in college. I fell for him so hard! We dated off and on through most of college. We'd break up, see other people, then drift back to each other.

I wouldn't trade what I have now for 'what might have been', but I do wonder what it would have been like if we had been mature enough to stay together through the rough times. When we hit those rough patches, he would either disappear or tell me to disappear.
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Old 08-19-2008, 11:39 PM
 
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I'm talking about: who is the 'one who got away'? The person you still secretly think about, the person who broke your heart, the person you still, deep down, believe made a tragic mistake when they left you, the one you always hope that if you run into them, you are looking like Angelina Jolie?
Most of my Daves are women.

J- (man) He's kind and beautiful and cool. My jealousy got out of control and he dumped me in a way that felt more like lovingly releasing.

B- The hottest woman alive (she actually looks eerily similar to frog's s/o). We dated for 6 weeks and she treated me like crap. It wouldn't have worked anyway because I like her so much it makes me stupid. She's on my facebook and affects me 9 years later.

I- Really lovely but super closeted. I will not live my life as someone's secret. I chose my husband over her primarily for this reason, they were kind of competing.
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Old 08-20-2008, 12:50 AM
 
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oh i SOOO don't need this thread! i don't quite have a dave....after looking back i left most all my bf's not them leaving me! my truest dave was a george. but i don't really pine for him or wonder. i was 14 at the time and he was my first love. broke my heart.

now my what ifs....oh that is a mile long! ok...not really its like a few people. mostly though its a chad.....on again off again on again off again relationship....and i don't just mean bf/gf...even friendship. we'll talk, then date, then break up, then date, then be friends, then drift apart, then sex buddies , then friends, then drift apart and then friends, then drift apart then friends....which is where we currently are. yes i still talk to him....been about 2 months since i found him again......stupid me! driving myself NUTSO badly!
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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Now, I adore my husband...

My 'Dave' is Peter...sometimes, my mind wanders. He was soooooo bad for me, yet, I would have walked over flaming hot coals, just to sit next to him.

(I'm sorry, M).
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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His initials are C.A.J
I miss him
when my own husband is mean to me I miss him more. (I miss him a lot these days)
I was bone deep in anorexia when I knew him and he felt I was too fragile emotionally.
Oh if only he could see me now..far far from fragile.

I could cry right now so I'll move on.

The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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Old 08-20-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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my truest dave was a george.
I knew that I should stop reading this thread b/c, sooner or later, the name of my Dave would come up. I still think about him way too much anyway ... and now I'm just beyond sad.

I really need to stop lurking on this damned thread.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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Old 08-20-2008, 10:04 PM
 
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This thread just won't leave me alone!: I've found a website that claims to have a link to my Dave's email address. I'm not brave enough to write a message.

We broke up and got back together so many times. Then there were the times that we were dating other people and just not telling them that we were . . . dating. Or whatever you want to call it.

Every time I was dating someone else, he was so quick to point out how wrong they were for me. He was, of course, right!

I'd like to know how he's doing. I would really like some reassurance that he isn't in Iraq.
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