What are some stories that your husband did or said when becoming a parent? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-22-2005, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Starr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not a parent yet, but will be hopefully by the end of this year. So, I decided to have nieces and nephew around a little more often to get my husband into the paternal swing of things. So he gets more comfortable changing a diaper, changing an outfit, and making a bottle. All of those first time dad things.

So last night we were watching my 1 yr. old niece. She told us that she went potty and tried pulling her diaper off. So my brave little husband says that he'll change it. Now I know that he has at least helped me change a diaper in the past but, never on his own. I went in the kitchen and after a few minutes came back in to find....

My husband had the one year old laying on the floor on her STOMACH and he was trying to put the diaper on backwards . Well actually she was backwards and the diaper was right, kwim? Needless to say my niece was laying nice and still for him, probably wondering what in the HECK he was doing!

Just wondering if there is anything I should mentally be prepared for him to do or say when we get our bundle of joy.
Starr is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-22-2005, 03:08 PM
 
Ragana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 1,985
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
Well, my DH had four younger siblings, so I didn't have to "teach" him anything!

It sounds you are on the right track and your DH is willing to try, so let him, even if he doesn't do it "right". He'll get the hang of it and even have his own unique parenting style. Having the nieces and nephews around is a good idea, too.

I would really avoid falling into the trap that seems pretty common in our culture (in the US, I mean) of letting men off the hook for domestic/child duties based on their supposed incompetence. It's as insulting to men as it is to women, in my opinion.

Best of luck with your baby journey!

Mom "D" to DD1 "Z" (15) and DD2 "I" (11) DH "M"

Ragana is online now  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:19 PM
 
stirringleaf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: following the butterflies
Posts: 4,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i didnt have an opportunity to "train" dh before my son was born. but i had a c-section so he just jumped right in and started learning. he changed ds's first diaper and did just fine with a little bit of help from his mom.

im going to be the MDC radical breastfeeding advocate though and say that you dont need to teach him how to change a bottle if you are able to nurse! ( ignore me if there is some physical reason you cant nurse of course! or if you are planing to pump so you can work)

a new baby is simply a learning experience for both parents. i worked in daycares and have done a ton of babysitting, but really, a brand new newborn baby that is your very own is such a new experience that it will feel awkward for both of you at first!

we slept with the lights on for like the first several nights we had ds home! we just wanted to be able to see him every second in case he needed something !
stirringleaf is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
Starr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the adivce. Stirringleaf, I knew somebody would advocate the breastfeeding issue :LOL , don't worry I'm not offended by any means. We are adopting and the baby will be around 6 or 7 months old when she gets here. Plus I work out of the home. I guess I'll just let him stumble through the first couple of things and see how it goes.
Starr is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:29 PM
 
stirringleaf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: following the butterflies
Posts: 4,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i imagine that you will be doing some stumbling of your own, Starr! what i was meaning to say is that when you have your own baby it is very different than babysittign and so much to learn, so many things to process and then there is the side of it where you and your partner are working out how to parent and educate the child...its alot! so dont get TOOO confident! :LOL although i dont mean to say you arent capable!!!!!! i just agree that the DHs oughtta get more credit for having parenting instincts too! and that mommies have things to learn too!!

btw its great you are adopting, it is my dream to do that one day also!


exclaimiation point!!!!!! ( i think i need to get off the boards now and back into my day, :LOL i am getting too excited )
stirringleaf is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:30 PM
 
MsMoMpls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 1,993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was 7 months pregnant and we were registering for gifts when my 40 year old dh said... You know, I've never changed a diaper." I just started to cry. I was overwhelmed. I was sure this meant I was going to be doing everything.

But we talked and he said he was willing to learn and expecting to be doing as much as possible. He said he just needed me to stay out of the way a little and let him figure some things out on his own. (As I was the mom expert already.)

He changed Joey's first diaper as I lay recovering from my c-sect... and he changed most of them that first month.

I agree we have to expect more from daddys. They are competent even if they need to do things there own way sometimes... maybe laying on your tummy for a diaper change isn't a bad idea!!!

Maureen
MsMoMpls is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:33 PM
 
artgoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Suburban hell
Posts: 12,661
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think he will be fine. He's already volunteering to change a baby that isn't his, and that's a great start. My DP was more nervous on the inside than I was, and I was a wreck. Best advice I can give you is let him find his way. Don't be quick to "fix" things unless they put your daughter in danger. So what if her dress is on backwards, and the flower is on the back and the button are on the front. She doesn't care.
artgoddess is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:37 PM
 
annakiss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: O-hi-o-hi-o
Posts: 15,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is my DH learning all that. He never had any training and he did most of the changing the first week, even using cloth, which we didn't for the first few days. http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeEOGrFozYs2ZO

I agree with the PPs that it's all a learning experience for both parents. The best advice I ever got was that your baby will teach you what you need to know.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
annakiss is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 03:42 PM
 
SirPentor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php
Posts: 3,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had only changed a small handful of diapers before we had kids--if you don't babysit small kids and don't have female sisters or cousins, you just don't end up changing diapers. I have certainly changed a number of diapers since then, but the statistcal probability is that my wife has changed more, since she is with the kids more often.

Actually, my first diaper changing experience was funny, and my wife was present for it, though it wasn't our kid. One of my god daughters is adopted from Bulgaria, and came to the US rather under-developed for her age, so she was still full-time in diapers rather late in her life (I honestly don't remember the age, but five sounds about right--TiredX2 will probably come on here and laugh at me for the obvious mis-estimation later on).

Anyway, she needed her diaper changed so I said I'd do it. She talked me through the whole thing, and lied perfectly, and put her feet up, and everything. It was kind of funny because I really had no clue, but the little girl helped me out
SirPentor is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 07:06 PM
 
mom2threenurslings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In the midst of chaos in CT
Posts: 2,715
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My husband:

- We had our first baby in a hospital and dh had to drive us home. He had never driven with a baby in the car, nevermind HIS baby. I've never seen the man drive sooooo sloooooowly in my life! I asked him why he was going so slowly (as in, 15 miles an hour on a 25 mph road....30 mph on a 45mph road, etc.) and he said, "There's a BABY in the car!" I laughed and said, so when you were driving your precious wife around in the car, you'd drive like a fool, but now that there's a BABY...." :LOL

- He thought it was fun to lay on his back and hold the baby above him, making baby smile....until baby spit up into dh's mouth.

- Dh kept saying, "Are you sure..." making sure the baby was ok. I told him to trust me on the parenting thing (I had been babysitting since age 12) and that I'd trust him on the breastfeeding thing (he's the son of a LLL Leader, I'd seen two people breastfeed infants in my entire lifetime).

- Onesies...The first time my dh dressed our son in an outfit involving a onesie he snapped it on over the pants. I had to explain to him that it's basically a shirt that snaps between the legs, then the pants go on...so the "shirt" doesn't ride up an make baby's belly cold. So teach him how onesies work, what is the back and the front of a dress, how stockings/tights work, etc.

- He thought he's break the baby. It took him a while to get used to holding someone that tiny and to build up the confidence in himself that he could actually take care of another (helpess) human being. He's a great dad!

-

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

mom2threenurslings is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 07:11 PM
 
Orange's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: MI
Posts: 125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Neither of us had ANY experience with babies, let alone newborns. We just figured it out together. The first few diaper changes required BOTH of us :LOL

Annakiss - I love how proud your DH looks after getting the diaper on, too cute!
Orange is offline  
Old 04-22-2005, 07:18 PM
 
annakiss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: O-hi-o-hi-o
Posts: 15,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange
Annakiss - I love how proud your DH looks after getting the diaper on, too cute!
Isn't that hysterical? Whole reason I posted to this thread was to share that.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
annakiss is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off