the "I'm Crunchier than Thou" thread - Page 9 - Mothering Forums
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#241 of 297 Old 07-15-2008, 08:14 PM
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I'm so crunchy I connect to the internet through astral travel...
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#242 of 297 Old 07-15-2008, 08:15 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy, that I traveled 10 miles to find a pharmacist who would fill my four-year-old son's antibiotic prescription (yes, of course we first did a culture for specificity) without using artificially flavored, colored, sweetened, and preserved syrup. I then open the capsules and mix them with organic chocolate syrup and mama milk.

...Which isn't nearly as good as most of the entries, but I've actually found myself DOING this. I had to go to a compounding pharmacy to even find someone who would *talk* to me about the choices, and finally he offered to just give me capsules I could mix with whatever... which is exactly what I'm doing. I tried mama milk alone at first, since that's how I feed the baby his probiotics ;-), but that "made him cough" so I decided to try a dollop of chocolate syrup (which is fancy organic stuff from Whole Paycheck, since we're dairy-free). Of course, if you know what my son's like when he's on red dye #40, you'd know why I'm willing to go to such great lengths to avoid giving it to him 4x/day for 10 days!

The upside is, I can't possibly forget a dose; all day he's asking me "Mommy, is it time for my antibiotics in chocolate syrup yet?"
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#243 of 297 Old 07-15-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy I make Birthday cakes with whole spelt flour!
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#244 of 297 Old 07-16-2008, 03:31 AM
 
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For the first time every, I actually spit food at my computer. Holy crap this thread is hilarious!
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#245 of 297 Old 07-16-2008, 03:54 AM
 
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Thanks for the laughs! :

I cannot compeate. To you all.

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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#246 of 297 Old 07-16-2008, 03:47 PM
 
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This afternoon on the drive home from our baby wearing meeting I buckled Azalea, 23 months, into her rearfacing Britax Boulevard with a wool stuffed waldorf doll tied to her with a play silk . I was careful to place the belt between the doll and her so that the straps were tight and perfectly placed. While we were driving Azalea dropped the book she was reading and begged me to get it for her, but I could not reach. So, I handed her the copy of this month's Mothering Magazine that was sitting on the passenger seat of my car. There was my sweet DD sitting in her carseat wearing her baby and reading Mothering. : I giggled to myself and thought, I'll have to post about her.

So, thought it isn't nursing co-sleeping free range squirrels, it is a true story

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#247 of 297 Old 07-16-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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OK, OK, I think I can do this. I'm so crunchy...

We conceived our child at sunrise on the summer solstice in an octoganal purple yurt (constructed, of course, only from fallen birchtree branches, hemp rope and handwoven herb-died organic wool from our fifth-generation family tribe of freerange sheep)...

Then we delivered, natrually, on the spring equinox, at midnight in the open air, warmed by a bonfire of yak dung and reclaimed cedar scraps, accompanied by our friends, family, a shaman, an herbalist and a drum-playing doula...

It was a lotus birth, and I stayed with the baby in an underground cave until the cord fell off, licking water off stalactites and eating organic mushrooms.

(I don't have to mention that we don't use diapers, but I did wrap the baby in recycled handwoven unbleached organic cotton blankets.)

Now I am living off homegrown yeast and fermented soy curd while I wet nurse six neighborhood children, and my husband.



Oh... I almost forgot to mention the peace sign tatooed on my cervix.
wow, i love it!!!!!

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#248 of 297 Old 07-16-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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You know, I could swear there was another thread just like this one awhile back (only more recently started than '05), 'cause I know I made several posts to it, and I do so hate repeating myself. I think I shall have to to search my subscribed threads now....


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#249 of 297 Old 11-24-2012, 02:39 PM
 
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Another funny one I could not resist bumping...and opening!  Remember people.  THis is all in fun!  Keep it that way or I shall smite you with my extra crunchy aura!


 
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#250 of 297 Old 11-24-2012, 03:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow View Post

Another funny one I could not resist bumping...and opening!  Remember people.  THis is all in fun!  Keep it that way or I shall smite you with my extra crunchy aura!

 

 

I was just thinking about this thread the other day....

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#251 of 297 Old 11-25-2012, 06:41 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy, each and every one of my compost worms has a name.
 

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#252 of 297 Old 11-25-2012, 07:07 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy, each and every one of my compost worms has a name.
ROTFLMAO.gif


My chickens eat organic feed, eat MY organic leftovers and give me organic free range eggs! My chickens have names, too.
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#253 of 297 Old 11-25-2012, 08:44 PM
 
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This is wonderful.  I'm getting so many excellent ideas from this.  Now I feel like my thatched roof has been a hinderance to our oneness with nature.  

 

We don't get out much--if at all.  My family and I have been occupying a champion cedar tree slated for logging.  With telepathic assistance we received from the tree after our fast, we wove together branches to begin our house, and the tree has been growing them together for our benefits ever since.  The rain of lichens and seeds and needles keep our family fed, with the occasional self-sacrifice of various small mammals and grubs.  We are entirely raw-food now, and I really feel the difference!  I must try the all-air diet from a couple hundred posts back.  Photosynthesis!  Love it!

 

The girls are unschooled, and after many years of just playing with their log dolls, they now have a basic understanding of calculus.  

 

I am blessed to have contact with the outside world thanks to some repurposed technology, family sessions of pedal-power, and the occasional help from alien visits, who have helped us develop our telepathic skills while in deep meditation.

 

Fabulous ideas, ladies.  DD1 and dd2 are ready to climb off their bikes and power down.  

 

Namaste!

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#254 of 297 Old 11-26-2012, 01:24 PM
 
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The girls are unschooled, and after many years of just playing with their log dolls, they now have a basic understanding of calculus.

 

lol.gif


Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#255 of 297 Old 11-26-2012, 04:02 PM
 
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This is wonderful.  I'm getting so many excellent ideas from this.  Now I feel like my thatched roof has been a hinderance to our oneness with nature.  

 

We don't get out much--if at all.  My family and I have been occupying a champion cedar tree slated for logging.  With telepathic assistance we received from the tree after our fast, we wove together branches to begin our house, and the tree has been growing them together for our benefits ever since.  The rain of lichens and seeds and needles keep our family fed, with the occasional self-sacrifice of various small mammals and grubs.  We are entirely raw-food now, and I really feel the difference!  I must try the all-air diet from a couple hundred posts back.  Photosynthesis!  Love it!

 

The girls are unschooled, and after many years of just playing with their log dolls, they now have a basic understanding of calculus.  

 

I am blessed to have contact with the outside world thanks to some repurposed technology, family sessions of pedal-power, and the occasional help from alien visits, who have helped us develop our telepathic skills while in deep meditation.

 

Fabulous ideas, ladies.  DD1 and dd2 are ready to climb off their bikes and power down.  

 

Namaste!

ROTFLMAO.gif


 
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#256 of 297 Old 11-26-2012, 08:03 PM
 
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Finally read the whole thread.  Funny, but I think I really must be crunchier than all these folks, even though I was mightily impressed at first.  I mean, one gal was talking about composting human waste.  Really?  That is so '90's!  Our family eats so purely, we only defecate once a month or so.  

 

Phhht!  Really.....  I hope these last years have allowed everyone to get with the program.  disappointed.gif


Give me a few minutes while I caffeinate.
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#257 of 297 Old 07-07-2013, 09:22 PM
 
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OMG this thread is hilarious!! lol.gif

I am so crunchy that I grow all our fruits and vegetables using compost and the menstrual fluid that drips from my yoni as i straddle my garden every waxing crescent.

After i birth my children into our love nest made of sprouts, honeysuckle and daffodils, i chew the umbilical cord with my bare teeth and pray to the grandmother placenta, sending her all the unconditional love i can muster. I have my doula rub my body with coconut oil and ripe figs as i soak up the perfection of laying with my baby for a whole month. All i have to do is breastfeed as my womyn helpers gather in my home, making me organic vegan meals, caring for my older children and doing all the housework. Ahhh, its so nice being crunchy...
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#258 of 297 Old 07-07-2013, 10:46 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy that when I nurse my child kombucha comes out (organic).

I'm so crunchy that my cat is grass fed.

I'm so crunchy that when I donated blood, it was menstrual blood, encased in a handmade placenta pouch.

I'm so crunchy that my green smoothies contain compost.

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#259 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 12:02 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy that when I nurse my child kombucha comes out (organic).

I'm so crunchy that my cat is grass fed.

I'm so crunchy that when I donated blood, it was menstrual blood, encased in a handmade placenta pouch.

I'm so crunchy that my green smoothies contain compost.

Hahahaha, yuck to the compost smoothies and menstrual blood pouch!! sick.gif
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#260 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 02:48 AM
 
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LOL! Nice to see this thread again!

 
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#261 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 08:12 AM
 
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Okay here's another shot:

I'm so crunchy my kid's names are "Recycle" and "Reuse".

I'm so crunchy I repurposed my repurposed pallets into repurposed pallets.

I'm so crunchy that I vaccinated my kids against the vaccinations they might receive if I'm not present.

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#262 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 03:04 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy, my entire outfit was made from recycled, organic, free trade, whale placenta. I am vegan, but the whale was not harmed in the making of my clothes.

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#263 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:20 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy I don't go dumpster diving, I go landfill diving *plugs nose and does swan dive*

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#264 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:21 PM
 
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I am so crunchy that my homeschooled son consulted on Dr. Sear's Vaccine Book. 

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#265 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:39 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy my sweat smells like kale and kombucha.
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#266 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:39 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy I'm the secret love child of John Lennon and Jane Fonda
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#267 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:42 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy that when my naturopath suggested I give my child a synthetic multivitamin I was arrested for assault.

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#268 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 04:45 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy that when my naturopath suggested I give my child a synthetic multivitamin I was arrested for assault.

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#269 of 297 Old 07-08-2013, 05:56 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy that instead of telling "yo' mama" jokes, I tell "Your Divine Mother of Earth and Light" jokes.

Example: "Your Divine Mother of Earth and Light is so spiritual, she is certified to teach five different types of yoga!" *entire drum circle of women laugh hysterically*
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#270 of 297 Old 07-09-2013, 06:00 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy my sweat smells like kale and kombucha.

 

I bow to you.  So far I'm only crunchy enough for my sweat to smell like maple syrup.  winky.gif

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