the "I'm Crunchier than Thou" thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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disclaimer: this is all in fun! take everything here with a very LARGE grain of salt!!

i'm so crunchy... all i ever eat is granola, with organic cranberries.

i'm so crunchy... my neighbors complain because i've strung up our hand-washed, all-organic cotton clothing across our front porch to dry.

i'm so crunchy... i make my own chocolate bars myself, starting with the chocolate beans i have grown all organically in my backyard garden.

i'm so crunchy... i make breastmilk yoghurt!

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#2 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 10:33 PM
 
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Oh yeah?

I make breastmilk kefir.
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#3 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 10:37 PM
 
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Oh yeah ? Well I make breastmilk cheese, stirring the whey with one hand while working my spinning wheel with the other, spinning organic hemp grown in my own backyard !






lol - this is so not true !
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#4 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:LOL
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#5 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:16 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy, I'm taking this thread with a grain of organic Celtic sea salt.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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#6 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh come on, everyone, you SO know you want to post.


i'm so crunchy... i sleep on a hand-packed dirt floor with a blanket made of organic wool from sheep i breastfed!
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#7 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:39 PM
 
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Oh yeah?

I'm so crunchy I pick my own cotton and spin my own thread to make my own fabrics to make my own clothes.

See...there IS a reason I live in Lubbock.
And I have NO idea how to make fabric....:LOL

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#8 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm so crunchy, even my armpit hair is dreaded!
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#9 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:41 PM
 
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I'm so crunchy...I've raised organic ferrets and because they are fed only from the organic 10 acre garden that I till and sew by organic hands...they NATURALLY lick me clean. I shun water unless it comes from the sky directly to me. And then I dry off with organically grown kittens.


Ok...I'm missing the point.

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#10 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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oh yeah? well, I cosleep with those extended breast-fed kittens, ferrets and sheep.

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

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#11 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:45 PM
 
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Oh yeah? Well...I sling them. All of them...at the same time. With slings that I sewed myself from the organic cotton from my aforementioned cotton farm. HA! So there

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#12 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:48 PM
 
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

Can't top that-Michelle
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#13 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:56 PM
 
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I keep my breastmilk yogurt in hand crocheted containers (organic yarn spun by hand. The yarn is made from wild squirrels who live in my backyard). We eat the yogurt with spoons whittled from trees that were felled by lightning only.

The yogurt, I'm sorry... yoghurt... is flavored with dandelions and poppies which grow naturally... in hand crocheted containers.

Yum, Dandelion Poppy breastmilk yogurt.

BTW, at what point do you guys start transitioning squirrels from your family bed?
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#14 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:58 PM
 
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around the time they're old enough to mate.
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#15 of 297 Old 05-20-2005, 11:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klothos
i'm so crunchy, even my armpit hair is dreaded!

I do believe you are winning this contest.

I can't even think of anyting I'm laughing so hard.
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#16 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:06 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy my vw van is run on organic veggie oil(I wish )

Besides the hair on my head being dreaded, so is my armpit and pubic hair.
One up on you Klothos

Upon having this baby I will be making breastmilk yoghurt, soap, and using it as cream in my coffee. As well as substituting it for my families rice milk...they will never know the difference right



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#17 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:19 AM
 
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I am so crunchy my comp RUNS on breastmilk, and was mad with yarn from my dreaded armpit hair!


and I organically HACKED my ISP using wires I mad by mining my own copper in my back 40, but only organically and with the greatest of care!
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#18 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy I only eat fruit and veggies that have already fallen from the tree, bush, or vine because picking them off is murder.

I'm so crunchy that I braid my leg hair.
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#19 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:31 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy, my computer was woven from organically grown hemp by women working in a free trade Bolivian co-op.

I can play Kumbaya on seven different instruments.

And I live in a hollowed out gourd.
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#20 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:39 AM
 
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This thread is making me

Well, I'm so crunchy that I've been jotting down recipes (quill, berry ink, handmade paper of course) for all of the yummy placenta dishes we will enjoy from our solar oven after the new babe is born (unassisted, backyard tidal pool).


KT : - Smitten mama to J & M : Looking for a local group in SEPA? - See my homepage!
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#21 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:40 AM
 
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My hollowed out gourd was biodynamically farmed.

I only drink free-range water.

My children's names are Ocelot Dogwood, Nebula Unicorn and Gravel Marsupial

::::: Married for ten years to my good man :. Mama to my sweet and funny boy and my lovely little girl

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#22 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:42 AM
 
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I'm so crunchy i'm drinking an all natural 100% organic Bud Light
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#23 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:44 AM
 
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I am so crunchy i can't participate in this thread.

y'all wouldn't understand.
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#24 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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you mamas are killing me!
Quote:
And then I dry off with organically grown kittens.
: :





i'm so crunchy we don't even have a computer. i'm posting by telepathy.
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#25 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:52 AM
 
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you guys rock!

p.s. klothos- i just read your freebirth story. seriously you really do rock.

tabitha

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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#26 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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#27 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 12:55 AM
 
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omg, you made me wake up the baby
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#28 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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I'm so cruncy that when I decided to concieve I chose the exact egg I wanted to erupt and travel down the fallopian tubes. Through a process of deep meditation I chose the sperm that had the energy whose vibration was most in sync with the egg and channeled it to the egg ahead of all the rest. Because I was in constant telepathic contact with the baby we decided on a mutually agreeable date and time for it to be born and I gave birth without assistance in the light of the full moon in our natural lake, without pushing.

I wrapped the baby up in a soft blanket I wove myself from the body hair of each family member and walked back to our cave, where we had a vegan feast of raw grass and wild mushrooms.
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#29 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 01:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magemom
I am so crunchy i can't participate in this thread.

y'all wouldn't understand.
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#30 of 297 Old 05-21-2005, 01:08 AM
 
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I always suspected I was only chewy, now after reading all these, I am kinda proud to be chewy! :LOL :LOL

SpiralScoutin' Homeschoolin' Mama to Michael, Citizen of Portlandia, age 21, Danielle, Artist in Residence, Age 9 & Jack-Jack, Minecraft Maniac, Age 6
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