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#1 of 23 Old 06-16-2005, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What do you think of nanny cams? I was thinking about this because I saw a show about a couple that hired a sitter, checked her references, did a criminal background check etc. Just to be safe they installed a nanny cam. You would have thought they did everything right. Well the nanny killed their child on cam one day, on the one hand they had proof but on the other if you don't trust someone to watch your child without a cam should they be watching them at all? Still, you can hire someone and do everything right or even have someone you know and trust like a family member watch your child and you never truly know 100% do you?
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#2 of 23 Old 06-16-2005, 10:32 PM
 
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I would never have a nanny cam because I would never leave my child with anyone other than very close family members and one very close friend I have. I guess if you're not left with a choice and must have a stranger watch your children, it's fine. I just can't imagine leaving my children with someone who I thought I needed to record on a camera.

(The "you" in my post is a general "you", not you DM!)
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#3 of 23 Old 06-16-2005, 10:39 PM
 
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I have had 2 regular, alternating babysitters. I don't believe (personally) in using one. If I feel the need to use one, then that would answer my own question (no, this person isn't safe.)

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#4 of 23 Old 06-16-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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No, I'd never use a nanny cam.
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#5 of 23 Old 06-16-2005, 11:43 PM
 
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Gavin DeBecker talks about nanny cams in Protecting The Gift. he says that people get them and use them because their intutition is telling them something isn't right, but then they don't act on their intuition unless and until they catch something on tape. I think people should trust their intuition, in particular when it comes to their children.
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#6 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 12:32 AM
 
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i dont do nanny's (sahm), but if I did I would have a cam (but i wouldnt have a nanny)

I am a housecleaner by trade and I always behave in anyone's home like i am on a camera, cuz you never know. I would definately have a cam if i had a housecleaner, too.....but not because i didnt trust people, i am just nosey.

btw: that story is incredibly sad and I am so happy I can take care of my precious daughter and those poor parents must just be devastated.
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#7 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:06 AM
 
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I was a nanny for years (all through college and grad school). I would have been really insulted if I had found out that I was being watched. I loved those kids and wouldn't have hurt them. It would have felt very wierd to me that someone trusted me enough to leave me alone with their children, but not enough to let me do my job unobserved.

Now that I have my own ds, I can understand the impulse (heck, I even want to know what dh is up to when I leave ds with him ...does he really feed him Pringles and let him play with the drill?), but I really believe that if I feel the need to have a camera spying on a caregiver, then I don't know that person well enough to leave my son with him/her.

I'm not sure how I feel about situations in which the caregiver is told up front that he/she is being recorded...I would have to to think about that one more.

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#8 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 04:05 AM
 
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I did have a nanny and didn't use a Cam. I suppose if I was going to for some reason (can't really think of a reason why I would ) I would have just told her about it. But that would just be weird. I have done things while working as a nanny that I would feel embarresed to High Heaven if anyone saw. Lets suffice it to say it invloves fake opera, bad tap-dancing, and reeeeeaaallly bad freestyle-rap. I just don't think I'd be as fun and unfettered if I knew I was being filmed.
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#9 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 11:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessemoon
I was a nanny for years (all through college and grad school). I would have been really insulted if I had found out that I was being watched. I loved those kids and wouldn't have hurt them. It would have felt very wierd to me that someone trusted me enough to leave me alone with their children, but not enough to let me do my job unobserved.
: That's exactly how I feel.

I was a nanny, too, for a while, and I don't think that I would ever get a cam. Anyone that I would leave my child with would need to be above reproach in my eyes.
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#10 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 12:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadie_sabot
Gavin DeBecker talks about nanny cams in Protecting The Gift. he says that people get them and use them because their intutition is telling them something isn't right, but then they don't act on their intuition unless and until they catch something on tape. I think people should trust their intuition, in particular when it comes to their children.

I totally agree! Follow you instincts! I have only left dd with my parents and then only for 2 hrs! Hee hee! I don't like to share my babe :LOL
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#11 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadie_sabot
Gavin DeBecker talks about nanny cams in Protecting The Gift. he says that people get them and use them because their intutition is telling them something isn't right, but then they don't act on their intuition unless and until they catch something on tape. I think people should trust their intuition, in particular when it comes to their children.
De Becker also says that even if the Cam shows no abuse, it doesn't prove anything other than that no abuse happened in front of that camera at the time it was on.

He does say that Cams can be useful if you have left specific instructions for the nanny regarding an issue and you want to see if your instructions have worked, or something like that...

I think that instead of a cam, which I think just makes a video that you can watch later, one could consider one of those websites that some daycare centers have where you can just log on, give a password, and see what's going on right then in several rooms.
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#12 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamajama
I have done things while working as a nanny that I would feel embarresed to High Heaven if anyone saw. Lets suffice it to say it invloves fake opera, bad tap-dancing, and reeeeeaaallly bad freestyle-rap.
Me too...although the things in question would be more likely me picking my nose or scratching my crotch...you know, the things you do when you think you're alone. :
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#13 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:22 PM
 
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As a (former and future) nanny I would have absolutely no problem with being taped. In fact, I would encourage and support it, because it would offer me some protection.
I just don't know who has the kind of time to come home after a long day of work and watch 8 + hrs of video, even if it is on fast forward.
I would, however, be pissed off if my employers were using it to say "You didn't wipe the counter down correctly. You didn't heat the bottle up correctly. etc" I would prefer to just have it running at all times, and then if God forbid the child was hurt and there was a question as to exactly what happened, we could go to that time in the video to show that it was purely an accident and not abuse.
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#14 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:26 PM
 
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If I were to get a nanny (which i probably never will), i would most likely tape them.
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#15 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:28 PM
 
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i dont do nanny's (sahm), but if I did I would have a cam (but i wouldnt have a nanny)

that story is incredibly sad and I am so happy I can take care of my precious daughter
: That was really snotty.
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#16 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:35 PM
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My understanding is that as horrible as this child's death is (indeed, any child's death is) is that statistically children are far more likely to be abused by a parent than by a caregiver. It was in a book about things parents should worry about and things they shouldn't...it was a mother clutching her three yer old on the cover-but at any rate the author pointed out, "Caregivers have saved more lives than they have ever taken." I think about this a lot when I hear about these things....as horrible as it is, you hear far more often about a parent doing something dreadful.

My son is at a preschool (without a cam) and if I had a nanny for him, I would not have a cam either. I would have to feel very sure of the person and God knows if I could find someone as wild as mamajama to do lots of crazy dancing with DS, I would not want her inhibited in any way :
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#17 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 02:46 PM
 
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My understanding is that as horrible as this child's death is (indeed, any child's death is) is that statistically children are far more likely to be abused by a parent than by a caregiver.
But if I know I'm not going to abuse my children, most likely anyone who is going to abuse them will be someone who has a lot of access to them.

Although, I wonder, why does no one want a secret camera in a public school classroom? Lots of kids are abused in school.
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#18 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 04:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by 2much2luv
: That was really snotty.
I didn't think she came off snotty at all. I feel the same way. I am a totally paranoid sahm mama. That's why I asked this question. I didn't leave my dd with anyone until she was 18 months old and even when she's with family I still worry. I sometimes think it's not normal to worry so much about it, I guess I have trust issues.
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#19 of 23 Old 06-17-2005, 04:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bri276
As a (former and future) nanny I would have absolutely no problem with being taped. In fact, I would encourage and support it, because it would offer me some protection.
I just don't know who has the kind of time to come home after a long day of work and watch 8 + hrs of video, even if it is on fast forward.
I would, however, be pissed off if my employers were using it to say "You didn't wipe the counter down correctly. You didn't heat the bottle up correctly. etc" I would prefer to just have it running at all times, and then if God forbid the child was hurt and there was a question as to exactly what happened, we could go to that time in the video to show that it was purely an accident and not abuse.
That's what I think too. If I was watching someone's child I would have no problem with being videotaped, I have nothing to hide. I sing silly songs and dance around like someone else mentioned but as long as I don't have to watch them watch it I would be fine with that :LOL I know as a parent I want to know 100% for sure that my child is safe when I'm not able to be there. Having a camera would make me feel more secure and I would hate to begrudge another parent of that security.
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#20 of 23 Old 05-26-2014, 10:02 PM
 
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In a perfect world, the parent who requires a nanny does everything to ensure the person is trustworthy and kind ... checks references, runs a background check, has a "trial run" to ensure the person is a good fit, etc.  But this isn't always a perfect world.  The safety of a child is paramount.  An adult's mild embarrassment should not be enough to dissuade someone from protecting their child when they need to employ a nanny.  

 

My child is most precious to me and my DH.  We don't leave her with anyone that's not family.  If, in an emergency, I had to employ a Nanny, I may use a camera so that I could check in to see for myself that everything was going ok.   

 

My friend left her child with neighbor friend she knew and trusted. She knew her for over 15 years. Their kids had played together without incident for years.  Unfortunately,  a week later, my friend's 6 YO told her that the neighbors 12 YO DS asked them to remove their clothes.  If there had been a camera there, both parents would have been able to see exactly what happened. And, prior to anything happening, my friend could have checked in on the child, seen that the kids were off on their own, and called the neighbor to check on them.  My friend could have gone to get her child and asked the neighbor to have the kids play where the neighbor could see them (like she thought they were being watched) until she got there. There was never any thought that anything of this nature would happen.   My friend, understandably upset, told the neighbor what her child had told her. The son's mother was mortified, apologized, and said she'd take care of talking with her son. The two families have not been the same.   Had there been a camera there, the little child may not have faced this situation.

 

Nannys:

1. Having parents see that you enjoy interacting with their children, twirling and dancing with joy, feeding them when they are hungry, getting them bathed and ready for bed, and that you do it all with love and energy should be celebrated.  We all at times are embarrassed by how we do something.  But most parents aren't critiquing how you dance.  If anything, they're probably thankful that their child's caretaker treats the child with love and respect. 

2. I mean no disrespect, but children can walk into a room at any time. Doing something that is private in nature where a child could see should probably be done in a private place.. like the bathroom. (Ok, if you are watching infants I get that they won't walk in.  But perhaps the parents come home early and enter the house quietly so they don't wake the child. It would be embarrassing for all parties if they walked in on something that is private.)  

3. Since abuse has touched close to home, I tend to err on the side of the child.  Even though it could be after the fact, knowing exactly what happened is important. When you have done nothing wrong, the camera is your tool too.  Children often have wild imaginations.   Young children tell stories, it's normal.  Usually they don't want to get someone in trouble.  Sometimes they misunderstand things.  If a child tells the parent that something strange happened, consulting the video tape could show that nothing happened and all is well.  

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#21 of 23 Old 05-28-2014, 05:21 PM
 
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I have yet to hire a nanny and I technically have a "nanny cam". If we ever hire someone to watch our children, we will use it. We also use it when we're on vacation, gone for extended periods of time, etc. It isn't about intuition, it's about peace of mind. The camera allows you to watch, live, the actions happening via a website or mobile app. It also records video and can send you e-mails when any movement occurs. It isn't that big of a deal, honestly; it's just an additional security measure.

I may be the minority here, but I see nothing wrong with it and will happily use it if/when the time comes that someone watches my children (other than family).
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Last edited by Mulvah; 06-03-2014 at 04:51 PM.
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#22 of 23 Old 06-22-2014, 01:58 AM
 
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I have yet to hire a nanny and I technically have a "nanny cam". If we ever hire someone to watch our children, we will use it. We also use it when we're on vacation, gone for extended periods of time, etc. It isn't about intuition, it's about peace of mind. The camera allows you to watch, live, the actions happening via a website or mobile app. It also records video and can send you e-mails when any movement occurs. It isn't that big of a deal, honestly; it's just an additional security measure.

I may be the minority here, but I see nothing wrong with it and will happily use it if/when the time comes that someone watches my children (other than family).
Could you share what brand/type of cam/website/app this is that does all this? I would love to get something like this. I have a nanny and while I trust her to keep my children safe, I do think that they're not getting as much attention as I would expect, and also I would love to see if she handles certain situations the way we have discussed. So, yes, I would like to have a nanny cam, but don't currently have one as I thought it would be too difficult to set up (so, obviously I'm not super concerned about our nanny, but would do it differently if I weren't so technologically challenged..)
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#23 of 23 Old 06-23-2014, 09:31 PM
 
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If you're worried about how your caregiver is treating your child (or elder person, or person with special needs, or even pet if you are especially crazy like me), it makes MUCH more sense to be upfront and tell the person hey, I'm a worrier. We have nanny cams. It's nothing personal, but it makes me feel better. Thought you should know. At least then you would be PREVENTING abuse instead of trying to have proof after the fact, which seems beside the point.

As a former nanny, I would totally understand parents being worried, especially not really knowing me that well in the beginning. I may have references, I may seem nice but who knows. However, if I found out there were nanny cams and no one told me I'd quit on the spot. That feels like a violation.
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