Holiday weekend & mother issues - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 3 Old 07-06-2005, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh - We went & spent Sat/Sun at my IL's lake house in Michigan. It was pretty good - Our friends went with us so that was nice & I got to relax a little since Nana was on duty - except Emma had a raging 104.1 fever on saturday & was mega constipated. We floated a river on tubes & that was pretty fun. We also went to a party across the lake & guess who was there???
Bachelor Bob & his wife! His parents have a house right across the lake.
Both super nice!
Now to my shitty part & the part I need advice on. We left Monday late morning to head to my moms for @4-5 hours. The trip is about 2.5 hours with no traffic. After that we were suppose to go & met up with Ian's brother for dinner.
Well - I called my mom & she got all bizarre & said well if you can't stay longer don't even come - you'll just upset Muriel (my little sister) Then said she was busy & hung up. WTF?? so I called back & she didn't pick up & I left a message & said if she wanted us to come call my cell. - I called again & she wouldn't pick up - she has caller id. so I haven't talked to her since. She's the type that if we would have shown up she wouldn't have answered her door.
What am I suppose to do?? Ian wants me to wait & not call . She's been pretty shitty towards me lately since my older sisters have been stressing her out so ian thinks she isn't being fair. Its one of those situations as my 2 sisters are dysfunctional & I'm (semi) normal so I get the poop end of the stick.
I just don't know what to do and am so sad about it.
any insight for dysfunctional families?? (we live @7.5 hours away from our families & try as often as possible to make it a 50/50 split when we visit - which is a real PITA. But this weekend we were relaxing with our friends instead of driving all over heck & back since Ian took extra days off for a vacation.
I don't think its a jealousy thing as we aren't one of those familes that are all lovey & close but still - I figure if we can come for 5 hours up until Emma's bedtime its better than nothing. We try to spread our time out the best we can over subsequent trips (we go back about 1x a month)
Ugh!

Kate, BioMama to Emma Lu, Elliana - Almost Mama to Martin, & Foster Mama to Baby T
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#2 of 3 Old 07-06-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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What a yucky situation. It's so good of you to be doing those drives, they are so hard with a little one. Will she drive to see you? I would wait a couple of days to let her cool down then call. Or maybe write her a letter, telling her how you feel and that you want to come and see her, but 4-5 hours is all you can do because of the drive. A lot of time people "hear" reasoning more in writing, since they can't interrupt you with their agenda!

Regardless of what happens, remember you can only do and affect 50% of the relationship. Try to keep yourself loving and open, but don't get pulled into her drama. (So easy to say, so hard to do!)
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#3 of 3 Old 07-06-2005, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Sistermama. No she has yet to visit us in the year we have lived here. & visted us once in the 3 we were in TX & that was for our wedding - she was suppose to come down when Emma was born - she booked her ticket when Emma was admitted to the NICU (2weeks) & cancelled last minute because my sisters kids had hand,foot,&mouth funk & couldn't go to daycare so my mom had to watch them.
she's veryt anti-letter writing - its what my dad use to do instead of talking to people.

I just don't know what to do - THe thing is - I am getting more emotional over the fact that I NEVER want my daughter to feel this way than I am about my own heart hurting.

Kate, BioMama to Emma Lu, Elliana - Almost Mama to Martin, & Foster Mama to Baby T
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