Anyone have a meth addicted family member? - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-05-2006, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do , my baby brother. He is 24, and has had a "problem" for 2-3 years. He is like a completely diferent person. He has turned to crime to support his habit and has been arrested many times and has done time in jail. He has broken our hearts, and is not ready for help. He was just arrested again yesterday.

Meth addiction is like a dirty secret in the family. People have a preconceived notion of what kind of family you come from.

They don't understand how we can love him and yet hate the drug and what he has become.

It makes people, even friends uncomfortable.

So, I am wondering if anyone else can relate.

Are you out there?
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Old 04-05-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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i absolutely do. feel free to pm me if you want to talk about it.

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Old 04-06-2006, 12:29 AM
 
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I'm so sorry.

My little brother (25) and my sil (20) both used meth for about a year. Sil was hospitalized twice.

They both kicked it for a year, relapsed for several months, and are clean again 18mos and counting. Meth is transparent. We know when they're using and when they're not.

Meth is awful.

I totally understand how you can love the person and hate the drug.

I know, at least in my part of the country, it's a lot more common than people will admit.

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Old 04-06-2006, 12:35 AM
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someone very close to me is in the process of healing from a heroin addiction, it's scary & sad.

M, mom to DS1 (8 yrs), DS2 (5 yrs), and DS3 (2 yrs).

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Old 04-06-2006, 12:44 AM
 
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Not meth, as far as I know, but everything else. Unfortunately, at 35 and cumulative years of being in lock-down treatment, he's back on the streets.

Good luck to you and your family. Al-Anon can be very helpful in these situations, if you haven't tried a meeting out yet, please do go find one and give it a chance.

After all these years (his first time in treatment was at age 16), I don't even really feel love for him. I'm so angry that he treats his daughter like crap. He's not allowed to see her until he's spent 6 months clean and he can't even do that. It's been years of therapy for his 8 year old, who is just crushed that her father doesn't think she's important enough to call on her birthday. It's so incredibly sad.

He recently even said to my sister, "I'm not going to have children." To which she said, "What?!?!?! You have a daughter, s*#&thead!"

Sorry, didn't mean to derail your thread. I just wish your brother so much more than this. <hugs>
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Old 04-06-2006, 01:28 AM
 
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My dad got arrested for cooking some up.

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Old 04-06-2006, 01:46 AM
 
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Yep. My brother.

He spent five years using. He stole from family, from the family business to support his habit. He lied. He arranged to have his truck stolen for drugs. He was a mess. I could not stand to be around him nor could I take the risk.

He lost his job, his home, his wife and son.

His ex turned in his dealer. A big time guy who put a hit out on him and another son. (from a previous relationship) The guy went down as did the ring. My brother hid out for a year or so.

He was still using through this. Coming home to nothing he finally got clean.

He relapsed in February. Swears it was only one time but I will always wonder....

Janis

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Old 04-06-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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Another 'yes'. My BIL was using it. We're not really sure if he still is. It really sucks because there is so little support for people to get clean, especially for people without insurance. He's been trying to get his life on track on his own, but who knows how that is working out (DH calls him every week- we live in another state, sp we don't really know what is actually happening).

My mom works in a NICU in a midwestern state and says that more than half of the babies are there because of meth. It is like nothing they have ever seen.

Did anyone watch Frontline's special yesterday? You can watch it on www.pbs.org It was so upsetting. Drug companies shipped directly to cookers for years and few in congress did any thing (except in Oregon). Now that Sudafed is behind the counter, the pharma companies are sending a hugely inflated amount to Mexico.
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:10 AM
 
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My uncle's wife. 40-ish, 2 adult children, one teenaged son. Even got her oldest into drugs, but thankfully he is clean now. She's not. Steals from the family. Uncle is divorcing her after nearly 25 years of marriage because she is so out of control. :-(
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:22 AM
 
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My mother and stepfather have done meth off and on my entire life. I hated it. Just when things were going ok (well as ok as you can get in an abusive household) they would start cooking up crank and pretty soon jobs would be lost and they would have to move in with any family member willing to take us in. It was a terrible way to grow up. My moms body is so gross and nasty looking from years of shooting up and she doesn't even have any teeth, she has to wear dentures.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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Old 04-06-2006, 03:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swimswamswum
My mom works in a NICU in a midwestern state and says that more than half of the babies are there because of meth. It is like nothing they have ever seen.
Sadly Rose the problem is bigger than people want to admit. I think
it's really great that you started this thread, for you to find support and
other's who thought they were alone can realize they are not.

Recently a friend had a extended stay in AR for the funeral of her FIL.
She said that meth is a HUGE problem there. She said she couldn't
get threw a trip in public without seeing children with no teeth or rotting
teeth. She asked somebody and they said that is due to the huge
meth problem. She was horrified.

My blessings are with you, your Brother and your family.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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Old 04-06-2006, 10:16 AM
 
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My brother and sister do. They get high together. He just went to prison you may have heard of him the feds called him the grinch that stole xmas. He demolished well over 100 mail boxes looking for money around xmas time. He was so high all he got was 5 dollars a gift card he was to scared to use and 18 months prison. My sister called me 3 days ago for bail money. This is the third time this year. Her husband took the kids 1700 miles away to his home town filed for divorce and she hasnt seen them for at least 7 months. They were staying with me abot a month prior while bil got prepared. I gave him the money to get out of town on because my sister was getting so high that when she finally fell asleep she wouldnt get up to feed the kids or ANYTHING. She also started violently spanking. The day I went over there I was going to tell her that if she didnt get on track our family was going to report her the cps.I remember the day I walked in to her apartment and it was pitch black. The boys were watching tv. They ran up to me and said "we come to you house" My sister was asleep it was almost 2. The little one was in a diaper and shirt the big one was in a shirt. They were filthy. There was ciggarette buts all over cat poop on the floor house was disgusting. I started to cry and the little one looked at me and says luv you jaime. I grabbed all the dirty clothes I could carry. Tried to grab dipes but of course there were none. Looked in the fridge and it was bare. Took those boys home and never looked back. She didnt even call for 5 days!!!! She doesnt deserve the boys I love them so much I cry as I type this and my stomach hurts as it did the day I rescued them. There was no way I would have left the boys in that apartment. We went home ate like crazy and watched sponge bob followed up by a trip to the park a nice bath and we all fell asleep on the couch me weeping soflty and promising the boys that I would always be there ALWAYS. I am getting very emotional now so I will end this saying. Meth is the worst thing I have ever seen and it destroys everything in its path. I feel for all the people suffering with addiction and their families. The boys were 2.5 and 4.5 At the time
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Old 04-06-2006, 11:11 AM
 
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I haven't been touched by meth addiction, but I couldn't read this without offering hugs to all you ladies who have. What a huge waste of life, money and everything that is important in this world.
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Old 04-06-2006, 11:56 AM
 
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no family members, but it's ripped my community apart. i know a few people who went to jail for it. i've watched friends become shells of themselves, acquaintances disappear--whether because of meth, incarceration or rehab, who knows...? as someone who works in harm reduction, i don't usually have an opinion as to whether or not a drug is "bad." but imo, meth is in a class by itself; the damage that it does is like nothing i've ever seen. and now our community is dealing with the second wave of HIV--lots of people seem to be getting infected again.

if it's any consolation, i do know quite a lot of people who've been able to kick it. BUT they really have to get to the point that they WANT to quit with everything in them, and usually they get to that point by almost losing everything, however they define that: for some, it was almost losing a career; for others, their lives. nothing you can say will do it, believe me, i've tried many times. it's futile. sad to say, but they just don't get it when they are in the grip of meth.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:05 PM
 
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I suspect my brother is using.

I recently saw in the paper where my highschool boyfriend was arrested for running a meth lab. I talked to a mutual friend, and he's abandoned his 4 children and has become a completely different person. He was such a great guy, it was really sad to hear.

It's rampant here in the AR/TX area. I was talking to a kid at church the other day, and she said she was one of only 3 people she knew that hadn't tried it, and that several of her friends were hooked. She's in the 10th grade.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:23 PM
 
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Nobody in my family, but it has taken its toll on my hometown. Also my folks own some farm land and one time people were cooking meth on their land.

When I visit my folks I see strangers out in public and they just look a mess. They just about have to be using meth.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:40 PM
 
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Yep, my 18 year old cousin has been arrested several times for it and also drinking and driving at the same time. He had his trial a few weeks ago and is on house arrest. His family is completely broken about it. He has two younger siblings-- 8th & 9th grade.
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Old 04-06-2006, 12:43 PM
 
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One neice and one nephew (different sisters are the Moms). Both were intelligent, charming, fantastic kids. Nephew especially seems to have done permanant damage to his brain, so that even when he isn't using, he isn't the same person he was/could have been. Both Moms have sought help; done everything they could. It's just so sad.

Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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Old 04-06-2006, 02:26 PM
 
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My BIL is on trial for dealing. His family is in denial - "the police are picking on him", "the states attorney is holding a grudge because (BIL) used to tease him when they were kids", blah blah blah. It makes me mad and sad at the same time.
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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My dad was a Meth addict for a large part of my childhood, it led him to start physically and mentally and verbally abusing me, my mom and my brother. He never got arrested, or even caught. When my parents got divorced he went away for a long time and got cleaned up, he's better now. I was terrified of him for a long time.

All of my dad's (ex) friends, therefore my friends parents, are meth addicts, a very good friend of my dad's died of a meth overdose 6 years ago, but not before he got crazy paranoid. One day he walked out to his yard (in the country) and started shooting into a tree...we're still not sure of the reason...once he said the birds were laughing at him, then he decided the police/FBI was in the tree watching him. My best friends mom died of heart failure at the age of 45, the drs think her years of drug addiction weaked her heart to that point. My aunt still is a drug user (I think).

It's a terrible addiction, it effects a person so much driving them to do things they never would normally (like my dad beating my brother and I)

I'm sorry you are having to deal with it.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:50 PM
 
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Not meth as far as I know - but SIL (Dh's younger sister) is a heroin addict (who also drinks and uses/sells many other drugs).

My ILs are raising her two year old child.

I have nothing nice to say about SIL. Not a single thing.

My niece is a sweet little girl, but I fear that we are going to end up raising her at some point and I have very mixed emotions about that.

Do any of the addicts in your families have children?

Tanya
Mom to John (age 11), James (age 9) & Katherine (age 5)
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:52 PM
 
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My younger brother (25) is a meth addict. Has been since high school. He used to be very intelligent (genius IQ at one time). Now he is FRIED. He's violent and bitter and depressed.
He's stolen thousands from our mother. Cash and otherwise. He doesn't work.
My mom has him living in a house she bought from my now deceased uncle.

Ironically (or not), that uncle was a meth addict before he died.

I love my brother a great deal but I no longer have contact with him. I have my own family to worry about. I cannot force him into treatment.
The last time I tried to help he got very violent with me and called me every name in the book followed by disowning me.
For trying to help him go to treatment.

Many of my cousins are addicted.
My older brother was addicted but he's back in prison so he's obviously not using much anymore.

Most of my family has been cut off with the exception of my mother and my baby brother (18). I won't deal with the toxic nonsense. I want my family to be healthy and functional.

Hugs to all of you who are pouring your time and attention into that black hole. Meth is evil.

DS 6 DD 8
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Old 04-06-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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I just found out a few days ago that my brother is a meth addict. He moved to Florida just before Christmas with his girlfriend and their baby and has since abandoned them and moved to California with his meth addict buddy.

It breaks my heart to hear of this and be able to do nothing because he is so far away.

I have suspicions of my upstairs neighbors using heroin because I found used syringes behind my trash cans the other day. They look like they were stashed there not very long ago.
Needless to say- we are moving within the next 30-60 days. And our children will nto be playing outdoors until we do. I have even stopped cleaning outside in fear of being pricked.
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Old 04-06-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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I want to HUG all the mamas on this thread, I have several family members who may not be on meth but it is other things they are addicted too

Unfortunently I dont see a solution to the meth problem anytime soon
But then again who knows

The problem with meth is that with the exception of psudopedrine ( sudaphed) all the ingrediants you can get at any store

I will be praying for all the mamas here and thier families
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Old 04-07-2006, 11:40 AM
 
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I did until recently. My step-mother passed away on March 17th. She was a meth addict and when she couldn't get it, she would shoot morphine. She was recovered for 8 years with a couple of one-time relapses. Since the autopsy results aren't in yet, we do not know if drugs played a part in her death or not. My father was amazing, he has never done drugs in his life and never knew she had a problem until she tried to go cold-turkey 8 years ago and she finally told him. He supported her through all of it including her relapses. The day she died, she had admitted to him that she's taken a couple of Percoset (which, of course, is a no-no as it's a narcotic). I only hope that she did not OD, as I'm so afraid that he'll blame himself.

So, anyway, my heart and thoughts go to ALL of you who are facing this with your friends, family, and communities. This is a very serious problem plaguing many small communities.
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Old 04-07-2006, 11:51 AM
 
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My (ex)step-dad. Not sure if it was Meth but I know he was on a ton of crud. Growing up he was generally a good man but he would get really cranky and have moodswings. He also squandered all of his and my moms money on drugs to the point where we were always broke with creditors calling constantly. Ready to loose our house and everything. After my sister and I moved out we really rallied our mom to do something, she told him it was go to a drug treatment program or divorce. He went and came back and was good for a *tiny* bit. Then had to go back and left with his druggie girlfriend he met in rehab. Course mom divorced him. The sad thing is he's my youngest sisters dad and she is loosing out because of him. He has been on again off again clean from what I've heard and he lost everything including his friends. Its sad, but thats life, he has to deal now.

I got a life long lesson out of it though, I've never done drugs and rarely drink. Seeing him and what my family went through, there was just never any temptation growing up to do any of it.

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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Old 04-07-2006, 12:41 PM
 
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Drugs have been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember, and I remember being 3 yrs old and watching my dad use cocaine. After my parents divorced, he kicked the habit and remained a positive force in my life. My mom and stepdad were on and off though as well as active alcoholics (that got worse when I was a teen). The whole time there was the pot growing and dealing - I'm not anti-mj but there was trouble with the cops b/c of that when we were kids...

Somehow my brother, now 23 or 24, has fallen through the cracks of my family...and eventually got on crack by 19 -20yrs old. I've heard that my hometown is being ripped apart by it...the older hippie parents, and their kids.

He left to go south to get away from it but environmental cures don't work...He was living with my mom and while I was visiting I accidently walked in on him in the bathroom and spotted a rock on the counter. I was heartbroken. he'd said he'd quit, and I had hoped it was true.

We made the mistake of having him be our roomate when we moved down here. It was soon appearant that he was still at it and had the drugs and drug dealers at and in our house with my kids there. I was terrified my kids would be taken away - we were so poor and struggling and the police were ALWAYS there. We were trapped there until we had money to move. . Soon we kicked him out after that, even after trying an intervention with AA people that didn't work.

As far as I know he is clean now, but I don't talk to him hardly at all. I don't know where he lives or what his # is. There's a lot of hurt there and I'm just going to have to let him go, for I don't know how long. He has a 5 yo dd he hasnt' seen since I don't know when back home.
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Old 04-21-2006, 01:48 AM
 
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My little sister is a recovering meth addict. This summer she will be clean for 2 years. She'll be 26. She has heart problems & high blood pressure because of the damage she did to her body. Next week she is getting all of her teeth taken out because they are so rotten.

She lost custody of her 2 daughters. My Dad has them. She hasn't seen them in over 3 years. She hasn't been able to contact them in anyway for 2 years. My nieces were sexually abused by one of the creeps she had around them. They have problems. My oldest niece has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) Right now the girls are 6 and almost 9. Our family has been thew hell for years. I had my nieces when they were 14mos and almost 4. I was due with my dd then and had a 2 1/2 yo and a 5yo. After my dd was born I soon discovered I couldn't deal with 5 under 5....my 4 niece had behavioral problems, the baby had anger issues and would slam her head into walls and pull her hair out, bite herself....After 3 months my Dad took the girls and my sister lived with him and social services seemed to think she was a fit parent...she took them, less than a year later in a different state social services took them away, she had OD and the girls were put in foster care. My dad a few weeks later got the girls and has had them ever since. My sister went to rehab, then she got out, we had a nightmare of a year wondering what she was doing...if she was okay...if she was alive....She soon surfaced...with boyfriend and pregnant again. She said she wasn't using but when she delivered her baby, the baby and her tested positive for meth....baby went to foster care, she went to jail straight from hospital...soon after she went to rehab...and has been clean since. She got her baby back after 6 months and is a "fit" parent, she has worked a steady job for over a year...she is really trying. She wants to see her daughters but my Dad won't let her. My oldest niece is in a RAD facility and has been in treatment facilities for over 2 1/2 years now...that is a whole other issue in our family...but it has totally destroyed our family.

Meth Madness really helped me. It is mainly for addicts, but there is resources for family. I discovered I couldn't do anything to help her...she had to want to help herself and be better. She is doing better now...I'm so thankful...but it could easily change back again. Statisically for meth addicts it isn't good.

This is a good thread....many of us need support. I really do from time to time. I need to vent...my dh gets tired of me talking about the same crap. It is so much negative energy and we don't want it in our lives!!

Meth is all over. There was a meth lab busted just down the street from me.

It is all over in our community. It is effecting families and children. It is horrible.

Feel free to PM me as well. It's very sad there are so many of us who have families with meth addicts.
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Old 04-21-2006, 02:00 AM
 
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my ILs are supposedly on coke but I think it's much more likely it's meth. they don't have the $$ for it to be coke.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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Old 04-21-2006, 02:12 AM
 
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My brother is using something (we suspect). I'm not sure if it's meth or some other drug. What exactly IS meth? Why does it rot people's teeth out? I'm curious.
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