So I'm thinking that it might be nice to stop thinking - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last week dh and I were at an awards ceremony for his work. Conversation turned to kids and his co-worker T and his wife A had a son 4 months ago. So we're talking about sleeping and A says that their son sleeps from 6 at night until six in the morning. My eyes popped out of my head and I asked, "has he always been such a good sleeper?" And she said no. T said that for the first two days home from the hospital that they had to hold him in order for him to sleep so the third day they went to the pediatrition and she told them to put him in a carseat in his crib and let him cry. He was five days old! So A says, well he was still up every two hours. And I'm like, yeah he has to eat!
I have never been so mortified in my life. I know there are varying opinions on CIO, but I have never heard of it done on a 5 day old infant! I was seriously stunned silent (and that is a rarity lol).
So I got to thinking. How nice it would be to just live by what the pediatrition tells me. I have never listened to doctors, I listen to me. I have not made any decision regarding my children lightly and research everything to death. To take this peds advice, imo, was not thinking. How nice and simple. It would be so nice to have no worries and just coast along and do as everyone else does because everyone else is doing it so it must be fine right?
I have never done anything as everyone else does (and sometimes I know that just drives my husband and kids nuts) but I sometimes wonder if it is an easier life just do to as everyone else does. No thinking involved.
Is this making sense? lol
The reason I posted this here is that I know the mamas here at MDC are a well informed bunch, regardless of their views, the mamas here have done their research. Do you ever think it would be nice not to think?
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#2 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:26 PM
 
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This reminds me of the investigation into the Ezzos because some babies got very sick due to not eating enough, because of their CIO advice.

Way to detach from your baby.
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#3 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't ask who their ped was but I want to know so I asked dh to find out. My ped is fantastic but I would hate to find out if it was someone in the same practice!
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#4 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:29 PM
 
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I know what you mean. It would be so nice to just let someone else make all my hard decisions. Just assume they mean the best and absolve myself mentally of any responsibility. Because of course if something goes wrong it wouldn't be my fault, its what someone else told me to do!

Free will is just such a burden.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#5 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:33 PM
 
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I wonder if a pediatrician really did say that or is that's what the Mom "heard." Seriously, even formula pushing pediatricians probably would not recommend TWELVE hours without food for a 5 day old baby. I don't get it.

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#6 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No no he's four months old now going for twelve hours. His schedule when he was five days old was cry for twenty minutes sleep for two hours, eat, cry for twenty minutes, sleep for two hours, eat, etc..
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#7 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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I have been wanting to post the same kind of thread lately! Sometimes I wish I could be ignorant. It seems like would be so much easier sometimes.

I was blindly ignorant when pregnant with ds. I had an elective induction (doc told me those c-section stats on inductions weren't right!), I had an epidural, ds was circ'd, I bf but I also gave formula for "the extra vitamins," etc. Then I stumbled across MDC Most of the time I AM glad I came here and had my eyes opened and have learned to question everything.

However as I dive deeper and deeper into the land of free-thinking sometimes I wish I could just back-peddle. For instance I just discovered the Nutrition forum here and how regular cow's milk has hormones and anti-biotics in it! I had no idea! So now I have to go out and buy organic milk at $6 for just half a gallon...before, in my ignorant bliss, I could have bought three whole gallons of milk for that price!

And sometimes I just hate being the "weird one."

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#8 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 05:55 PM
 
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Oh and some 4 mos old baby definitely can go 12 hours at night. Mine did, even though he was bf and we never did any sort of CIO. However this kid was obviously trained and the thought of that poor baby just makes me feel physically ill.

My best friend did this to her kid. Then at 3 mos old her dd was diagnosed with failure to thrive (not a shock there although it was for my friend) and for the next 6 mos her ped told her she had to wake her dd up every 2 hours all night long and give her a bottle. I have to say I kind of silently smirked at that one. Oh and I should say her dd is over a year now and is small but healthy (although she's only 18 lbs and forward facing but that's a whole 'nother rant).

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#9 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:00 PM
 
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Some days I would like to return to my ignorance is bliss days. The constant state of horror I walk around in gets tiring.

Kathy-Mom to Blake & Mikaela
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#10 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kewb
Some days I would like to return to my ignorance is bliss days. The constant state of horror I walk around in gets tiring.
Agreed. It can also get very depressing.
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#11 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:11 PM
 
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ignorance is bliss.. I miss bliss..but there are just a few things I wish I didn't know.. but I guess you can't unknow something so instead..I soldier on..with my burden of knowledge..:
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#12 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kewb
Some days I would like to return to my ignorance is bliss days. The constant state of horror I walk around in gets tiring.
but

I agree - lately, I've been trying to just focus on my family. Are we happy and healthy because of our choices? YES....... well OK then, I'm going to ignore the world today.
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#13 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelsi

However as I dive deeper and deeper into the land of free-thinking sometimes I wish I could just back-peddle. For instance I just discovered the Nutrition forum here and how regular cow's milk has hormones and anti-biotics in it! I had no idea! So now I have to go out and buy organic milk at $6 for just half a gallon...before, in my ignorant bliss, I could have bought three whole gallons of milk for that price!

And sometimes I just hate being the "weird one."
Omg food is a huge part of this too! I wish I didn't have to read every label and make sure it has whole grains, no corn syrup or hydrogenated oils, etc. It would be so nice to walk into the supermarket and buy the 50 cent overly processed white bread and the $1 pack of overly processed and oddly discolored "cheese" and call it a day lol.
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#14 of 18 Old 08-02-2006, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelsi
Oh and some 4 mos old baby definitely can go 12 hours at night. Mine did, even though he was bf and we never did any sort of CIO. However this kid was obviously trained and the thought of that poor baby just makes me feel physically ill.
Yeah I never had one of those kids that sleep so I'm always amazed when I meet someone who has a child that actually sleeps!
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#15 of 18 Old 08-04-2006, 11:35 AM
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I definitely know where you're coming from. How sad for a 5 day old baby.

M, mom to DS1 (8 yrs), DS2 (5 yrs), and DS3 (2 yrs).

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#16 of 18 Old 08-04-2006, 11:50 AM
 
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My dh always says, "Stupid is happy"
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#17 of 18 Old 08-04-2006, 11:55 AM
 
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It might be nice to stop thinking.

But then when you are old and helpless and that baby is responsible for your care, you'd better hope they don't treat their mom like they were treated: neglect, ignoring a need for company and compassion, not feeding you or giving you drinks often enough, not making sure you have kind caregivers.

I wonder if people who parent like this have deep, deep seated trauma from being neglected/abused themselves as babies. Do you think the grandparents parented in a similar way?

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#18 of 18 Old 08-04-2006, 11:58 AM
 
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I noticed this when I went back to school at an, uhhhh ... advanced age. With every new class I completed, I knew more, but I was less happy, in a way. More cynical. Less complacent.

Knowledge is definitely a double-edged sword.

And CIOing a 5-day old baby? The thought makes my heart hurt.
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