I saw a 3 year old walking up the street today - ALONE! - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 12:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My opinion is not that this mom is lazy, it's that she's just poorly informed. She has young twins and a three year old, and I'm betting she's pulled in a million different directions. She's very involved with a few women who live on our street, and they are all very much into the decorating of their homes. I like to decorate too, but there's definitely a sense of competition to have your home looking "just so". I'm finding that hard to do with my five year old and my two year old. I can't even imagine what it must be like for her with her three. But, she's managed to get her home looking very nice, and she's been here a year longer than I have. I think she's actually very hard working, just maybe not so tuned in to the needs of her kids.

Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean it's okay. If the neighborhood thinks it's okay for little ones to walk the streets unattended, that doesn't mean the kids are safe.

I'm really not going to be doing anything about it, but worry. I wish there was something I COULD do. Calling CPS is far too extreme, although if something happens, I'll feel guilty the rest of my life. I do agree that it's a pretty slim chance of anything happening, but that's not enough for me to feel better or compelled to step in.

I'm just so sad that this is okay with her. I'm sad that she doesn't have better support to know better and make better choices. I wish there wasn't this big push to make kids grow up too quickly. But, I really don't think there's anything i can do, and that makes me sad too.
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#152 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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There is something you can do.
Be her friend. Keep an eye out for her kid, and ALL neighborhood kids, to the degree that you can. Foster an environment of community, by how you treat others and their kids.

I grew up on a cul-de-sac in urban LOS ANGELES of all places. The big, bad city of the fallen angels.

There were about 10 kids on our street, all around the same age. We all ran up and down the street, alone or together, from about age 5 on.. because ALL the parents on our street knew eachother and kept an eye out. We ran in and out of each others houses, we played kickball in the cul-de-sac.. the older ones watched the younger ones.. but SOME parent on that street knew where we were at all times.

Bad things happened anyway... though not fatally bad, thank God. There were men that drove by and exposed themselves. Men who DID try to pick up some of the kids. But the folks on our street made a point to know each other and someone always had an eye out.

Unfortunately, that's not the norm anymore. But we can MAKE it the norm if we put out a little effort. Everyone wants their kid to be safe. People CAN exchange phone numbers, they can throw an eye out when they are home. They can sit on their porches if they have them, they can get to know their neighbors and create safe havens for kids. They can help each other, if it is a priority to do so.

A lot more effective than bloody calling CPS and making parents live in fear of each other, in my book.
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#153 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 12:55 PM
 
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Excellent idea, Asherah. I like to be proactive rather than reactive.
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#154 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 12:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by asherah View Post
There is something you can do.
Be her friend. Keep an eye out for her kid, and ALL neighborhood kids, to the degree that you can. Foster an environment of community, by how you treat others and their kids.

I grew up on a cul-de-sac in urban LOS ANGELES of all places. The big, bad city of the fallen angels.

There were about 10 kids on our street, all around the same age. We all ran up and down the street, alone or together, from about age 5 on.. because ALL the parents on our street knew eachother and kept an eye out. We ran in and out of each others houses, we played kickball in the cul-de-sac.. the older ones watched the younger ones.. but SOME parent on that street knew where we were at all times.

Bad things happened anyway... though not fatally bad, thank God. There were men that drove by and exposed themselves. Men who DID try to pick up some of the kids. But the folks on our street made a point to know each other and someone always had an eye out.

Unfortunately, that's not the norm anymore. But we can MAKE it the norm if we put out a little effort. Everyone wants their kid to be safe. People CAN exchange phone numbers, they can throw an eye out when they are home. They can sit on their porches if they have them, they can get to know their neighbors and create safe havens for kids. They can help each other, if it is a priority to do so.

A lot more effective than bloody calling CPS and making parents live in fear of each other, in my book.
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#155 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 01:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asherah View Post
There is something you can do.
Be her friend. Keep an eye out for her kid, and ALL neighborhood kids, to the degree that you can. Foster an environment of community, by how you treat others and their kids.

I grew up on a cul-de-sac in urban LOS ANGELES of all places. The big, bad city of the fallen angels.

There were about 10 kids on our street, all around the same age. We all ran up and down the street, alone or together, from about age 5 on.. because ALL the parents on our street knew eachother and kept an eye out. We ran in and out of each others houses, we played kickball in the cul-de-sac.. the older ones watched the younger ones.. but SOME parent on that street knew where we were at all times.

Bad things happened anyway... though not fatally bad, thank God. There were men that drove by and exposed themselves. Men who DID try to pick up some of the kids. But the folks on our street made a point to know each other and someone always had an eye out.

Unfortunately, that's not the norm anymore. But we can MAKE it the norm if we put out a little effort. Everyone wants their kid to be safe. People CAN exchange phone numbers, they can throw an eye out when they are home. They can sit on their porches if they have them, they can get to know their neighbors and create safe havens for kids. They can help each other, if it is a priority to do so.

A lot more effective than bloody calling CPS and making parents live in fear of each other, in my book.


A big "yeah that". It's really what we all want for our own kids, yk?

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#156 of 156 Old 01-13-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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I said "lazy" because I think it's lazy parenting. Maybe she's not lazy generally, but sometimes people just do things that are easiest, without thinking of the consequences. I'm sure she doesn't want her child to be hurt or abducted!!!...but, she is not being proactive to make SURE it doesn't happen. Why would anyone even take that chance, however small?

I'm not suggesting being unkind to her, I'm not saying to lock her away. Maybe she should read some articles on abduction, and traffic safety, and why it's not a good idea to send a tiny child out alone. But my thinking is: If I was too "busy" to make sure my small child got from Point A to Point B safely...my CHILD, my priority in life!...then I would consider myself lazy.
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