What did Dr Spock do? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-26-2007, 04:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama Dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Apparently on MDC
Posts: 10,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Weird way to get to my question: The older man across the street appears to be moving out today. I am *assuming* he's going to a nursing home as the house he's in, he built himself and has lived in for 60some years. I commented on it to my dad and he said that family just don't take care of their parents anymore. I had to make the comment that no, not everyone has wonderful daughters like me (at least he agreed!)...then he started a mini tirade about the evil Dr Spock and how families fell apart after he become popular. I said, well there's a new doc (Dr Sears) who's a better role model and is making himself known and hopefully will do some good.

Anyway, so what was up with Dr Spock? I've heard my parents rant about him before, but I haven't heard any specifics though.

(yes I know I need to get cleaning)

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
Mama Dragon is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-26-2007, 04:59 PM
 
Cujobunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know exactly what his philosophies were, but he sure was popular back in the day.

OT, I was totally thinking this was going to be about Mr. Spock, from Star Trek : duhhhh pregnancy brain.

Amanda - wife to DH Kellyjog.gif, Mummers to Trentreading.gif born 03/03/05 Bridgetdust.gif born 08/08/07 and a IT'S A BOY! Kennedy babyboy.gifborn 02/20/11!
Cujobunny is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:06 PM
 
Crazy Basil's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, I don't know any specifics, but I do know that DP's parents were young, naive parents during that time and they did things like hold DP and his brother down in their cribs while they were crying until they fell asleep because it's what they thought they were supposed to do according to Dr. Spock. : :Puke (Apparently the "wisdom" of the time was that babies were supposed to sleep on their stomaches to avoid aspirating spit-up so DP's parents were terrified that DP and his brother would fall asleep on their backs and choke to death... Sigh.)

I do recall hearing that once he'd actually had children he wrote a whole other book from the really infamous one, basically recanting everything he'd written in it. Not sure if that's actually true or not though. Would be nice.
Crazy Basil is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:12 PM
 
mamaley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 6,212
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought that Dr. Spock was blamed for parents of that generation being too permissive, which resulted in a bunch of hippies running amok in the 60s

eta it doesn't mention the hippie stuff here, but he did advocate for babies, saying that it's impossible to spoil a baby, etc. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Spock
mamaley is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:12 PM
 
nicole lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've pnly ever heard good things about Spock - that he was the Dr Sears of his time. Wiki (not always a good source) states this:

Benjamin McLane Spock (May 2, 1903 – March 15, 1998) was an American pediatrician whose book Baby and Child Care, published in 1946, is one of the biggest best-sellers of all time. Its revolutionary message to mothers was that "you know more than you think you do." Spock was the first pediatrician to study psychoanalysis to try to understand children's needs and family dynamics. His ideas about childcare influenced several generations of parents to be more flexible and affectionate with their children, and to treat them as individuals, whereas the previous conventional wisdom had been that child rearing should focus on building discipline, and that, e.g., babies should not be "spoiled" by picking them up when they cried.
nicole lisa is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:12 PM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dr. Benjamin Spock was a parenting guru in the 1950's and 60's and his book is still in print.

To people in his day he was a radical because he was gentler than what came before.

To moms now he might seem awful because he recommended CIO.

In his latest revisions before he died he recommended ditching cow's milk completely.

I never heard that before about him destroying families though.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:15 PM
 
Thalia the Muse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I thought that Dr. Spock was blamed for parents of that generation being too permissive, which resulted in a bunch of hippies running amok in the 60s
This is the version I've always heard too -- that He Tore America Apart by encouraging parents not to spank and to cuddle their babies, which is why We Have No Moral Fibre Today.
Thalia the Muse is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:16 PM
 
Maple Leaf Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Over the edge and into the abyss
Posts: 2,318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aahhhh, that makes me so sad to hear about older people moving out of the houses they have always lived in. That breaks my heart! My Dad (80) is in the same situation. He's lived in the same house (large 3 story house) for about 45 years. And while we have tried to get him to move to a condo, he has in no uncertain terms told us he will only leave the house dead.
Getting old just sucks so bad!

I know my Dad didn't like Spock either. I think he referred to him as a crackpot. Though my very AP sister (just turned 50) was very into him. He was the Dr. Sears before there was a Dr. Sears. I think he was more touchy feely than what parents were used to being told at the time. God forbid someone tells a parent to hold their child and follow their instincts! This was just so contrary to what they were used to being told that people thought he was the anti christ telling them how to raise their kids-who would then turn into hooligans because they were held.
Imagine the CIO/strict parenting groups today being the only way to parent. Then along comes some guy saying -you're all wrong you need to hug and kiss your child, not give them a "cuff behind the ear" when they are upset etc. You can imagine the uproar.
And now we are seeing it all over again with the CIO crowd VS the Dr. Sears lovers. Same crap, different generation.
And I am in the lover group for sure. I was positively tingly watching him on Dr. Phil last week.
Maple Leaf Mama is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:19 PM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Keep in mind that not everything at Wikipedia is true...but this link says the book came out in '46 just in time for the baby boomers and was anti-spanking and anti-scheduling which made parents at that time furious. (I've seen old copies myself and yes they are pro CIO and anti family bed.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Spock

Thinking of some wars at other boards about parenting, I see things haven't changed in that dept.!

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 05:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
Mama Dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Apparently on MDC
Posts: 10,555
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Got it. Makes sense. My parents are very much into physical and mental abuse/punishment, so they would feel Spock ruined the world. My oldest 3 siblings were beaten badly quite often and they're all screwed up...my yongest bro and I are screwed up or other reasons...we got a few beatings, but not so much because we could out run our parents.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
Mama Dragon is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 07:29 PM
 
PikkuMyy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: hmmm
Posts: 7,271
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Synthea™ View Post
Got it. Makes sense. My parents are very much into physical and mental abuse/punishment, so they would feel Spock ruined the world. My oldest 3 siblings were beaten badly quite often and they're all screwed up...my yongest bro and I are screwed up or other reasons...we got a few beatings, but not so much because we could out run our parents.
I'm so sorry!


Early intervention specialist and parent consultant since 2002.
PikkuMyy is offline  
Old 01-26-2007, 07:53 PM
 
thekimballs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NH
Posts: 5,642
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here's my experience: My parents were extremely affectionate, we were all nursed past a year, never scheduled, co-slept, natural childbirth, etc. and they HATE Spock.

Their beef is that he was very much in favor of child-led actions, that your kid chooses to do certain things (instead of your responsibility being to make sure that he does certain things). My parents firmly believe that he ushered in the new spectacularly selfish "ME" generation (beginning in the 70s) that has been taught that their own satisfaction, their own pleasure, is the best and only goal.

This is in huge contrast to the parents of that generation, who had gone through the Depression and WWII and had been taught that the greatest good was to sacrifice yourself for your family and for others. In the 40s and 50s, it was taken for granted that you'd keep even extremely infirm parents until they died. My mom, for example, grew up (in the 50s) in a four-bedroom single-family home with her parents, her four siblings, and BOTH sets of grandparents. Her own father had been accepted to MIT right before the Depression, but when his parents' money disappeared had given up his educational dreams and instead married at 19 and devoted his life to caring for his family. He became a traveling salesman for a paint company, so was away for days and weeks at a time. One grandfather was extremely senile and needed constant care, a grandmother was crippled by arthritis, another grandfather was relatively hale but still needed normal daily care. NOBODY complained--it was considered a mark of shame to put your parents "in a home" as long as you could eke out enough money to put corn and beans on the table for everyone.

So a Spock baby would supposedly think that he or she should not have to be made uncomfortable by moving back home to take care of an elderly parent, to give up a career, to move states, etc.

(Note that my own opinions are not reflected here; just reporting what I understand to be the case.)
thekimballs is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off