Family/ Special Needs Locker Rooms - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Who should use the family locker room?
ONLY those with special needs and a parent/caretaker with a child of the opposite gender 30 32.26%
Special Needs, parents/caretakers with children regardless of gender 59 63.44%
Special needs, parents/caretakers with children, couples without children 2 2.15%
other- I'm sure I forgot something 2 2.15%
Voters: 93. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-23-2007, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
papercranegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 484
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I might have misunderstood the concept but it seems like everyone and their brother (and sister) uses the family locker room at our Y. It's to the point where often times older children are having to use the segregated locker rooms on their own or younger children of the opposite gender are "snuck" into their parents locker room. So, when you see a sign on the door that reads "This Locker Room is Reserved for use by Families and Individuals with Special Needs" What does it mean to you?

For clarification-
The policy is that children over the age of one and accompanied by a parent of the opposite sex must use the family locker room.

The family locker room is smaller than the men's or women's locker room.
papercranegirl is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-23-2007, 07:48 PM
 
mommykmm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 238
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by papercranegirl View Post
I might have misunderstood the concept but it seems like everyone and their brother (and sister) uses the family locker room at our Y. It's to the point where often times older children are having to use the segregated locker rooms on their own or younger children af the opposite gender are "snuck" into their parents locker room. So when you see a sign on the door that reads
"This Locker Room is Reserved for use by Families and Individuals with Special Needs" What does it mean to you?

For clarification-
The policy is that children over the age of one and accompanied by a parent of the opposite sex must use the family locker room.

The family locker room is smaller than the men's or women's locker room.
We have a similar policy at our Y. There are girls' and boys' locker rooms (for someone accompanying a child of their same sex who is under 18), men's and women's locker rooms for people over age 18. And then the family/special needs locker rooms -- 4 of them, two with toilets and showers, and two that just have a bench and a changing table -- designed for use by a group of people such as a family. Our Y's age policy is that children over age 5 have to get dressed in a locker room appropriate for their sex or use the family locker rooms. I generally find that families use the locker rooms -- a dad and his school age daughters for example. My whole family -- DH, me and three kids will usually dress and shower in a family locker room if there's one available. If not, we divide up by gender and go into the boys/girls rooms with the kids. We are always aware that there is usually a line to get into the family locker rooms so we try to hurry the kids along when we're in there. If I need to shower and am with my 3 yo DS when the big kids are in school I use a family locker room, too. DS is a runner and if we weren't in the family locker room, he could very easily open the regular locker room door and run out, leaving me to chase after him wearing nothing but a towel. : I don't know if that would be a "special need" in anyone else's book, but it is in mine!

Maybe you could talk to the director at your Y or fill out a comment card asking them to clarify and perhaps enforce the age guidelines for the family locker rooms.
mommykmm is offline  
Old 02-23-2007, 07:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
papercranegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 484
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommykmm View Post
Maybe you could talk to the director at your Y or fill out a comment card asking them to clarify and perhaps enforce the age guidelines for the family locker rooms.
I might. I just wanted to see if I misundersttod the concept first. (I voted for #2) I have seen a lot of adult couples use the room just to share a gym bag and a group of mixed gender friends use it just so that they'd be able to keep hanging out together :
papercranegirl is offline  
Old 02-23-2007, 08:03 PM
 
jocelyndale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Charlottesville, VA
Posts: 3,546
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At our gym, the family locker room is also wheelchair friendly. But use isn't limited to families or folks with limited mobility. It's entirely appropriate that couples sharing a bag might use it. And I know folks who are modest and prefer to change in a private room who use one of the changing rooms (four changing rooms, each with a shower, toilet, sink). The family changing room *is* small. There are a few dozen lockers and then the four changing/shower rooms.

I'm irritated that our gym deems opposite sex children too old for a parents' locker room around 3-4. I don't like the family changing rooms. The floor is always dirtier because the changing rooms are all-in-one type rooms, so people wear outside shoes in there. In the regular locker rooms, the showers are separate, so folks only wear shower shoes in that area.

Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.

jocelyndale is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 12:34 AM
 
rere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would think it would be for people with special needs and their parent or caretaker regardless of sex and parents or care takers with children of the opposite sex.

rere is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 11:43 AM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
There just needs to be more "special" rooms. Where dd takes swim lessons, it's divided between 3 areas (women's, men's, and "other" not sure the title as I never go there)
Thing is the "other" room is just one big room, so only 1 family/group can be in there at one time. The place has back to back lessons.
Now, most of the mixed gender families (mostly moms with sons) use the women's room. my dd hates this, modestly has kicked in big time and she doesn't like changing with peers (dc up to the age of 8). so she runs to one of the 2 bathrooms to change.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 01:55 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 11,638
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Any parent with young children should be able to use the family room. I personally don't feel comfortable with my 8 year old going in to the mens locker room alone.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 02:00 PM
 
TigerTail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
Posts: 8,660
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No kids under 10 in the adult locker rooms, period (oh, if they only enforced it ). So obviously, people with small children are intended to use the family ones.
TigerTail is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 02:09 PM
 
Dreaming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Very grateful.
Posts: 3,316
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jocelyndale View Post
At our gym, the family locker room is also wheelchair friendly. But use isn't limited to families or folks with limited mobility. It's entirely appropriate that couples sharing a bag might use it. And I know folks who are modest and prefer to change in a private room who use one of the changing rooms (four changing rooms, each with a shower, toilet, sink). The family changing room *is* small. There are a few dozen lockers and then the four changing/shower rooms.

I'm irritated that our gym deems opposite sex children too old for a parents' locker room around 3-4. I don't like the family changing rooms. The floor is always dirtier because the changing rooms are all-in-one type rooms, so people wear outside shoes in there. In the regular locker rooms, the showers are separate, so folks only wear shower shoes in that area.
I think that a couple sharing a gym back is a misuse for the special needs/family locker room. If that couple has children along or one spouse is physically handicapped somehow and needs assistance, then fine.
However, 2 fully capable adults using the family/special needs locker room is absurd. As a mother of 2 small children, I am not amused when I have to wait for long periods of time outside of a family restroom only to have 2 able bodied adults walk out 5 minutes later.

DS 6 DD 8
Dreaming is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 03:27 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 11,638
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreaming View Post
I am not amused when I have to wait for long periods of time outside of a family restroom only to have 2 able bodied adults walk out 5 minutes later.
Me neither.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 04:44 PM
 
Altair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it can be used by anyone. Closer to my heart is the issue of gender and bathrooms/changing rooms and how that relates the violence against people with *different* gender expressions. Transgendered people have an EXTREMELY hard time figuring out with bathroom/changing room to use b/c women will complain that they are intimidated by them and men will be violent. It's an extremely serious issue.

I think everyone should have the option. We don't know what someone's reasons are.
Altair is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 04:53 PM
 
Momtwice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 10,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There may be same-gender families (dad and sons/mom and daughters etc.) who use the family changing room because the single-sex one simply does not meet their needs in some way.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
Momtwice is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 05:05 PM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we have the same issue ar our Y -- there are only 3 little family rooms -- and always full

IMO

a mom or dad with more than one child to chase should be able to use one

a mom or dad with a child of the other gender over 3 or 4 should use them

a mom or dad with a SN child of any age or gender should use one if they feel the need

an adult couple -- where one adult needs the assistance of the other adult -- should be able to use them

a mom and dad WITH at least one child, should use one


a childless couple should NOT -- they can be apart a few minutes to dress in the correct locker rooms.

if there were enough rooms -- then i would be open to any one usesing them -- buttttt having had a number of times that one was not open to us (when DS was too small to stand up -- so we had to take turns holding him to change, so me taking him in the girls room with me was a bad option) -- i think -- manners state that the pople who have more clear need should get them.

JMHO

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 06:30 PM
 
Kari_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think your YMCA is discriminating against families. The policy requiring children over the age of 1 and under the age of 10 to use the single family locker room available is ridiculous. If there were more private changing areas available, then more members could be accomodated.

Our YMCA only has two family changing rooms, only one has a shower and there is always a wait. Plus you can't leave your items in the room, you have to find a locker in another room. Not exactly the solution I am looking for when I am trying to meet the 'no kids over 5 yo in opposite sex locker room' rule. Yet that is the only solution I am offered when I bring it up.

I don't even care if a childless couple uses the family changing room, it isn't worth my energy to be upset. They might appear 'normal' but maybe one member has a handicap that isn't readily apparent.

Considering the number of threads, complaints and issues I've seen regarding YMCA locker room policies, the YMCA needs to get their act together.
Kari_mom is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 07:03 PM
 
kate~mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,755
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
at our ymca you have to get a key for it, and BOY - it is WAY nicer than the regular locker rooms, so i was thrilled when ds was a boy and we are able to use it. showers with a shower curtain, private changing area outside of each shower, huge lockers, towels. it rocks.

for ours, if you have a child over 1 and a caregiver of the opposite sex, you use the family/special needs locker room.
kate~mom is offline  
Old 02-24-2007, 10:00 PM
 
MomToKandE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
IMO

a mom or dad with more than one child to chase should be able to use one

a mom or dad with a child of the other gender over 3 or 4 should use them

a mom or dad with a SN child of any age or gender should use one if they feel the need

an adult couple -- where one adult needs the assistance of the other adult -- should be able to use them

a mom and dad WITH at least one child, should use one


a childless couple should NOT -- they can be apart a few minutes to dress in the correct locker rooms.
: That's my opinion too. When we go as a family dd goes in the ladies' locker room with me and ds goes with dh. When dh takes dd to her swim lesson they use a family changing room. When I take dd to the swim lesson we go in the ladies' room.

Mom to (5) (9)
MomToKandE is offline  
Old 02-25-2007, 12:31 AM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for agreeing

when DS way tiny -- we used one together so we could take turns holding him. Now DH goes to his and I take DS -- able to stand and tot around while i change to the ladies, soon enough he will go to the men's with dh. Now if i was alone with 2 or 3, no matter the age -- i would use the family, if there wasn't someone else who needed it more, so that i wouldn't have to chase sooooooooo much in teh lady's room.

I appercipate people with body image issues -- buttttttttttttt they can change in teh potty stalls, or showers with cutrains -- not ideal, i admit -- but with family locker room so limited, it has to be -- IMO -- reserved for families who really need it.

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Old 02-25-2007, 02:04 PM
 
Altair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
Thanks for agreeing

when DS way tiny -- we used one together so we could take turns holding him. Now DH goes to his and I take DS -- able to stand and tot around while i change to the ladies, soon enough he will go to the men's with dh. Now if i was alone with 2 or 3, no matter the age -- i would use the family, if there wasn't someone else who needed it more, so that i wouldn't have to chase sooooooooo much in teh lady's room.

I appercipate people with body image issues -- buttttttttttttt they can change in teh potty stalls, or showers with cutrains -- not ideal, i admit -- but with family locker room so limited, it has to be -- IMO -- reserved for families who really need it.

AImee
who are you including as people with "body images"? People who are embarassed of their bodies, or people who are transgendered? In either case, I wouldn't presume to know WHY someone couldn't change in front of people and needed total privacy. The person could be a rape survivor, abuse survivor, or could be working through any number of different traumas.

Why isn't the solution just to ask for more family rooms?

I guess this hits on a pet peeve of mine. Who gets to define what a "family" is? I do NOT interpret the word "family" as meaning there must be children.


ETA: my tangent was not directed at the PP, just a general tangent.
Altair is offline  
Old 02-25-2007, 02:17 PM
 
Momma Aimee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in South Texas and ready to go home
Posts: 9,304
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i totally agree that many more private changing rooms would be ideal and the best all around solution for everyone ------ but in our case the bulidig is NEW, here, and there are only 3 for a place that is always full....and this si the "family Y" wioth the water activity center (not just a lap pool) and so on.............sooooooo getting more rooms is not going to happen, not even an old building up for remodle........... so in teh mean time we have to make the best plan that works for the most people.

I have e-mail re: thisisuee to the Y and they don't have a good soultion "we can no police the rooms, nor denie memebers use of them"

so basically "F-you we don't care and refuse to help"

---- I think when the space is limited, the use of it also much be llimited to maximize use by thoese who need it more.

for example -- i would still like to use a fam room when DH adn I take DS -- but to allow others with more of a need, i take him in teh ladies room with me and chace him while i change -- trying to keep him from wandering off or bothering other members --- most of whom, TG find him cute ---- wheile DH dresses in teh men's room. I know that while it would be nicer for me, it is more necessary for others.

I do not think tehre are any perfect answeres

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
Momma Aimee is offline  
Old 02-25-2007, 03:13 PM
 
calngavinsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ontario Canada....EH!?!
Posts: 1,992
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At our local Y, they have several lockerrooms. All are wheelchair/special needs friendly, so there is not a separate one for that but there are:
1 General mens
2 Membership plus mens
3 General womens
4 Membership plus Womens
5 Mothers with young sons
6 Fathers with young daughters

#s 5&6 are for parents with kids of the opposite sex who are under 7 years of age.

With so many available, I think it is pretty self explanitory whre you are supposed to be.

In the case of yours though, I think "family" would mean anyone who doesn't "fit" into the other available spots.

Take care,
Tara

Tara Momma to Callum and Gavin
calngavinsmom is offline  
Old 02-25-2007, 07:34 PM
 
tboroson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Honalee
Posts: 6,187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It really depends on the total arrangement of family rooms, and the particular family situation.

At our Y, there are four Special Needs private rooms. There are regular locker rooms for adults only. Then there are regular locker rooms for families. This is informally interpreted as, women with any gender of young kids or with only older girls go into the "girls" room; men with boys of any age go into the "boys" room; men with girls of any age or women with older boys go into the special needs rooms. I've used the special needs rooms instead of the regular girl's locker room because, after swimming, my girls are often tired, distractable and prone to crankiness. Taking them into a public locker room has sometimes proven to be... difficult. It's much easier to manage them in that state in a smaller, private space without blow driers and cutesy painted stepstools and curtains and other kids and so on. I've seen a lot of families use the special needs rooms for that same reason. A crowd of tired young kids together in the locker room after a swim lesson is chaotic and stressful.
tboroson is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off