A Neighbor problem *update post 55* - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So we moved here in January. Now that it's spring I've started putting out planters and lawn decorations. We have these neighbors who keep sending their kids (who I don't know over into our yard to play) I don't want them here. They aren't playing with MY kids they shouldn't be here.

The kids broke one of our Solar Lights. We didn't care thought it was an accident (so we thought). I just went outside (the kids were out in our yard from 7pm to 9 pm last night) and 2 of my garden gnomes are broken and so was one of my birdfeeders!!!!! One of the Gnomes was THROWN!!!! I am steamed upset and soooo soooo mad I'm shaking!!

The parents won't do anything when the kids broke the lamp I requested the kids stay OUT of our yard and it didn't work. NOW They've broken 2 gnomes which I got from my grandmother and my birdfeeder which my brother made for me in highschool! I'm just at my wits end
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#2 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:23 AM
 
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Post a sign that says Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted.
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#3 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Where would I get one? I'm literally in tears over my gnomes
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#4 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:27 AM
 
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Where would I get one?
Local hardware store.
I would be so mad at their lack of kindness towards a neighbor. I'd contact the parents just so they know you aren't going to back down.

Kim , mom to Amanda (16):, William (13), and Annie (5)
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#5 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Local hardware store.
I would be so mad at their lack of kindness towards a neighbor. I'd contact the parents just so they know you aren't going to back down.
Good idea. I think I'll go over there today when they are showing signs of life. I'm going to pick up a sign today
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#6 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:38 AM
 
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That is absolutely not acceptable! I'm mad for you. I never cease to be amazed at the lack of responsibility of some people. How could you not care if your child/children vandalized someone's home/yard?
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#7 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:39 AM
 
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omg you mean that they KNEW that their kids broke your lamp and they did not offer to compensate and still send their kids over to your yard despite you telling them not to?? : Its so rude and inconsiderate that I am not even sure I get it. : If this is the case then they obviously have no consideration for you and your family/property at all and I wouldnt bother being nice. I might request for compensation even. Is there a way to gate/fence up your yard? And definitely put that sign up!

Oh wait, or do you mean that their parents didnt know that they are purposely breaking/throwing your stuff? If this is the case, then I'll inform them nicely. And if they are nice people who are very apologetic and offered to make ammends in any way, I'll just request for their kids to stay out from the yard. If not, then its the above.
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#8 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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omg you mean that they KNEW that their kids broke your lamp and they did not offer to compensate and still send their kids over to your yard despite you telling them not to?? : Its so rude and inconsiderate that I am not even sure I get it. : If this is the case then they obviously have no consideration for you and your family/property at all and I wouldnt bother being nice. I might request for compensation even. Is there a way to gate/fence up your yard? And definitely put that sign up!

Oh wait, or do you mean that their parents didnt know that they are purposely breaking/throwing your stuff? If this is the case, then I'll inform them nicely. And if they are nice people who are very apologetic and offered to make ammends in any way, I'll just request for their kids to stay out from the yard. If not, then its the above.
The parents KNEW their kids broke the lamp and they claimed the kids told them it was an accident. At the time I could see that being true. And Told them to please please keep the kids out of my yard.

The kids stayed out of our yard for about a week and then came back. Now that 3 things were broken in 1 night and my gnome thrown I know it's NOT an accident they are being distructive. There is no way to gate off our yard cause we rent.

We live in a double and in a culdesac of other doubles and these people seem to think that their kids have a right to be ANYWHERE in the culdesac since they are all owned by the same person but that's not true! This is OUR yard and these are MY things.

When DH gets up I'm heading over to rural kind ot buy some signs
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#9 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 08:53 AM
 
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Contact your landlord. See if they can send out a note or talk with the person directly.
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#10 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:09 AM
 
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I'd be out there yelling at them to get off my property every time I see them and if they came back after the first time I'd call the police. But I'm mean like that. WTF, they are being totally rude. And yes post a sign.
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#11 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:22 AM
 
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You should call the landlord and ask that they contact them and ask them to keep their children our of your yard. I would also demand some compensation for your broken things.
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#12 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:47 AM
 
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We have neighbor kids who think nothing of entering other people's yards through the gates to get their tennis balls from playing cricket in their postage stamp sized back yard! Despite there being a 25 acre park across the street from their house!:

I caught them in my yard at night, and all day. Once came back from a walk and caught them letting themselves into my yard.

I looked at them and said EXCUSE ME, who ARE you and why are you entering my yard?? (oh, did I mention that they have lied to my face and told me DH said they could enter whenever?):

I have told them over and over to stay out. We have a dog and they never close the gates properly.
Finally DH went and talked to the Dad. As did my neighbor-who was afraid of his kids getting out.

Just yesterday, I watched him hop over the 6 foot fence to get yet another ball next door.
Some kids don't care.

I would march over and explain that the kids broke your things--and tell what they were and the meaning to you. Tell them you would like them to pay you for the things. And if you see their kids in your yard again, you will be contacting the landlord. Because really- they seem pretty clueless to me. Since they don't care if the light was an accident. I would still have offered you money or gone out to get replacements.
Since they didn't, it suggests to me that they don't care.
So if you don't tell them up front what you want, they won't do anything for you.

And just in case they don't know, I would remind them that if those kids got hurt on your property, you could be sued.

I would also think about getting one of those low, white plastic border fences (usually used to border gardens, or to stop people from trampling saplings etc.
JUST so they are reminded where the line of demarcation is for the yards.
I'm pissed for you.
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#13 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I would also think about getting one of those low, white plastic border fences (usually used to border gardens, or to stop people from trampling saplings etc.
JUST so they are reminded where the line of demarcation is for the yards.
I'm pissed for you.
I was thinking that exactly too!!! I was at LEAST going to put it along my flowers and decorations so for SURE it's OBVIOUS this is MY stuff and to stay away!


I'm going to talk to the parents today and have DH talk to the landlady about them today when he pays rent. TY all for your suggestions
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#14 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Truly the parents don't care I don't think. The other day I was outside gardening in a tank top and their 8 year old was yelling out the window 'TAKE IT OFF' and the mom was laughing about it. Disgusting
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#15 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 09:53 AM
 
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And just in case they don't know, I would remind them that if those kids got hurt on your property, you could be sued.
I don't know that I would mention that. It might give them some ideas.
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#16 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:06 AM
 
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I don't know that I would mention that. It might give them some ideas.

Ya, I thought of that as I typed it.
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#17 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:10 AM
 
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I can be mean (and I'm a good shot), but, if it were me, I might consider getting a paintball gun and aim for bare skin. That way they couldn't deny it was them. I'd call the cops when I saw them and say "Look for a kid covered in pink paint."
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#18 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can be mean (and I'm a good shot), but, if it were me, I might consider getting a paintball gun and aim for bare skin. That way they couldn't deny it was them. I'd call the cops when I saw them and say "Look for a kid covered in pink paint."
I 'll pass. I don't want to be arrested for Cruelty and hurting a minor. Paintballs leave welts
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#19 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:16 AM
 
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I know you shouldn't have to do this, but I would also bring anything that has sentimental value or means a lot to you personally, indoors. Definitely do the things the pps have suggested also, but frankly from what you've posted I wouldn't trust these neighbors to do the right thing, and I wouldn't want any more of my stuff to get broken, either. So for the time being if there were anything out there that I'd be sick over losing, I'd probably just bring it inside.

What a crappy situation. And that tank top comment is skeevy, even coming from an 8-year-old. No, especially coming from an 8-year-old. Ick.
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#20 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:22 AM
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I can be mean (and I'm a good shot), but, if it were me, I might consider getting a paintball gun and aim for bare skin. That way they couldn't deny it was them. I'd call the cops when I saw them and say "Look for a kid covered in pink paint."
I really, really hope you were kidding. WTH?!?!?!

OP, that's absolutely awful

I would go over there with the broken items and request payment. If no payment is forthcoming, call the police and ask them to talk to the family about trespassing. If the behavior continues, take the family to small claims court for the cost of the items. And EVERY TIME you see those kids, repeat the same thing, "Go home. You aren't welcome here."
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#21 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So for the time being if there were anything out there that I'd be sick over losing, I'd probably just bring it inside.
I'll be upset about ANYTHING broken. I buy things I LOVE to make my yard nice. It's not just sentimental things. I'll be sick over ANYTHING that's broken or ruined in my yard
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#22 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:28 AM
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You have the right to decorate your yard nicely.
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#23 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:31 AM
 
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I can be mean (and I'm a good shot), but, if it were me, I might consider getting a paintball gun and aim for bare skin. That way they couldn't deny it was them. I'd call the cops when I saw them and say "Look for a kid covered in pink paint."
Ooookay. First time someone draws a gun on my kid, there WILL be ugliness. They are real weapons that can (and have!) hurt people, including blinding them. The fact that the projectiles are paintballs is completely beside the point.

Nevermind the gut-gripping fear my kids and I would feel at the sight of someone raising a gun to them.

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#24 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:34 AM
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Karen ann, I really hope you come back and say, "It was a dark joke, sorry, I would never shoot a kid," because really I am :
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#25 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:35 AM
 
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Oh, absolutely she has the right to decorate her yard. The neighbors are completely in the wrong here and I personally would be just about insane with rage that they had let their kids repeatedly come into my yard and break a bunch of my stuff. My only point was, these people do not seem trustworthy, and if there were, say, an irreplaceable heirloom from a beloved relative out there or something, I'd probably bring it in until the issue was resolved. It was just a thought I was throwing out there.

If talking to the neighbors about it politely does no good, and frankly I wouldn't be optimistic at this point, do you know anybody that could send them a letter on legal letterhead requesting that they compensate you for the cost of the broken items and refrain from allowing their children into your yard in the future? I find that legal documentation often does wonders to turn people's attitudes around. (I have an attorney friend who has been able to help us out with occasional situations like this in the past.)
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#26 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Karen ann, I really hope you come back and say, "It was a dark joke, sorry, I would never shoot a kid," because really I am :
Guys really I read her post as a joke. Please don't start an argument here I'm begging you
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#27 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If talking to the neighbors about it politely does no good, and frankly I wouldn't be optimistic at this point, do you know anybody that could send them a letter on legal letterhead requesting that they compensate you for the cost of the broken items and refrain from allowing their children into your yard in the future? I find that legal documentation often does wonders to turn people's attitudes around. (I have an attorney friend who has been able to help us out with occasional situations like this in the past.)
I really think I'm going to try the small fence and the landlord and talking to their parents. If that doesn't work I'll call the cops.
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#28 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:43 AM
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Guys really I read her post as a joke. Please don't start an argument here I'm begging you
Sorry, mama
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#29 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:47 AM
 
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If this were our situation, I'd skip to calling the cops now. The parents have already proven that they don't care that their children are commiting the crimes of trespass and vandalism.

Laughing at an 8 year old yelling "take it off"? Let them laugh when the cops show up at their door and they have to go to court.

Since you're renting, I'd be mentioning this all to the landlord too. It's his (?) homeowners' insurance that will be hit if one of the trespassers gets hurt on his property.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#30 of 63 Old 04-19-2007, 10:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Since you're renting, I'd be mentioning this all to the landlord too. It's his (?) homeowners' insurance that will be hit if one of the trespassers gets hurt on his property
OHHHHHH I didn't know that!!

I think I'll call the cops the next time they are in our yard. Cause we're close to the station so hopefully the cops would come while the kids are still here and scare the heck out of them (which I think they need)
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