Baby Showers - sorta spinoff of newborn must haves thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 08:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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First off, I'm not pg now, but I have so many friends irl that are pg or that just had babies. I've been to about 5 or 6 baby showers in the last 3 months alone - and it makes me sick! I cannot believe the amount of crap they are getting. None of these ppl are AP or "natural" in any way, so of course they're getting tons of sposies, pacis, J&J baby products, tons of plastic toys, play pens, etc.

So, my question is this: what do you do if you are pg. and you really don't want a baby shower? I know that when the time comes for me my family and friends will really want to throw one (and they usually throw huge showers with tons of guests), but I'm just so against it. For instance, I plan to ebf, co-sleep, cloth diaper, and sling. So, I don't need baby furniture, diapers, bottles (well, maybe some just in case, and a pump too, but I really plan on ebf), pacis, etc. Also, I really want to buy as much natural baby clothing as possible and only wooden/natural toys.

How would you have a baby shower if these were the things you wanted? I can't imagine asking ppl to shell out the money for these items (as many of them are more than most would want to spend), and I can imagine that if I said I was cd'ing I'd get a bunch of the gerber ones from wal-mart (which of course I wouldn't use as diapers). What do you do? Do you just politely decline to have an official shower? Do you go along with it and just return/exchange everything later on, or give it away?

sorry this turned out to be so long!
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#2 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 09:05 AM
 
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I had two showers, my friends and hubbys coworkers. I kept most of the clothing, regifted many things, returned as much as I could. We try to have all natural toys, but some things we did kept. I have friends that bought her things, and they come over,. I wanted to make sure they saw the toys, and know that I appreacite the thought. Over time people will realize you like all nautral toys. most of the plastic toys I hung from a playgym I got at a garage sale, so they do not go in her mouth she just stares at them... so that works out well.
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#3 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 09:11 AM
 
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Just make sure you tell whoever might throw you one that you would rather not. My family doesn't do that so it wasn't an issue (I think it's cultural) My husband mentioned it to his mother. I didn't want a wedding shower either. Most of my friends don't do showers (none of my childhood friends do). Is it regional, cultural, or what??

I also don't understand inviting people to showers who don't even know the person being "showered". What's up with that??
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#4 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 09:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzharmony View Post
. I didn't want a wedding shower either. Most of my friends don't do showers (none of my childhood friends do). Is it regional, cultural, or what??

I also don't understand inviting people to showers who don't even know the person being "showered". What's up with that??
I'm not sure if it's cultural or not. I live in the south (alabama) and I would say 95% of women I know or hear about have baby showers (esp. if it's their first baby). If I was pg. my familys church would host the shower (they do this for all members of the church - for babies and weddings) and there would be at least 30 ppl there that I don't even know. They ask you for a list of ppl to mail invitations to and then they post it in that week's bulletin so anyone from the church can attend. I helped open gifts and record what was given at my cousins shower a few weeks ago and she recieved over 140 individual gifts. : She knows its a girl and has the name picked out, so everthing was pink and a lot of stuff was monogramed. She got at least 20 packs of diapers and tons of wipes. She's not bf'ing at all, so she registered for tons of bottles and accessories. I remember looking at her registry (which was at wal-mart) and she seriously had at least 50 bottles and around 12 - 15 pacis. I just don't understand this at all. :
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#5 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 09:39 AM
 
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If its hard to avoid I for sure would register, most places that let you registre let you return anything bought off of it. Also potterybarn actually has some "organic" bedding right now, as well as blankets ect. If you register somewhere you can always add music cds, books as well, child proofing supplies, babiesrus carries Jason which is all natural bath stuff, and target carries california baby(love that brand), and burts bees so you can add those to your registry.
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#6 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 10:20 AM
 
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I am so with you on the amount of STUFF that is given at baby showers. Holy cow! A relative of mine is having twins and the mountain of gifts when she was finished unwrapping was as high as my head. and a good 6-8 feet wide. :

We also co-sleep, breastfeed, cloth diaper and babywear, of course, but I still found my shower to be extremely helpful. And I had three! (Family, my work, dh's work). They wrote that I would be cloth diapering/breastfeeding in the invite so no one brought formula or sposies. I didn't know what I was having so I didn't get a ton of clothes--people weren't that excited about buying green and yellow. I only got one toy and I sold it on eBay I kept a pack of Gerber prefolds for burp cloths and sold the rest on eBay. I returned some duplicates, sold the gift cards, and used the cash to buy 2 dozen bumGenius diapers.

A few other things I got that were helpful:
Boppy
Blankets
Breastmilk storage set (I did pump from time to time)
Rocking bouncy seat
thermometer
waterproof covers for twin mattress and full mattress
stroller :
lullaby CDs
car seats (2)
books
Tylenol/Motrin (we do use from time to time as a last resort, ymmv)
Photo albums/scrapbooks
baby washcloths---(make great, great great cloth diaper wipes!)
soft shoes


Can't think of anything else off the top of my head but I guess my point is that even co-sleeping, breastfeeding, etc you may find a shower helpful for the miscellaneous so you can focus on the clothes, toys, slings, and cloth diapers that can really add up. And if you register at Pottery Barn kids they have a nice block set, a wooden activity cube, and a few organics. Maybe when people see what kind of stuff you registered for it will spark some ideas and they will see you like the classic/organic stuff. Worked for us--I got some beautiful organic clothing and stuffed animals and blankets from purebeginnings.com

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#7 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 11:22 AM
 
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I know that in my circles (families and friends) baby showers are a rite of passage of sorts. My family is having one for me and so are my friends from work and school (same shower, hopefully). We plan to be AP and NFL, but I still totally appreciate the idea of a shower. Everyone I know registers, so we're just going to register at an online cloth diaper store and then some place like Target for the car seat, breast pump accessories, boppy and nursing stool.

I've been to lots of baby showers where the gifts are things like slings, fuzzy buns, baby legs, and Green Goop nipple cream, etc.. There are lots of cool natural gifts that women really appreciate. It can also be a really great way to introduce people to new stuff. The first shower I was at with fuzzy buns was really cool- a lot of people had no idea how far cloth diapers had come. It also really normalizes breast feeding when gifts are things like breast pads and nipple creams.

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#8 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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How about a book shower or a stock the freezer shower?

Also, you can register at Babies-R-Us (or Target) for plenty of things that you would use: books, music CDs, Dr. Sears book, breast pump, storage bags, bottles, washclothes (for cloth wipes), diaper pail, high chair or booster seat, car seat, potty chair, baby clothes, nursing pads, the toys you do like, photo album or baby book, etc.

Tanya
Mom to John (age 11), James (age 9) & Katherine (age 5)
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#9 of 9 Old 04-21-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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If you don't want a shower, just say so.
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