I'm an irish american girl with pale pale skin and green eyes. My three kids are all 100% european in one way or another (mostly English, Irish, and German) and they look it. My ex is a blonde haired blue eyed white boy. My dad hated him anyway because #1 he's a total UA violation and #2 he was
a convert to Islam (so am I) and my dad hates muslims (obviously I must have converted for him rather than for me... but that's another rant for another day). Anyway, aside from 9-11 and the war in Iraq and all that, the FBI came knocking on our door one day wanting to ask us questions. They were investigating an old/ex friend of ours and I insisted that we do the interview with my lawyer present... totally standard. They decided to harass my parents, showing up at my mom's place of business and my parents' home saying stuff like, "We just want to ask her some questions, why isn't she cooperating, who is she trying to protect etc." My parents were already uncomfortable with me being a muslim post 9-11. This freaked them WAY out. Everything turned out fine, we did our interview, the guy being investigated turned out to just be sortof a jerk and the closed the investigation. ANYWAY, point is, my dad hates muslims.
Fast forward to easter break. I have been involved with an Iranian man (who currently resides in as a resident of Australia) since about November. His family are not muslim. They left Iran when he was very young and lived in Dubai until they decided to go to Australia. He is kind and responsible and loving and I just adore him. My mom talked to him on the phone and thinks he sounds great. BUT... she let it slip to my dad that he's Iranian. All she was able to get out was that they're Iranian but not Muslim before my dad started YELLING at her. I didn't hear what was said, except something about the FBI, which is rediculous considering that neither my ex nor I were ever investigated... and my SO doesn't even know the dude that was investigated. He was furious, apparantly just about the fact that the dude is Iranian. All he said to me, in his loudest boldest tone, was "you're being used
" and then he went off to bed. Not that I feel I have to defend myself there, because it's absurd, but the guy is an Australian citizen and has had job offers here in the states. If he wanted to come here, he would, and he wouldn't need me to do it.
I couldn't sleep because of that argument, plus I had been arguing with my ex earlier... so I got on the computer in their house and chatted with my canadian friend. At about 2am my dad gets up and starts YELLING at me to get off his computer. Said I am only allowed to use HIS computer for WORK ONLY and certainly not to talk to "some Iranian guy". I told him I was talking to my canadian girl
friend and he just started shouting "I DON'T CARE GET OFF NOW DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE THE PASSWORD AGAIN GET OFF NOW NOW NOW!" I just looked at him and said "I am." Signed off and went to bed. I'm almost 30 years old. I felt pretty belittled. The kids and I left the next day to go home. My mom is really upset, says he hasn't always been this racist, or mean in general, and doesn't know what to do.
Obviously, Iranian = terrorist, and that's just all there is to it.
My SO and I are serious. We want to get married and we plan on having children together. Our kids will be biracial. My family NEVER accepted the fact that I converted to Islam, and it's been 9 years. I don't expect them to be accepting of my SO. I'm terrified how they will treat my future kids. To be fair, his mother is also pretty culturally driven and threatened to disown him for getting involved with me. She doesn't know I have three children yet... but I'm older, not Iranian, and divorced... which is more than enough apparently. So we're getting it on both sides.
I have never had to deal with this sort of thing before. I am stunned. I don't know what to say or how to react or even if I should bother trying? I am so worn out from having to defend my choices (my dad and my grandmother ganged up on me about Islam a few nights before this happened). I feel like... if I were a bad person, if I went out of my way to hurt people, then yeah... feel free to get on my case. But these are personal and very private choices that I don't push on anyone else. So back off! Right?