Do online communities/forums depress you? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Do online communities/ forums depress you?
Yes 15 16.13%
Sometimes 71 76.34%
Never 7 7.53%
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#1 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you get frustrated or depressed with the amount of closed-mindedness, bigotry, lack of compassion... that you see?

When I don't go online regularly I live my life--la, di, da--believing that most people believe pretty much as I do. But--ugh, I've read some stuff here recently that has really bummed me out! I guess I need a break. :
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#2 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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Sometimes, but I try to limit which boards I go to if I find that it's happening. I quit my due date forum shortly after DD was born because of how worked up I got about the mainstream parenting issues that I disagreed with. I also quit going on a support board because my situation was progressing and reading other people's posts just kept the feelings too fresh for me to get past them.

I'm assuming you're talking about the whole giant thread about SAHMing being a financial risk. It's an intense thread and it angers me sometimes too, so I just ignore it.

Kim - Wife to Liam , Unschooly mama to Nick (10/00) Lily (09/05) and Olivia (07/09)
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#3 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 04:48 PM
 
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Well, it's not the online community itself that depresses me. It's the actual mean spirited or unkind behavior that does it. Unfortunately I find that IRL too.

Actually, I find many boards outside of MDC more depressing in a mainstream kind of way. (Not naming any names...UA violations and all that. ) Places where routine circ, CIO, and hot saucing children are all routine and seen as completely normal. That depresses me right quick.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#4 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 04:49 PM
 
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Not usually. Most people I know IRL have at least a few beliefs I think are backward and ignorant and bigoted and generally sucky. Even the most obnoxious posters here have nothing on many of my husband's co-workers.

Yet, somehow I manage to eat potato salad with these people. :

And hey, I thought the SAHM thread was actually a very refreshing and generally intelligent exchange of ideas! Even if some of the ideas are less than 100 percent fired up about SAHing, which is my own lifestyle. I enjoy having my own ideas refined through debate with people who have opposing views.

So, everyone's mileage will vary.
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#5 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyferrettoes View Post
Not usually. Most people I know IRL have at least a few beliefs I think are backward and ignorant and bigoted and generally sucky. Even the most obnoxious posters here have nothing on many of my husband's co-workers.

Yet, somehow I manage to eat potato salad with these people. :
So true. I could say the same of my in-laws. :

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#6 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
Well, it's not the online community itself that depresses me. It's the actual mean spirited or unkind behavior that does it. Unfortunately I find that IRL too.
In real life, I guess I'm pretty sheltered in my nice, progressively minded community.
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#7 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:11 PM
 
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Anyplace I post, I get periodically stressed out and have to take a break. It happens.
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#8 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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i always hold out hope that with civil discourse, people may think differently about a particular issue.
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#9 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:22 PM
 
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IMO its the same IRL
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#10 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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This week has been one of those weeks where I would just want to answer "yes," but I think overall I would just say "sometimes."

coolshine.gif

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#11 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:48 PM
 
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I said sometimes. I get depressed when I run into posts containing comments about hating Christians. It also depresses me to read the news forums sometimes, usually I just stay away from them.

Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
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#12 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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Yes, I left a much loved forum I was on (before MDC) did this witch hunt thing...I couldn't take it when the paid admin and mods got in on it...I left...that forum since imploded and branched off (a few times) but the pure ignorance from the original witch hunt left me no desire to ever go back. I actually feel dirty logging on periodically to read PMs. I was depressed over that whole blow up for a while. MDC was my rebound

ETA: Some things I see on MDC are depressing but I don't let much get to me anymore.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#13 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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I get frustrated occasionally but not depressed. I don't think online communities are much different than real-life communities.

I'm not a warm-fuzzy-gentle person, don't pretend to be, and don't really sugarcoat things, so I'm sure I frustrate and depress some people on this particular board. OTOH, I don't start flame-wars or call people names, either.

I just say it like I think it. I try to be tactful but have been accused of being blunt, overly direct, and painfully honest by some of my more sensitive acquaintances and friends.

Now that I think about it, it's the overly-sensitive and inflammatory people who frustrate me.

Good news is, I don't have to return to any forum if I don't want to! Wanna get really bummed out? Go read the "rants and raves" on Craigslist. :
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#14 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:25 PM
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Well, for the time being, I've sworn off caring about people I met on the internet : It's too freaking hard.

MDC is a port in a storm, it seems.
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#15 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:28 PM
 
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Sometimes. I know that at times emotion gets the best of all of us, but I disklike how quickly some people make things personal and nasty. That's the exception, however.

I know it kinda depresses my husband that I read this board. He just shakes his head when I mention that I'm concerned about so-and-so or her children. He thinks it is a massive waste of time and that I should "stay away from internet people - they are crazy".
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#16 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crisstiana View Post
Sometimes. I know that at times emotion gets the best of all of us, but I disklike how quickly some people make things personal and nasty. That's the exception, however.
i just wrote up a lesson plan that i hope to teach (when i get a job) about this very subject. it is really important to me to teach kids about good online/electronic communication practices.
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#17 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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Sometimes. When it happens here I just take a break from News and TAO, those are really the only places that the arguments that really bother me take place. The arguing about race and gender gets to me, arguing about SAHMing or unschooling or lactivism or whatever doesn't bother me nearly as much.
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#18 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 06:43 PM
 
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I left a mainstream parenting board just before I had DD. Not so much because of the mainstream attitudes, but frankly because SO many of the women on that board couldn't spell or use correct grammar and it drove me freakin' INSANE. MDC is way, way better that way, although occasionally I will see a post that drives me a bit batty.

I'm pretty argumentative and I like a good debate, so I don't mind any of the controversy that goes on. I missed the SAHM thread though. Can someone post a link please...

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#19 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 07:24 PM
 
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I really only frequent AP?NFL boards. So not so much an issue.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#20 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 08:09 PM
 
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I think I'm aging out of one message board that I've been a part of for over 5 years. It also used to have a strong diy vibe but it's been replaced with a lot of consumerism. And since I'm past the hooking up, working on my thesis, roomate stage, there just isn't much left for me.

A lot of the posters I had stuff in common with have sort of drifted away. Then there are some posters who seem so harsh and argumentative that it really becomes tiresome.

When I leave, I'll miss some people (especially the parents who all seem like cool, down to earth people) I know some are here on MDC but I wouldn't be able to tell who's who and I have a different username as well. I know I've needed to leave for a while but I just need to decide how to do it.
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#21 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by spughy View Post
I left a mainstream parenting board just before I had DD. Not so much because of the mainstream attitudes, but frankly because SO many of the women on that board couldn't spell or use correct grammar and it drove me freakin' INSANE.


I have to admit that the internet, in general, is pretty depressing when it comes to getting a good gander at average reading levels.
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#22 of 26 Old 05-11-2007, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by 2tadpoles View Post
I'm not a warm-fuzzy-kind-gentle person, don't pretend to be, and don't really sugarcoat things, so I'm sure I frustrate and depress some people on this particular board.
That's not what gets me bummed out. I really like a good heated debate, and I'm not one to sugarcoat things either. It's really more like I'm loosing my faith in humanity. I can't believe some of the stuff some people spew out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by glendora
I have to admit that the internet, in general, is pretty depressing when it comes to getting a good gander at average reading levels.
Word.
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#23 of 26 Old 05-12-2007, 01:01 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
That's not what gets me bummed out. I really like a good heated debate, and I'm not one to sugarcoat things either. It's really more like I'm loosing my faith in humanity. I can't believe some of the stuff some people spew out.
Word.
I was feeling that way today after venturing over to the "immigration" section on Yahoo answers. I would recommend you not visit the place.
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#24 of 26 Old 05-12-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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I really don't visit other board too much outside of MDC, but yes, sometimes I do feel that way here. I don't like to see people being judgmental, competing with each other, along with the other things the OP posted.
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#25 of 26 Old 05-12-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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I used to get really frustrated and depressed when I was on another board because of all the racism and homophobia on there. I've been a lot happier since I left. I occasionally roll my eyes or shake my head at some of the things I read on MDC but I never feel like my head is going to explode the way I did on that other board.
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#26 of 26 Old 05-12-2007, 03:08 AM
 
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Sometimes I do get frustrated; I would probably have the same frustration with irl people, if I conversed much with irl people, which I don't.
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