I am so embarrassed - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh ladies, have you ever done something, like forget that you had bounced a check, and it went to collections and you forgot to pay that and now the police are reminding you that you can either pay it or go to court.

Oh, I am so embarrassed. I am off to the bank to get cash to pay it, but this happened in November and i totally forgot about it until the call today.

I don't make a habit of bad checks but oh my gosh, I can't believe i did this. My stomach hurts...this is a local place, I feel horrible. (not that if it wasn't local I wouldn't feel horrible). Honestly, it was a mistake on my part and my banks, but they (company) wouldn't put it through again and then I forgot about it. totally.

I'm a bad person.

I've never had the police call me.

how could I do this?

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#2 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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Oh, it happens. I also am very embarrassed when it happens to me, but we all let things slip. I am very guilty of it.

Don't worry. And even if you do worry, a little bit, you'll get over it!

ETA: You are not a bad person, just a busy person! Don't beat yourself up over it. You are making up for it now.
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#3 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 03:03 PM
 
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As long as you are squaring up the debt now don't sweat it. We all make mistakes, sometimes even the big stuff gets forgotten.
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#4 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 03:54 PM
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Yeah, when I do something so embarassing I play it up a little when I am putting it right - "I'm here because I'm an idiot!" or when they ask questions about did I know etc, "Oh yes I got the notice, and it totally slipped my mind, and I'm here to grovel!" Not that I really believe I'm an idiot nor do I really grovel, but something about taking complete responsibility and letting the people you're dealing with know that you're not going to yell at them, seems to ease the situation so much, and gets them on your side and being nice. (It seems like so often when people get in these situations, they blame the collectors and start screaming, so this has helped me.)

Not that I've ever had this experience or anything!
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#5 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 04:32 PM
 
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Brendon, you are SOOO not a bad person.

I am a public defender and I see hot check cases come through our courts that are the "bad people" cases. They're the ones where the defendant stole a checkbook and forged checks worth thousands. They're the cases where the defendant was the actual account-holder (so not a forgery situation), but intentionally wrote thousands of dollars worth of checks that he knew would bounce. In sum -- the bad cases are where there was an actual intent to defraud, not just a mistake.

These are typically the same folks, btw, who maintain their innocence in the face of mountains of evidence of their guilt, fail to make restitution, fail to comply with conditions of their probation, and usually are picking up new charges along the way.

Believe me, the police in your area see far, far worse than your situation. The officer who contacted you does not see you as a bad person at all. And the fact that you are taking care of it before it goes to court says it all, really.

You're not a bad person.


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#6 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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I bounced a check this week (thankfully the bank covered it - don't know why didn't think I had that kind of protection). It was totally stupid. I had client checks waiting to deposit and just didn't think about that as I merrily kept writing checks. :

Life just gets away from you occasionally. Don't sweat it too much.
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#7 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 08:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks. They guy I spoke to was very nice about it. and the police called again to let me know we are squared away.

It does feel better to have taken care of it.

Thanks everyone!

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#8 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 10:12 PM
 
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LOL, it's not that bad a thing. I regularly call people and ask them if I have paid them! Two out of five times the answer is no, or yes, but we have to wait for next month to put in the check as you put the wrong month on the check.
I've even sent two checks to two different companies, and they have then sent the check to the correct company for me. :
Dh has forgotten to pay the water bill, twice in a row. I came home to no water. I was steaming!
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#9 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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One time I wrote a check to the IRS to pay taxes, in the thousand dollar range. The money was in savings. Guess who forgot to switch it over? I was terrified I'd be arrested, but it was no biggy.

Recently I got new checks and neglected to check the account number. I get an email from a friend whom I had written a check to asking me to check as her check came back. I panicked and checked and sure enough, the account number was wrong. I called every place I had written a check and managed to stop a big fat two of them. The rest all were returned and I had to reimburse their fees. There were none on my side as the account was just unknown. But 3 of those checks were to friends, that made it worse for me.

So there you go.
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#10 of 10 Old 07-19-2007, 11:01 PM
 
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I forgot to pay a hospital bill when I was in my early twenties. Two years later a cop came knocking at my door with a summons (I think that's what it's called?). My jaw dropped and I must have looked absolutely shocked and horrified because the cop patted me on the back and told me it was really no big deal, I wasn't in real trouble or anything. I just went to court and paid the bill. The end. I did feel like a bad person, so it makes me feel better to know that others have done that, too!

Once I bounced a check buying yarn, and that was worse. The store called me and I groveled all over the place. Then I went right in to pay them and the woman was really really mean to me. I felt stupid and never went there again. They just closed a few weeks ago. Maybe I wasn't the only one they were mean to.
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