How much do you spend on a wedding shower gift? And the wedding gift? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 01:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husbands best friend of almost 30 years is getting married in September

Hubby is in the wedding, which is in beautiful Laguna Beach (Southern California) and we are leaving the kids with my parents and going BY OUR SELVES!!!!!! for a whole 4 days and 3 nights.

So, we are all set on the wedding gift, and I am off today to pick out a shower gift.

For very close friends, how much do you spend on a gift for the wedding and shower gifts? Does it chage if you are also traveling for the event, in the wedding, or any other factors?
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#2 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 01:13 PM
 
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I don't think it's the amount that matters. It's that as close friends you have an insight that can allow you to go, ahem, "off list." You could also make something, if you're so inclined. The wedding gifts we received from close friends included the latest (hardback) edition of the official Scrabble dictionary, a gift certificate to our favorite garden center, and a set of six beautiful Italian wine glasses.

I think the same general principal applies to shower gifts. (I didn't actually have a wedding shower. A group of friends from my church offered me my choice of a garden-themed shower or helping with the reception. I went with the latter.) When I buy shower gifts, I look for ways to make it personal.

Mom of two girls.
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#3 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 01:18 PM
 
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I agree that the amount really doesn't matter.

Because it's a very close friend the couple are just going to be happy you're there supporting them. I always try to get something I know my friends or family would love so I always skip the list - only with close friends and family though as we're close enough to know their tastes.

OT a bit: if they were hung up on etiquette there wouldn't be a question about buying two gifts. The rule of thumb is people buy a shower OR a wedding gift and not both. So don't sweat it too much.
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#4 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 04:19 PM
 
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for close friends and close family i usually try to get them the gift i know they REALLY wanted and don't wory about the cost of it (for 1 friend it was $100 set of dishes, for another it was a $40 set of salad bowls and acessories)

but for friends and family i'm not super close with i try to stay within a $50 price range, rather that be one big gift or making a gift basket with a bunch of little stuff.

and i always stick to the registry (b/c i ended up with 8 sets of candle stick holders as wedding gifts, which are all still nicley packed away in storage b/c open flames and kids don't mix!) unless i know there is something they really wanted but didn't put on the registry for one reason or another


but the bottom line is that it isn't how much you spend, its the thought that you put behind it that counts!
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#5 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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well, I'm in my forties and we have a little more discretionary income than I did in my twenties. For a close friend I'd get something nice for the shower (probably around 100-150 bucks-would probably also try to go in one something with a group) and for the wedding gift I'd try to figure out the price for the reception meal for myself and my husband, and do a little more than that. Not that there needs to be a $ value assigned to the gift-it's just a ballpark figure I use. And travel expenses don't affect how much I'd spend for the gifts.

Luckily, most of our friends are already married.
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#6 of 6 Old 07-31-2007, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here is what we ended up with

For the wedding we purchased from their REI registry and got them a fancy 2 person sleeping bag that they picked out. It's really nice, and has a bit of a "reason" behind why we picked it.

My husband and the grroom grew up going on backpacking and camping trip each year; the type where you hike all day with your gear on your back and then camp in the middle of the wilderness. One year when they were in high school my husbands sleeping bag fell off and into a river while they were hiking in to their camp spot. They were not able to save it, so he and his friend had to share his for the whole trip so my husband would not freeze at ngiht...it was not a 2 person bag, and these 2 high school best friends tried to sleep as far away from each other as possible while being smooshed inthe bag

On the card we will write something about hoping they have a lot more fun in this sleeping bag than DH and friend did in the bag they shared when they went camping!

For the shower gift I went off of their William Sanoma registry and got all the towels, wash cloths, and pot holders. Not quite as personal, but practical and what they want. I did write a very nice card so that makes it a bit more personal.
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