Latina mamas, or anybody, a question. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ETA: This is in TAO, rather than "preteen and teens", because I'm curious about the cultural appropriation issues rather than the actual party-planning issues. If I'm not mistaken, knotty cultural questions live in TAO.

Okay, back to topic: I'm totally not Latina. I am, in fact, Italian, Scottish and Middle Eastern. However, I would like to give my daughter a quinceanera when she turns fifteen.:

1) I think quinceaneras are awesomely, tremendously cool. I've been to a couple of them, and think it's a great tradition. I like the religious elements (we're Catholic, and attend a mostly-Hispanic bilingual parish) as well as the symbolism of the party.

2) My daughter has not had a party for her christening or first communion. SHe's been to tons of family parties for everyone else--my wedding to her stepdad, now her baby brother's christening. I thought of giving her a big sweet-sixteen, but those rarely include the family and didn't seem as meaningful.

3). I think almost everyone we know would like it, even if it would be unfamiliar to some of them.

Thoughts? Too much cultural appropriation? If it makes a difference (I don't think it does, personally) we're Bronx-ites and thus pretty comfortable/familiar with Hispanic culture. Would you feel put off by being invited to a non-HIspanic quinceanera?

Lastly, does anyone know how I can get symbols in this font so that I can write "quinceanera" correctly (I know I'm leaving out a very important accent mark!)
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#2 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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I probably wouldn't think twice about it. I live in a predominantly hispanic area and I would go to a party if invited and not question if the inviter was actually hispanic or not. And I can say with almost certainty that most of our friends in the neighborhood, mexican/hispanic/non-hispnic would attend too. But we all like the big parties around here

I am generally a little weirded out by the sweet sixteen stuff but not enough that I wouldn't go to a friend's daughter's party.

Good question though.

I've always been on the side of being OK with most cultural appropriation stuff (there are a few exceptions), however, I know on this board there are alot of people with the opposite view and are against just about all forms of CA. So I'm going to probably be in the minority and am doning my tomato proof tin-foil hat. :
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#3 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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I was just reading a fellow adoptive mommas blog and she just attended one. Actually her daughter helped participate. It looked very neat and the girl loved it. She wore a beautiful white dress and had 14 attendante for each year of her life. All the attendants, young girls, carried pink roses and at made an arch for her to walk under. Her mother gave her a beautiful pearl necklace and her father switched her flat shoes for low high heals. There were a lot of people there as well.

Its pretty common from where DD is from and I think once we get to that age we will see if she wants one and go from there.
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#4 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:22 PM
 
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Maybe ask some of your friends at your church what they think? I mean... If you say "I'm thinking about having a quincinera for DD." and they give you an odd look you have an answer. If they give you a warm smile and start making suggestions where to get her dress you have another answer.
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#5 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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As a Latina girl I never wanted a Quinca or to be a part of one. For the same reason I wouldent want a huge sweet sixteen. But as a Latina girl I personally wouldent be put off by a non hispanic person throwing one. I know a few people who might but generally I think most people would be fine with it. Most girls have non hispanics in their court anyway. Would there be Latinos coming to it?

24 tattooed SAHM to a silly boy born at home in the tub 1/31/07
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#6 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RileysmamaNM View Post
Would there be Latinos coming to it?
Yes--most of her school friends and some of my friends.
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#7 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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I'm not offended by it.

But really.....a fancy party, lots of teenagers, the rehearsals, the hormones......do you know what you are getting into

I danced in the court for 2 or 3 when i was in HS.
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#8 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 03:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Individuation View Post
Yes--most of her school friends and some of my friends.
Take my post with salt, my ancestors are all WASPs.

I think that if most of her friends and many of yours belong to the Latino community, and will be inviting her to their parties, then it makes sense that she would want to have one too. I think that you should mention to your latina friends and her friends' mamas that your dd wants a quincinera. I bet they'd take you guys under their wings and help you do it up right.

I think it's really cool that you would want to embrace this cultural tradition given that you have connections to the community. Maybe if you didn't know any latinos and just thought it sounded like a cool premise for a party it would be in poor taste, but in your case it seems like you're being adopted by the community which is much more inclusive.

We hear so much nasty stuff about "immigrants : " and the supposed horrible consequences of letting them into our communities, and there is so much pressure for people to assimilate and turn away from their communities' traditions. I think it's better if we learn and share from each other.

That being said, I do feel a little ambivalent about sweet sixteen parties and debuts and things like that. I think a celebration of young womanhood can be done well, though.
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#9 of 10 Old 09-20-2007, 03:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kama'aina mama View Post
Maybe ask some of your friends at your church what they think? I mean... If you say "I'm thinking about having a quincinera for DD." and they give you an odd look you have an answer. If they give you a warm smile and start making suggestions where to get her dress you have another answer.
Good idea.
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#10 of 10 Old 07-25-2014, 12:50 PM
 
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Hey, I am a Swiss journalist and am preparing an article about American girls having a Quinceanera, even though they are not latina. I would really like to ask you a few questions about your experience with this: would this be possible? If so, please get in touch: zaugg.julie @ gmail.com
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