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#271 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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You are going to do me in, Periwinkle

I am trying to stay objective and professional here.



~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#272 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 01:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
OK good. Let's do it then...


Sarah is an avid teddy bear collector. In fact, her small living area is now totally devoted to teddy bears and teddy bear paraphrenalia, so much so that she sometimes has a hard time sitting down or finding a place to sleep without having to carefully move some of the bears. Each bear has a special name that she put a lot of effort into choosing. Each bear is dressed carefully in matching outfits, lovingly chosen from boxes full of clothes - clothes Sarah sorts and folds just so, and spends weeks choosing from speciality catalogs and shops. The bears have their own accesories, ranging from tiny backpacks and pocketbooks to twin strollers and little bunk beds. Sarah says that each bear has its own personality - she says Lulabear for example is very shy and quiet, Miss Gloria Altonbear is very fun and likes parties, and Mr. Seamus Brownbear is very grandfatherly and wise. Sarah is bonded to each of her bears. If you were to suggest to Sarah that she give them up, she would not be able to comprehend how or why anyone would ever ask that of her - her bear collection is a very big part of her life. If you were to suggest to Sarah that she go on vacation without any of her bears, she would be horrified and very, very worried. For days leading up to the vacation, she would be fretting about leaving her bears, and in the end would find a way to sneak a few of the ones who really depend on her into her suitcase. If you were to suggest to Sarah that maybe she's spending a little *too* much time with her bears, she would roll her eyes and tell you it's time well spent. Sarah loves her teddy bears very deeply and likes to take at least one of them wherever she goes. She carries them in a specially-designed carrier and always makes sure to buckle them carefully into the car when driving. Everyone knows teddy bears are Sarah's "thing" and most of the gifts she gets are more teddy bears or bear-related accessories. People even go out of their way to find teddy bear-themed tee shirts, socks, and so on for Sarah. Yes, pretty much when you think of Sarah, you think about teddy bears.

Now here's the question... is Sarah 8 years old or is she an adult?
Could be either. But the parts I bolded would be, to me, indications that there was a problem.

Any time something--anything--is taking up so much time, space and energy that it's interfering with other parts of your life, it's a problem. If a person is unable to step out of an activity or limit the amount of time they spend in an activity, that's a problem.

If someone genuinely thinks an inanimate object "needs" them in some way other than taking adequate care of it (i.e. not leaving a valuable book in a damp place), that's a danger sign.

The classic definition of an addiction is something that requires increasing amounts of time and energy and cannot be limited--something that becomes a NEED or an obsession when it doesn't warrant that type of position in someone's life. That's a concern no matter what the object of the addiction or obsession is.

I'd be a bit concerned about Sarah whether her obsession was teddy bears, dolls, plants, collectible porcelain elephants, video games, the internet, coffee, chocolate, antique butter churns, paper clips, or posting on motheringdotcom.

If she dressed her bears, named them, collected accessories for them, etc. but was able to limit that to a small portion of her home, life, time and attention, and clearly understood that they were not real living beings and they don't "depend on her", then I would think it was perfectly fine whether she was an 8-year-old or an adult.
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#273 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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trying. really. hard. not. to. pee. my. pants.

omfg

/takes a moment/

But seriously, if they're just into the artistry and the whole "doll collection" thing, why WOULDN'T their owners bring them out in public, kwim? You know, all the times they have to transport them in a Britax Roundabout, then a custom Baby Hawk mei tai, then a quick jaunt in the Bugaboo just to take the fugly thing in to get some new plugs.
Some of them probably do take them to doll shows or display them publicly--especially around Halloween.
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#274 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 01:15 AM
 
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But, have you watched the documentary yet?
Over and over and OVER again, Sue makes it crystal clear that it is NOT maternal instinct that drives her to collect Reborns, that she DOESN'T LIKE to hold her dolls, that she really just uses them to satisfy her own impossible ideals and to get attention.



Thanks.

Yes, I watched it and I agree that using the dolls to fill a void after a loss wasn't what she was doing. However, she was using them to get attention and I think that they are still really valuable, if they can get some women the attention that they need, instead of an actual human being used in that manner. They are still providing a service. I wish that my mom could have gotten the attention and excuse to shop from these dolls, rather than the children that she used for the same purpose.
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#275 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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I wish that my mom could have gotten the attention and excuse to shop from these dolls, rather than the children that she used for the same purpose.
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#276 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 02:03 AM
 
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This thread reminds me of that awful diaper commercial - the one where the woman has a brick for a baby.
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#277 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 02:48 AM
 
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OMG the "horror reborns" made me sick. Who would even think to do something like that? Even DH found them disturbing and NOTHING bothers him.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
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#278 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 10:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
trying. really. hard. not. to. pee. my. pants.

omfg

/takes a moment/

But seriously, if they're just into the artistry and the whole "doll collection" thing, why WOULDN'T their owners bring them out in public, kwim? You know, all the times they have to transport them in a Britax Roundabout, then a custom Baby Hawk mei tai, then a quick jaunt in the Bugaboo just to take the fugly thing in to get some new plugs.
Maybe we can get some and do a documentary... "My Fake Spawn".

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#279 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 04:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by purple_kangaroo View Post
My point was that just because someone takes a picture of themselves with their doll doesn't automatically mean they're "pretending it's a living, breathing baby."

I don't don't mind anyone being disturbed by someone thinking having a doll is "almost exactly like having a real baby." That IS disturbing. I can see someone being bothered by someone trying to pass a doll off as a real baby if it ever happened. But I don't think that was actually happening, even with the women portrayed in the film.
Then why even bother with the "breathing apparatus", that makes it appear that the doll is breathing? The grandma had it on her "Harry" doll. Why?????


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I think the dolls are beautiful. I love the artistry. I own several dolls. I decorate my home with them, use them to market my hand-crocheted baby items,
I don't disagree with you there. As I stated previously, at one time I wanted one for my daughter - just b/c I love the realism (I'm into real-looking dolls for my kids to play with), and she would have adored something like that. I knit clothes for her dolls, and she treats them like babies - and that's OK. She's seven years old. I'm 42 and until recently, was absolutely desperate to have another baby. In fact, I was truly grieving the fact that I wouldn't have any more. But I seriously doubt that - painful as the realization was - I'd ever find the need to cart around a Reborn in order to deal with it.

Every baptized Christian is, or should be, someone with an actual (disturbing) experience, ... a close encounter, with God; someone who, as a result, becomes a disturbing presence to others. - Fr. Anthony J. Gittins, A Presence That Disturbs
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#280 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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Then why even bother with the "breathing apparatus", that makes it appear that the doll is breathing? The grandma had it on her "Harry" doll. Why?????
Because it's the newest technology and it's kinda neat. It's a novelty.

Most people don't really like it that much, though . . . some of the artists were discussing that they have them on hand just so they can say they're up on the latest innovations, but they're almost always a custom order--they don't put them in most of the dolls they make, and even the people who buy them usually try it once or twice and find that they don't like it all that much.

The grandma was brand new to doll collecting, so she's exactly the type of person more likely to go for the faddish "new" stuff like that.
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#281 of 282 Old 01-12-2008, 07:10 PM
 
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They make stuffed animlas with those breathing things, too. Our hallmark store has a ton of them and they were prizes on the boardalk last summer.

The first rule of homeschooling: water the plants! :
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#282 of 282 Old 01-14-2008, 10:13 PM
 
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What creeps me out is I could mix a picture of my stillborn daughter in with a bunch of pictures of these reborn dolls and I bet most people who haven't seen a picture of my daughter wouldn't be able to tell the real baby from the dolls.

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
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