Petty retaliation - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 08:26 PM
 
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I hear Hello Kitty smells. eau de chat.

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#62 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 08:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sophiesue2 View Post
I must really be the vigilante then, because I think that's brilliant. But it would have to be really GOOD spam. I would come up with some examples but I can assume that should do that, the suffers of those obscure bowel conditions would come out of the woodwork to tsk tsk me. .
This made my day.
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#63 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 08:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
Just to Cliff Note for those coming in so far... the conclusion to this point is:

1. The OP rawks and should be commended for quick thinking

or alternatively:

1. The OP should not have been petty and should have controlled herself.

2. In the event pettiness ensued, the kids should have been blindfolded or some other sight impairing method used.

3. Starbucks beverages are not to be wasted - next time she should grab some other less tasty beverage to throw.

4. Should beverages of a less tasty variety not be available the OP should have grabbed pen and paper and written a nasty note to the offending party (rhyming optional but encouraged)

I think that about sums up the events so far.
*snort*
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#64 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 08:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
Just to Cliff Note for those coming in so far... the conclusion to this point is:

1. The OP rawks and should be commended for quick thinking

or alternatively:

1. The OP should not have been petty and should have controlled herself.

2. In the event pettiness ensued, the kids should have been blindfolded or some other sight impairing method used.

3. Starbucks beverages are not to be wasted - next time she should grab some other less tasty beverage to throw.

4. Should beverages of a less tasty variety not be available the OP should have grabbed pen and paper and written a nasty note to the offending party (rhyming optional but encouraged)

I think that about sums up the events so far.
from now on I am joining the HelloKitty love threads!
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#65 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 08:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
I hear Hello Kitty smells. eau de chat.
and the rumor is you smell of jealously.. hmmph.

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Originally Posted by calidarling View Post
from now on I am joining the HelloKitty love threads!
Niiiice, another convert! I may need to Cliff Note every thread I read.

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#66 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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OK, I could never have tossed hot chocolate on someone's car. Instead, I would have stood in the spot and not moved until they tired and moved to another spot. Hey, it would have made me feel better but probably not the best solution. Hot chocolate is too good to dump on some jerk's car.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#67 of 87 Old 01-11-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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I know it is wrong, but I love you for throwing that hot chocolate.

:Mama to 2 :
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#68 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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OP, i absolutely DO NOT pass judgement on you! i've had my last straw freak out moments & yours is, well, a really good one!

as for that skin on pudding- why the hate? there are some pudding-skin lovers out here. i'm feeling insulted and offended on behalf of pudding skin

(says the girl who used to pick the skin off of all the puddings in the fridge when my mom would make a batch )
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#69 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 12:42 AM
 
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this thread just makes me really sad.
The guy participated in bad behavior. How does this equal "The guy is a jerk"? Do you know him? Do we have anything else to base it on other than the fact that he honked at a child who was standing in a parking space (which sounds like pretty dangerous behavior, btw)?
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#70 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 12:54 AM
 
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For some reason, people in this town have a strange compulsion to park RIGHT NEXT to another car, even if it is the only car in an otherwise empty parking lot. Even, in fact, if it is by far not the closest space to the door.

I can't tell you how many times I've parked in an almost empty (or even completely empty) lot, intentionally not parking close to the door so that nobody will park next to me while I'm out of the car... then I come back and someone else is parked not only next to me, but so close that I have trouble getting the baby into the carseat.

Twice last week, someone pulled into the space next to me AS we walked up to my car door, obviously about to open said door with a baby in my arms. In a completely empty lot. Then acted impatient when they had to wait for me to strap the baby in before they could open their door. With empty spaces all around them.

I get my petty revenge by not trying to hurry at all. If they didn't have anywhere else convenient to park I would hurry or let them get out before strapping my baby in, of course. But give me a break.
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#71 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 01:05 AM
 
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I am all for standing up for kids, mine and anyone else's who are being bullied, mistreated or traumatized. However, being confrontational in any way just isn't a good idea when you're a woman alone with kids. An intergral part of my job is reading police reports every single day and I have seen people cited with disorderly conduct for less than what you did with the hot chocolate. SERIOUSLY. Not that I necessarily agree with that, and I certainly don't think hauling you (OP) into court would be helpful to anyone in any way, I am just saying, if he'd called the cops, you'd likely be the one charged with a crime. The other thing this post makes me think of is how fast things can escalate. I would never confront a stranger over a conflict while I was alone with my kids. There are just too many nutsos out there and it's just not worth it. Say you had gotten the attention of the guy inside the store, and he was mentally ill and off his meds and he pounded your head into the pavement after you spoke your mind about him honking at your child? (And I have a mental illness myself, so let's not go there...) I guess my bottom line is that it's just not worth it. Ideally, a well-conceived talk with your kid on the way home would have done more good in the world than what you did. But of course it's not a perfect world. I say relish your moment of "petty retalitation" and enjoy that satisfaction (and I can enjoy it for you vicariously btw), but know that it is sheer luck that you or your children didn't get involved in an ugly scene because of it. Just my cynical, overly cautious view of the sitch.
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#72 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 01:11 AM
 
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while i wouldnt have tossed the hot chocolate (great - now i want some - but that would mean boiling water as we have a water advisory out in my village), i do understand the frustration the honking at a child would cause in me. My 4 yr old is seneastive to very loud noises, and i would have calmed and comforted my 4 yr old and blasted him verbally for his actions, even if it ment waiting in my car until i saw him exit... or (most likely), be irrated that (once agian, for the millionth time that day) that dd was screaming he lungs out (hates loud noises, but will scream enough that some day i SWEAR she'll break glass) and just be all pissy while i get home.

no blame or judgment here - hope that LO is better from that honk (even honking scares me if its too loud and close!)

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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#73 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 01:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wildmama View Post
...but know that it is sheer luck that you or your children didn't get involved in an ugly scene because of it.
I'm just going to call this phrase, because it's a pet peeve of mine.

It was not "sheer luck" that the OP and her children didn't get involved in a bad scene.

Luck is about odds. When you end up with a good outcome, even though the odds were against you, that's "good luck". When you end up with a bad outcome, even though the odds were with you, that's "bad luck".

Most people, if they were the guy in the OP, would not create a "bad scene" with a woman with small children. Most people are decent people. The OP could have had the bad luck to encounter someone who wasn't a decent person, but the fact that she didn't have bad luck doesn't mean that she had good luck. Luck wasn't part of it...she was in a situation that usually wouldn't turn really ugly, and it didn't.

Calling it sheer luck aggravates the widespread modern tendency to think that anybody and everybody is waiting for the chance to do horrible, unspeakable to things to us and to our families. It's just not true.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#74 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 01:42 AM
 
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An interesting way to look at luck. Thanks for the run down. FTR, I don't believe in "luck" but I still enjoyed your description.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#75 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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Well, if we are going to get into semantics, I don't actually believe in "luck" either. But I would stand by my original point, which may or may not have been made clear: mothers alone with young children should not confront, harass, antagonize, or otherwise instigate conflicts with total strangers. It's not prudent. Sure, the majority of the time, everyone would emerge intact, but again, it's just not worth the risk from my perspective.
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#76 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 02:04 AM
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Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
At least tell us the hot chocolate sucked so we know you weren't wasting good beverage products.
My thoughts exactly!

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#77 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 02:10 AM
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Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
I will confess what I did a week ago to make you feel better. My daughter had just had foot surgery, in pain, groggy and unable to support her own weight at that time--I am six months pregnant as well. I was taking her to the parking garage in a wheel chair. I needed to get her in the passenger's side of the car, but when we got there a giant SUV had parked both too close and at an angle. There was about five inches between it and the door of my car.

It was very difficult, since I didn't like leaving her sitting in the middle of the garage, still groggy from medication/anesthesia in a wheel chair while repositioning the car so I could get her in. I was livid. Its a hospital surgi-center for pete's sake. Most everyone in there could be coming out with a sick or barely mobile person to work with. And I hate SUV drivers who don't care who they block. So I left them a nasty note on their windshield (with paper) saying "your inconsiderate parking blocked me from getting my post-surgical daughter into the car. Since it took me twice as long to do so, you can deal with the wheelchair." and then I left the wheelchair in the locked position directly behind the SUV. I suppose I should be embarrassed, but I still am not.
You're embarassed over this??? I think you were way too gentle.

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#78 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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Well I am ok with the hot chocolate assuming the driver was honking to be rude.
If on the other hand the driver was honking because they were concerned that your child was standing in a vacant parking spot while you were distracted, then its too bad they had to come out to find a car covered in hot chocolate.

I honked at a little one once. The little one(about 3?) was running around a parking lot, grandma was trying to grab child, child darted out in front of me and I honked a good long honk, the child jumped a bloody mile, but at least stopped darting around and went back to grandma. Saying that, I doubt I would honk at a child standing in a parking spot because I wanted it. I may honk if I started to pull in, and was startled by the child.

Decluttering 500/2010
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#79 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 03:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bobica View Post
OP, i absolutely DO NOT pass judgement on you! i've had my last straw freak out moments & yours is, well, a really good one!

as for that skin on pudding- why the hate? there are some pudding-skin lovers out here. i'm feeling insulted and offended on behalf of pudding skin

(says the girl who used to pick the skin off of all the puddings in the fridge when my mom would make a batch )
Hmm. I like the outside of egg custard the best, so maybe I DO like pudding skin after all. GLORY BE, I've now seen the error of my ways. Good thing I posted this story, or I'd have gone around being an irresponsible vigilante pudding skin hater.

And for those who are under the impression that my DD was doing a jig in the middle of the parking spot, when he honked at her I pulled her head to my thigh. Of course, I should mention I have 4 1/2 foot arms....
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#80 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 03:38 AM
 
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So much to respond to!
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Originally Posted by sophiesue2 View Post
Here's the story: apparantly the whole "bigger person" idea didn't cross my mind....
I try not to judge people. Usually, I try to think of what that person could be going through, but with your circumstances, I think I wouldn't have reacted so kindly as you did.

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Originally Posted by daekini View Post
What a jerk! And it could've been worse -
Mom was putting the younger one in the van while the older one stood beside her. The older one was hit by a car pulling in, and died.
I will always do this from now on. The thought never crossed my mind. Sometimes I have my 3 year old climb in, while I buckle my 1 year old, but from now on that will ALWAYS be what I do. No more "hand on the car".

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Originally Posted by lisa49 View Post
What is it with parking spots. When my son was only 2 months old, he was sleeping in a blanket while I was walking to my car. I was walking past a parking spot when someoene drove up to it. She honked at me! Guess I was too slow. Anyway, I went up to her car and stood at her door, waiting for her to open it. She started pretending to look at other stuff in her car.LOL She didn't get out of her car and refused to look at me. I guess I looked pretty scary p'd off holding my baby. I had a mouthfull ready for her though. I finally got bored and left.

I think the hot chocolate on the window will get the point across just fine. I'm not above doing it.

Lisa
I hate this kind of rushing attitude. It also bugs me that people think that their attitudes are "anonymous" and "I'll never see them again" so I can act like a complete jerk and take my bad day out on that stranger.

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Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post

I suppose I should be embarrassed, but I still am not.
I probably would have done the same thing. If they had a really sick patient coming back out, I'd just assume he'd leave the wheelchair there again.

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Originally Posted by Demeter9 View Post
I had a nice vicarious thrill one time when I saw a black porsche at the mall on the busiest day of the shopping season, in a spot near the doors parked at an angle to take up two spots. Because someone else had already keyed him.

Ah.....I still get that feeling.
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH. These guys get me. Once, my dh and I met somewhere, and a guy had parked like that... some suped up civic or nissan or somethign silly. Anyway, we both parked next to him within the lines, and he couldn't get out! He was wating for us at his car all irate and stupid. He was so confrontational, that he sat on my hood, so we had to call the cops. They ended up arresting him because had an outstanding warrant, and they added illegal parking and something else to his CV.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breastfeeding Insomniac View Post
Sometimes when people make the statement: "Do you want to stoop to their level?" The true answer is YES!!!!
Sometimes people like man with van need to spend some time chiseling frozen hot chocolate off their windshield to get what they deserve!
:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Bufford View Post
I like to think that I'm above actions like what you did.



Then I have a reality check and holler "rock on, mama"!!
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola View Post
True, but we make mistakes and let our anger get the better of us sometimes. Maybe she could have a teaching moment. If her little girl is anything like mine, she'd get angry at me and tell me why I shouldn't have done that.
This is probably waht my daughter would do if she saw me act like that. I've been known to make impulsive crappy decisions from time to time... looking back I see how childish I was acting... usually worse than the offender. Thankfully, I've yet to do it in front of her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daekini View Post
I'll never forget one time when my oldest was a baby, and we went to a super crowded restaurant where there were *no* parking spots with the exception of half of one where some idiot in a souped-up gansta honda had taken up two spots, trying to keep people from parking near his car. I managed to get my car in with room to spare.

After celebrating my MILs bday in the restaurant, I came out to find that the jerk had *KEYED MY CAR*!!!!!!!!!

:

I was very careful to keep his car from being damaged, and he went and damaged mine. What a meanie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawn1221 View Post
I have been known to leave shopping carts parked against a drivers door for violations of common courtesy or common sense. I feel just fine about it too. No regrets from me. And FTR, I never leave marks on peoples cars when I do it. I very gently place the shopping cart touching the offending vehicle's driver side door. My hope is they get the message that parking so close to someone who clearly has a car seat on that side is as rude as someone leaving a shopping cart parked on your driver side door. Maybe they will think twice next time.

But I wouldn't have thrown the hot chocolate. I understand completely the compulsion to do so and have stooped to that level in my hey day.
I do this too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
Just to Cliff Note for those coming in so far... the conclusion to this point is:

1. The OP rawks and should be commended for quick thinking

or alternatively:

1. The OP should not have been petty and should have controlled herself.

2. In the event pettiness ensued, the kids should have been blindfolded or some other sight impairing method used.

3. Starbucks beverages are not to be wasted - next time she should grab some other less tasty beverage to throw.

4. Should beverages of a less tasty variety not be available the OP should have grabbed pen and paper and written a nasty note to the offending party (rhyming optional but encouraged)

I think that about sums up the events so far.
Perfect... thank you for summing that up so succinctly.

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Originally Posted by quietplease View Post
I am pretty shocked that most people agree that what you did was okay.

Two wrongs don't make a right. He should not have honked at your daughter, but throwing your drink on his car was uncalled for. You don't know why he was in such a hurry. Maybe he was sick and needed to rush to the bathroom. Maybe he was completely distracted because his wife was in the hospital. I think you should try to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially when their actions cause only annoyance but no actual harm.

I think it's this kind of uncivil one-upsmanship that escalates tension among drivers.

It's funny to me that members of a site that promotes gentle discipline are ready to take vengeance on poor manners. At what age did this guy stop deserving gentle discipline?
I agree with this too, but everyone has their breaking point. Sometimes though, no matter how much we'd like to be GD and civic minded, and polite all the time to even the biggest donkeys, it just boils down to... thoughtlessness begets thoughtlessness (or hot chocolate).


Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesue2 View Post
I must really be the vigilante then, because I think that's brilliant.

I am what is wrong with society. Me and boy bands. Oh and that skin on pudding.
Ewww. the skin. and boy bands make me cringe. But you my love... not so much what is wrong with society. :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brigianna View Post
Honking at humans is vile and obnoxious behavior, and I am not sympathetic to anyone who does it. I wouldn't have done what the OP did... because I would have been too unnerved by the honking to do anything except leave immediately. And too busy comforting my crying, noise-sensitive children. So I don't think you were wrong. It's not like you poured boiling chocolate on him...
Now that would have been a waste.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
OK, I could never have tossed hot chocolate on someone's car. Instead, I would have stood in the spot and not moved until they tired and moved to another spot. Hey, it would have made me feel better but probably not the best solution. Hot chocolate is too good to dump on some jerk's car.
I tend to move extra slow when I see an a$$ like that. ON the other hand, I will hussle my buns for an older couple, a patient looking person, or a momma.

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#81 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 05:35 AM
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i woulda done the same thing.
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#82 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 05:47 AM
 
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I just have to say "whatever" to all of the over analyzing. Sorry.


I dont knock you OP for what you did. Hell..I might have done the same
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#83 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 06:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by daekini View Post
I'll never forget one time when my oldest was a baby, and we went to a super crowded restaurant where there were *no* parking spots with the exception of half of one where some idiot in a souped-up gansta honda had taken up two spots, trying to keep people from parking near his car. I managed to get my car in with room to spare.

After celebrating my MILs bday in the restaurant, I came out to find that the jerk had *KEYED MY CAR*!!!!!!!!!

I was very careful to keep his car from being damaged, and he went and damaged mine. What a meanie.
Too bad YOU didn't have any hot chocolate!

This turned into a pretty funny thread.

OP, you are my hero. Vigilante justice just doesn't get the props it deserves. Rock on sister!

I think I am going to join the Hello Kitty love threads too.
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#84 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 06:08 AM
 
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Getting angry like that and losing your cool can get your killed. Dont think for one second someone will think twice about shooting you just because you have children around. I have heard and known people who were beat to a bloody pulp and/or killed because they wanted to "stand their ground". Just walk away (unless you're being physically attacked). Its not worth it.
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#85 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 06:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by purple_kangaroo View Post
Boy, in a hospital parking lot I would be prone to give the other driver the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had a very sick person they were trying to get into the hospital ASAP and didn't have time to jimmy around and reposition thier SUV.

Its an outpatient surgicenter. No emergencies there, just scheduled surgeries. The main hospital handles all the emergency surgery.
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#86 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 06:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
An interesting way to look at luck. Thanks for the run down. FTR, I don't believe in "luck" but I still enjoyed your description.
This is something I have a thing about. I'm not even sure why...maybe it has to do with finding myself thinking "we're so lucky the guys who found dd weren't perverts" (she'd slipped out the patio gate just before dusk, and we were on the verge of calling the police after not being able to find her quickly). I suddenly realized that I was totally buying into the mindset that every other person out there wanted to hurt my little girl - even though I know it's just not true.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#87 of 87 Old 01-12-2008, 06:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wildmama View Post
I am all for standing up for kids, mine and anyone else's who are being bullied, mistreated or traumatized. However, being confrontational in any way just isn't a good idea when you're a woman alone with kids. An intergral part of my job is reading police reports every single day and I have seen people cited with disorderly conduct for less than what you did with the hot chocolate. SERIOUSLY. Not that I necessarily agree with that, and I certainly don't think hauling you (OP) into court would be helpful to anyone in any way, I am just saying, if he'd called the cops, you'd likely be the one charged with a crime. The other thing this post makes me think of is how fast things can escalate. I would never confront a stranger over a conflict while I was alone with my kids. There are just too many nutsos out there and it's just not worth it. Say you had gotten the attention of the guy inside the store, and he was mentally ill and off his meds and he pounded your head into the pavement after you spoke your mind about him honking at your child? (And I have a mental illness myself, so let's not go there...) I guess my bottom line is that it's just not worth it. Ideally, a well-conceived talk with your kid on the way home would have done more good in the world than what you did. But of course it's not a perfect world. I say relish your moment of "petty retalitation" and enjoy that satisfaction (and I can enjoy it for you vicariously btw), but know that it is sheer luck that you or your children didn't get involved in an ugly scene because of it. Just my cynical, overly cautious view of the sitch.
Well said. And I have been in some pretty nasty altercations (that I didn't start, but definitely finished) being attacked on the street, 100% unprovoked (mentally ill or drugged out individuals, want to rob, rape, whatever) and we're not taking about the ghetto either but nice, middle class neighborhoods, etc. I can match the evil tendencies as the rest of the lowlife scum of the earth, but I can control my emotions. Unless of course, I have to physically defend myself and then, I have no problem carving them like a Thanksgiving turkey w/o blinking or thinking twice. One exception: last year, I took down a guy (to the ground) who was beating up his girlfriend. She would have been a bloody mess if I were to run to a phone, call 911, hope they get on the line, and wait about and hour for them to get there. It was a chance, I took. Stupid? Yes, but I was willing to take a risk at the time.

My point is, there are some truly nasty, evil, sick, strung out people in this world and from what I've seen and experienced, its best to take the high road - especially over something so minor.
(sorry for the ramble!)
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