Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
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Growing up, we were not very closer to my mother’s side of the family. We would visit them (aunts, uncles, cousins) maybe once every 6 or so years but that was it. I didn’t grow up knowing my grandparents at all. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I would see my mothers farther before he died at the age of 86 from lung cancer (he passed in 2003). My grandmother is now 83 and I see her every now and them. The reason for the separation was because my grandparents divorced in the mid ‘50s and my grandmother remarried a child molester who sexually abused his children, step-children and some grandchildren. (He is not 94 and separated from my grandmother).
I’m not close to my mother and my father is a severe drug addict. Though he’s functional academically, still attends Universities and ranks at the top of his class year after year , he is pretty socially stunted, live in slums and doesn’t relate on a real level with anyone. I’m not close to my brother either. He’s 35 and will not have children - ever.
I’ve only met three members of my father’s family: grandmother, and two aunts. My grandmother and one of the aunts passed away 11 years ago. He has 8 other living siblings (out of a total of 12), but I never met them, don’t know them, and only spoken to a few on the phone maybe twice as an adult. They are total strangers.
My DP is the youngest member of his entire family and he’s well over 40!; is parents are in their 80s and he has one older sister who was never married and never had children. Everyone else (aunts, uncles, etc) has passed.
With that said, our children will not have much (if any) extended family at all. If you’re in that situation, how do you compensate from a lack of extended family for your children? Is it a big deal in your lives? Or is it something everyone is used to?