Do you think it's rude to exclude the hubbies like that? Is it sexist? Why do people do it?
My poor DH always gets mildly offended when this happens. I can't say I blame him. If DH were a woman, I could probably bring him (her) along, no problem. I don't like to be exclusionary towards him, but I do want to go hang out with my friends. I just wish he could, too. Plus he could be my designated driver.
I don't know, the whole phenomenon seems weird to me, while at the same time I participate in it and I have to admit, part of me *does* kind of enjoy the time on my own. :
We also go out as a couple with other couple friends.
The other mom and I are very done with this sort of thing, but it was OK for one night in an unmentionable number of years. The girls have gotten together from time to time for scrabble and before babies we had a bunko group.
I think it's important to have the option for these social interactions from time to time without the kids, and yes even without your partner - as long as you do plenty of things with your family and partner. I also think it should be balanced for your partner to have opportunities to socialize without the family, too.
-The Hermit (i.e. take my post for what it's worth )
Mom & RN
Pardon the typos - CWOK (cat walking on keyboard)
But what I most like to do is have friends (male, female, families...) over to my place, make a nice meal and have a bottle (or two!) of wine and chat the night away.
Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)
i also feel it's important to be in mixed and diverse company as well.
i have no qualms with GNO, but have never really done it myself. ii'm pregnant with my first, so that may change if i need more scheduling.
often, as well, dad is doing kid-duty, so which is why the moms get a break together. and vice-versa.
Michele, mom of DD 5/01, DD 11/03, and DS 11/06
As long as one partner isn't always stuck at home or something then it's all good.
Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!
It's only sexist if the men aren't allowed these outlets, too. I encourage my husband to go out with his friends, too. As much as I like mixed couple get-togethers, I love nights out with just my female friends. It's a different dynamic, different conversations, different bonding.
If you don't want to do this away from your Dh, then maybe you should set up some couples nights. My parents used to do that. I think that would be fun, but I wouldn't give up my women's nights out.
DH stays home with DD because we don't have a sitter and really he is just as happy. I come home relaxed which means good things for our intimate life. In fact last time I walked in the door to a naked DD who said, "Mommy, I just peed on your yoga mat." Did I get mad? No. I laughed. DH wants me to go out every week instead of once every few months.
Oh, and I just wouldn't feel comfortable talking about sex in front of the DHs which is what we (I) like to talk about.
BUT, most importantly, we also have time together as a family regularly, time as just a couple together, and we have started going out with other couples. This isn't all in one month, but it all works out and we both feel refreshed after a night out without each other and the kids and there is no resentment between us.
Oh, and another bonus of my girl's night out is that dh gets some special alone time with the kids without momma!! They love to pack up into our bed with popcorn and watch movies and other fun stuff. Dh falls asleep with them and cuddles with them which they all love. My little ones have discovered that momma is a much better momma after a night out alone AND that daddy IS capable of doing everything momma usually does. My 3 year old nurses to sleep still, but is VERY happy to cuddle up with daddy to go to sleep, no complaints out of anyone in our house!
Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10
Honestly, for me it is a time to go and talk with other women and go to a restaurant or bar or movie where my husband would never go.
Husbands aren't specifically excluded from our MNO, as far as I can tell. But many people couldn't afford both to go out to eat and to hire a babysitter, or else they don't know any babysitters. That is pretty much our situation.
As for whether it is sexist, or if I have a problem with the exclusion of DH...well, let's just say if DH were to be included, I am sure he would opt to hang with the kids! He's just not a big Mimosa drinkin' kinda man, yk?
I think this is what bothers me about it - that someone is explicitly excluded. I can't bring my DH if I want to.
Honestly, the last Mother's Night Out I went to, I think a dad came along.
I make sure to that dh gets his 'guy time' in with his friends too. Plus my girlfriends and I are trying to get a couples movie night together...schedules just aren't co-operating though.
I don't think it is wrong or sexist as long as your dh gets the same opportunity to have a night out with the guys as well.
Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011
Mama to a lively DD (10/05) and DS (06/23) !