do you have a BFF? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-22-2008, 12:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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when i was growing up, i had 2 best friends. one was from grade 5-10, the other was grade 10-present(?) i say that with a question mark as i am not sure if i still consider her my best friend. i don't think i have one anymore. i'm not quite sure how i define a best friend anymore. when i was younger, my best friend is the person i spent every single day with. so it was easy then. i guess by that definition, my best friend would be my DF, but he's really not! i also consider a best friend to be someone i can talk to about ANYTHING, and unfortunately, he is not that person. i DO have 1 friend for SURE that i can and do talk to about pretty much everything (N) but i'm not sure if she considers me to be HER BFF. the BFF i had from grade 10 and on, we speak often, but when something big happens, she is not the one i call. i actually call my friend N. actually, i guess i figured it out on my own! lol she IS my BFF. haha we had a pretty huge falling out when i was prego, but we patched it up a few months later.

so YAY!!!! i DO have a BFF!

do you? how do you define what a best friend is?
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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yes, we have been BFs for 30 years.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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No.

I had a friend that I considered my BFF, but because I have kids and she doesn't, we are no longer confidantes.

We've known each other for over 40 years and she is my ds's godmother, and her mother and my sister have become friends. (Her sister married a guy my sister had dated. : ) We stay in contact and remain friendly, but I just don't feel comfortable telling her everything, the way I used to.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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I have a few. Becoming a single parent actually led me to developing outside relationships from a partner. WHen i was with my partner i had one but it wasn't anything like the friends i have now. We see each other daily and are all there for each other at any given moment. We aren't all single, but a great group of friends!
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:42 PM
 
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yup and she's awesome! we have only known each other for about a year, but we're close. we probably hang out 2-3 times per week. we have confided in each other a lot. im not sure if i'd tell her anything and everything, but im not sure i'd tell anyone everything/anything. but i trust her with a lot. including to watch my little ones in a pinch even though she doesn't have kids of her own, and that's saying something. and she's more fun than a barrell of monkeys, which to me is an important quality in a bff. i have moved around a lot in my life, but i always have a bff.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:46 PM
 
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Yes! We've been BFFs for 20 years. See each other almost daily.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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My BFF is my cousin, and she has been since......well, my birth! She is four months older than me. We try to get together for a play date with her and her four boys each week, but it seems like something comes up at least half the time that prevents us from doing so. And since both of us hate talking on the phone we don't get to talk as often as we would like. We keep trying to find ways to live closer to each other so we could walk over to visit, but so far we've had no luck.

Despite the fact that we don't talk as often as either of us would like, she is the one I want to call when anything big happens, or when I'm feeling down and need a shoulder to cry on. She is the one who will love me no matter what mistakes I make, or what successes I achieve. That is what defines a best friend in my mind.

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Old 05-22-2008, 12:49 PM
 
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Yes! My BFF is my DH!

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Hopeful vbac.gif for the next!

 

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Old 05-22-2008, 12:49 PM
 
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Yes, I do. She is someone I talk to at least a few times a week, and we can count on each other to be there whenever we need each other. We've been close friends since grade 6, but I think we just became BFF a couple of years ago.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:50 PM
 
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Well my 1st BFF is my hubby.
I also have another BFF that I have had since I was in 4th grade, we are now 25.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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I've known my BFF since we were two, and we're 27 now. She just got married, and her husband and mine are friends, which is really cool.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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My DW is my BFF for sure. I also have another BFF but my DW is definately the one who knows all about me and she's the first person I turn to for anything. My girlfriend and I have been friends for 8 years or better. We chat a few times a week over email and get together as often as time allows. We're planning a girl's weekend trip soon and I'm totally pumped.

-Rachel

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Old 05-22-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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While I adore my dh, it's different with my bff. We met in high school and weren't close (I was BAD she was not!) but had mutual friends. After high school we dated friends and started hanging out more. Now we're 35 and have known each other for 20 years and I don't know what I'd do without her. She is one of the neatest people I know. I'm actually really excited because she's coming up Saturday night and sleeping over She's in law school, I have two kids and a husband so we don't have much physical time together, but we talk everyday via im. Thank God for computers!
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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Yes, I have had the same BFF for 25+ years. We met in kindergarten. She moved after fifth grade, her dad had died the year before and her mom wanted to be closer to her parents. We remained friends through letters, phone calls and visits. We went to different colleges and started emailing one another. She was my maid of honor at my wedding, and I will be happy to be the matron of honor at hers (we made a pact long ago to be each others MOH). We have been busy and we don't get a chance to email so much, I do try to remember to check in on her blog. I konw though, that no matter what, she will be there for me. We can get together or talk after months of being too busy, and it is like no time has passed at all. That is why she is my BFF.


Now, that being said, I also consider my husband to be my best friend. It is different from my best female friend, but I couldn't imagine being partnered to someone who wasn't my best friend.
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turtlewomyn View Post
Now, that being said, I also consider my husband to be my best friend. It is different from my best female friend, but I couldn't imagine being partnered to someone who wasn't my best friend.
Absolutely!

Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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Old 05-22-2008, 01:20 PM
 
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My sister is my bff.

And dh of course!

Casey, wife to Danny, mom to Olive : and Darcy : .
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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My partner is definitely my best friend, but I also have another best friend (also a boy) only he lives hundreds of miles away so we don't get to see each other all the time anymore!
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:10 PM
 
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My partner is but I assume you're talking about friends outside the relationship.

No.

I'm a pretty bad friend - I don’t stay in contact with anyone out of absentmindedness (not because I dislike them).

I don’t know anyone I grew up with and my current friends are ones I have known for <2 years.
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Old 05-22-2008, 02:18 PM
 
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DH is my best friend, but that's not the same as a female BFF. I haven't had a BFF since junior high/high school. I have some friends that I've been friends with forever but we aren't 'best friends'. We go months/years sometimes with out talking but when we reconnect we are completely at ease and can talk nonstop. I've had friends here and there over my adult years but these relationships fade away as circumstances change.

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Old 05-22-2008, 03:01 PM
 
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Yes, since we were 13/14 (we're now 28). My other BFF... turns out he wouldn't be there forever... he's moved on with his life. He is recently "out of the closet" and I guess he's going through some changes that he doesn't want to include me in. He's also completely uninterested in my baby, so over the last year, we have been drifting apart quite significantly.

My other BFF, though, the one I mentioned first, I have no doubt that she will be here for me forever.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:03 PM
 
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Outside of my dh I would have to say no b/c I don't play well with others.

Mama to Zoe (8/00), Morgan : (10/01), Brooke9/06), Casey 20wks (2/08), and Riley : (2/09): She's really here!!
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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Yep, I have a BFF. We've been friends since about age 9 and have gone through a lot together. We did take a break at age 17 for a year. I was making choices in my life that were extremely destructive and she couldn't be around it but we "got back together" and talk every other day. She lives 50 miles away and we make a point to hang out once a month. I love, love, love her.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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No.

I have very close friends, but somehow I never find anyone that I'm thier closest friend as well.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:15 PM
 
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No. I don't have any friends IRL. :
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:18 PM
 
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I haven't had a BFF since the 6th grade. In fact, she was my only one ever.

I don't know if people don't want to get close or if it's that I don't let them. Or both?
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:34 PM
 
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No. I just don't click with women enough to consider one a bff. Men are off limits as I think it's just asking for trouble.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:36 PM
 
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Besides my DH, I have two BFFs. I have known both since high school (almost 20 years now, ouch). They both stood up for me at my wedding, have been there for me during my darkest times, and at the happiest times too. I have lived far away from them for a long time, but whenever I go home to visit we get together. A few weeks ago, I made a special trip without DH or DS to hang out with them and it was sooo much fun! One of my BFFs, we have been drifting apart a little due to life changes, he just got a new girlfriend and I am not the one he turns to anymore, which is totally cool. The other BFF just went through a big breakup and is working on changes in her life which has brought us much closer. Neither have kids or are married, but honestly that's a good thing for our relationships. The three of us have had our ups and downs, different points in our life when we were distant from one or the other, but at this point I know we will be friends when we are old and gray.

I have another very, very good friend that I met in grad school, so we have been friends for a few years. She has been in our lives since DS was born and if anything happened to DH and I, I would want her to raise DS. They have an incredible bond that is so precious to see and every time we visit each other I am thankful she came into my life and DS's life.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:36 PM
 
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My DH is hands down my BFF. I have some friends i've been friends with for 20 years. But my DH is the only one I tell everything to. Cheezy maybe. But that's us.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:43 PM
 
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Yes. We've been friends for 20 years. We even call each other BFF 4EVA, jokingly, of course.
We can talk about everything important and nothing important for hours and days. Seriously, people must hear our conversations and think we're nuts.
We laugh until we cry.
She loves my DD and I can't wait until she has kids. I wish she lived closer as we're now 3000 miles apart but we're working on that.

And Dh is my BF as well, but it's different.

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Old 05-22-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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Yes - since the first day of kindergarten so almost 20 years now. Even when we lived in different cities we never went more than 1 or 2 days without talking on the phone. Now that we are back in town we see each other almost daily.

She is the best friend in the world! And what's kind of ironic is that our older sisters are also BFFs with each other!
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