Would you ever in a million years.... - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-30-2008, 10:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I can't believe that on MDC people are condoning leaving a toddler outside alone in the middle of the night.
Who? Who here condones that? I don't see ANYONE saying that it's not something that needs to be addressed. EVERYONE has said that they would address it in some way. I think practically everyone has said they'd call the police at some point to help get the child back to his/her caregivers. No one's much talked about how the child got there in the first place, but if it was through negligence (the story one poster told about the five-year-old left home alone when mom went to take her partner to work, for example), I don't think anyone's condoned *that* either.

I can't believe that people are feeling virtuous about taking a strange child into their home, without any knowledge of where they came from or who might be looking for them. And then on top of that, some folks would be offering the kid food! Formula! Their own breast! EEEEEK! You'd be setting my child up for *weeks* of rashes and meltdowns and sleep disruption... another child might *die* from that type of "help." But none of the folks who are all up in arms about the horrible state of humanity represented by women who don't want to open their door at 2 a.m. when the police have already been summoned are willing to address the fundamental disrespect for other families represented by the action of taking someone else's child and feeding them.

Several months ago on another parenting list, someone posted about a terrifying experience she had: her 18-month-old disappeared off her patio in her development! She called 911, and after she was connected to the local PD, they told her they knew where her child was, and to wait right there, an officer would be out shortly. No other information. She spent frantic minutes wondering what horrible terrible thing had happened to her child that they wouldn't tell her over the phone.

Turns out, her child got out of the enclosure and wandered a few feet away from their patio. A neighbor saw the child, and SCOOPED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM INSIDE then called the cops. Didn't look around, knock on the next door, or even just keep an eye on him and see if someone came after him a moment later. No, she had in effect kidnapped the child, so he was separated from his mom much longer than necessary.

Who still thinks that's a good idea? Come on, really? You can't sit your own butt out on your own porch while you wait for the cops?
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Old 05-30-2008, 10:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jster View Post
I mean, if you could actually keep a door closed on a crying child on your doorstep in a nice neighborhood in America, out of fear, how do you respond to children dying in wars far away?
Unfortunately, we know that answer all to well
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Old 05-30-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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I think I'm with Ironica on this one...I would want to take it inside, but my knowledge of CPS and nutty people would kick in and I would most likely go out to the child with whatever was necessary - a blanket, a drink of water, and comfort it out in plain view. I would call the police after waiting 5 minutes or so. I just don't know about taking it inside because - maybe the mom is close by looking for it, and we can avoid a messy police situation - or maybe someone is going to accuse ME of something. Not interested in that. Now, that being said, if it was bad weather or cold or something, in it comes. Period.
Of course, that would be really weird in my neighbourhood anyways because we live in a (very) rural area. But this is what I think I would do if I lived in town.
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Old 05-31-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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I really can't believe that anyone is so mired in fear that a baby on their doorstep in the middle of the night causes them to be suspicious for their own safety, or fear accusations of wrongdoing. I mean really now.

And I would feel that it was much more disrespectful of my family to leave my missing baby sitting in the dark night on a strange doorstep, crying, than to take him inside and try to make him feel better. I'd be pretty grossed out if someone tried to give him formula, but I think I could get over it if the alternative was to close the door in his little face and leave him crying alone.
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Old 05-31-2008, 12:53 AM
 
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Opening the door, not opening the door, either way the cops were called, and the baby was helped. Nobody is advocating turning off the light on the porch, leaving the baby to cry, and going back to sleep out of fear.

I would have scooped the baby up and taken them inside, but I'm also not going to judge somebody for not being comfortable with that, for what ever reason they might have.

Some people are scared, and some people have lived lives where they might have every reason to be scared.

Like I said on the first page of this thread she was being cautious, not heartless.



In the end the baby was helped. Isn't that the point?

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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Old 05-31-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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Come on, how long was the kid hitting alone out front before the cops came and after the OP sister saw him?
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Old 05-31-2008, 01:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SevenVeils View Post
I really can't believe that anyone is so mired in fear that a baby on their doorstep in the middle of the night causes them to be suspicious for their own safety, or fear accusations of wrongdoing. I mean really now.
Well, that's mighty privileged of you. It's not about living mired in fear, sometimes it's looking at your neighborhood and the people that come through it realistically.

I would've opened the door after getting my mayun up and dialing 91.

p.s. I only read the 1st and last pages.
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Old 05-31-2008, 02:40 AM
 
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I can't seriously imagine that I would even consider this being a robbery set up. I could imagine the kidnapping scenario even less!

I can't imagine leaving a baby to cry on the porch while waiting for the cops, poor baby. FWIW my boy HAS had anaphylatic allergic reactions (to corn which would be in the fried twinkie) and had severe stranger anxiety until he was 5 and I would STILL prefer that someone would take him inside and try to help him rather than leaving him alone on the porch. At least it would show some basic human compassion. It would mean they wanted to help him instead of the alternative. It is always better to try IMO than to just turn a blind eye and leave it to some one else (in this case the police). And it is beyond sad that anyone would allow fear to control them to the point that they just couldn't help a person in need, especially a young child. And it is scary that this fear has penetrated our psyche to the point that our first thought would be danger to ourselves instead of concern for another human being.

We have had many, many late night knocks and interruptions at our door. We deal with it as necessary (call the police, sent people on their way, or that time I sent my dog out after 'em). I just can't imagine doing nothing (or next to nothing).


 

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Old 05-31-2008, 02:45 AM
 
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A lot of people have mentioned neighborhood...she lives in a really nice development- does that make a difference?
That's a followup from the OP, on the first page. Not exactly a ghetto. And since you bring that up, I have lived in some pretty bad areas, and especially there I would not ever even hesitate. My door would be open, that baby would be in my house where I knew safety existed. A baby alone out on my doorstep in a bad area in the middle of the night? Nope, never, not if I had anything to do with it.
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Old 05-31-2008, 03:11 AM
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Originally Posted by SevenVeils View Post
That's a followup from the OP, on the first page. Not exactly a ghetto. And since you bring that up, I have lived in some pretty bad areas, and especially there I would not ever even hesitate. My door would be open, that baby would be in my house where I knew safety existed. A baby alone out on my doorstep in a bad area in the middle of the night? Nope, never, not if I had anything to do with it.
You said it, sister!!
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Old 05-31-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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That is a very noble thought. I agree on the principle. However would you endanger your children in your home that are sleeping by opening the door and potentailly letting in some pretty bad guys before you could call 911 to save another persons child? I guess that might be a topic for a spin/off.
yes, definately. it's worth the miniscule risk to be a decent person.

there are a million way more precarious situations to contemplate whether or not to act, possibly putting your children in harm's way, (confront an abusive stranger in public with kids in tow, for example...it would depend on a dozen different things, when making the choice to do THAT or not...) but honestly a baby on the porch is a no brainer to me.

i'd comfort the baby, give water, wrap in blanket, etc. and look up and down the street for signs of people looking for baby. if i couldn't figure out where baby came from then i'd call police. i wouldn't feed or change baby until i had permission from police though.
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