Silly engagement ring question... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So when you get an engagement ring, does it go on the right hand, and then get switched over to the left when you get married? Or does it just automatically go on the left hand?

My boyfriend and I have totally been arguing about this. And no, he's not proposing (at least I don't think. )

Is it different regionally or in different cultures? He is from Hawaii, and I grew up in a very traditional Irish/Italian family. One set of grands was from Ire, one was from Italy. So maybe the switching hands is a european thing?

Anyway, he says it goes on the left, I say you switch, and I think *I'm* right!!!
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#2 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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Most Americans wear their engagement ring on the left hand - same hand the wedding ring goes on. HOWEVER, since Orthodox Christians usually wear their wedding rings on the RIGHT hand (with engagement ring on top), they will sometimes put the engagement ring when engaged on right hand.

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#3 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:01 PM
 
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It is always wore on the left, traditionally here in the US anyway. During the ceremony some brides move it to the right to allow the band to be the first ring on the finger and then they it switched back and both are worn on the left.

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#4 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:03 PM
 
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I have always seen it worn on the left, and then on your wedding day you can wear it on your right just for the ceremony so you can put your wedding band on and never have to ever take it back off if you want to remove your engagement ring. During the wedding is the only time I have heard of wearing it on your right hand though.

Maybe it is a regional thing, I dunno.

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#5 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:03 PM
 
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well, it went on my left hand all 3 times I was engaged so here's hoping.
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#6 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:10 PM
 
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From wikipedia:
Quote:
In some European countries, the wedding ring is the same as the engagement ring and changes its status through engraving and the change of the hand on which to wear it.
This seems to imply that it would be worn on the right until the wedding, if you're only using one ring.

I wore it on my left, though.

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#7 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 07:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie View Post
I have always seen it worn on the left, and then on your wedding day you can wear it on your right just for the ceremony so you can put your wedding band on and never have to ever take it back off if you want to remove your engagement ring. During the wedding is the only time I have heard of wearing it on your right hand though.

Maybe it is a regional thing, I dunno.
Yeah, remember Princess Di did that during her wedding?

WHY do I remember that?

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#8 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 08:06 PM
 
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North Americans generally wear it on the left ring finger. Europeans generally wear it on the right ring finger.

There are many variations to this. You just have to do what works for you. Sounds trite, but it's true.
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#9 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 08:41 PM
 
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I've seen people here (US) do both. Personally, I would just do it on the left to keep from having to resize my ring with the transfer. (my right hand is bigger than the left).
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#10 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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I've always heard (and assumed) it was the left hand only. Generally you got a solitaire as the engagement and then a band for the wedding and then combined them to become the end result. Thats the route we went and the route everyone else I know went.

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#11 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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It goes on the left. On the wedding day it goes on the right. After he puts the wedding ring on it goes over that so the wedding ring is closest to your hand.

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#12 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by New_Natural_Mom View Post
It goes on the left. On the wedding day it goes on the right. After he puts the wedding ring on it goes over that so the wedding ring is closest to your hand.
So wait, I may be wearing my ring wrong. Holding my hand out in front of me (and lest you think I'm crazy flexible my fingers are pointing away from me ) and starting at the base of my finger it goes my engagement ring and then my wedding band. Should it be the other way? And what's the thought/etiquette about that?

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#13 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
So wait, I may be wearing my ring wrong. Holding my hand out in front of me (and lest you think I'm crazy flexible my fingers are pointing away from me ) and starting at the base of my finger it goes my engagement ring and then my wedding band. Should it be the other way? And what's the thought/etiquette about that?
Yes, it should be the other way. Wedding ring should be the closest to your heart, as another poster put it.

Frankly, the engagement ring on the "bottom" and wedding ring on the "top" always looked seriously weird to me.

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#14 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:47 PM
 
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I think cultural. In (albeit strictly rural Pennsylvanian) America, I've only ever seen left. In (albeit urban Mediterranean) Egypt, only right.
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#15 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
Yes, it should be the other way. Wedding ring should be the closest to your heart, as another poster put it.

Frankly, the engagement ring on the "bottom" and wedding ring on the "top" always looked seriously weird to me.
Funny, I turned it around after I posted and thought, "Man that is ugly!". Maybe it's my particular arrangment though.

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#16 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
Funny, I turned it around after I posted and thought, "Man that is ugly!". Maybe it's my particular arrangment though.
For years, my first thought upon seeing "your" arrangement was, "if her engagement ring is too big [the wedding ring is acting as a "guard" and keeping in on the finger], then why doesn't she get it sized?"

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#17 of 36 Old 06-27-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
For years, my first thought upon seeing "your" arrangement was, "if her engagement ring is too big [the wedding ring is acting as a "guard" and keeping in on the finger], then why doesn't she get it sized?"
No kidding!

Now I think it's ugly because my engagement ring has the main diamond whereas my band is smooth and flat (though it does have diamonds)...so it appears "off"...like stacking blocks from smallest to biggest in a tower as opposed to the "right" way of biggest to smallest.

Who knew rings were such a deep topic?

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#18 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 05:09 AM
 
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Claddaugh rings in Ireland are generally worn on the right hand unil marriage.

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#19 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 08:31 AM
 
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LOL! OtherMother, if you like it better with the engagement ring on top, keep the blessed thing on top.

I'm pretty minimalist when it comes to jewellery, and for months after my wedding it felt really weird to be wearing two rings on the same finger. I felt like a floozy covered in bling. I have since come to terms with my two modest, tiny rings... now if only I could stop forgetting them when I take them off to knead bread.

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#20 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
No kidding!

Now I think it's ugly because my engagement ring has the main diamond whereas my band is smooth and flat (though it does have diamonds)...so it appears "off"...like stacking blocks from smallest to biggest in a tower as opposed to the "right" way of biggest to smallest.
Yep, I agree with this! LOL. My engagement ring is the teensiest pinch too big, but I also have it on the bottom because it looks better that way (I think). My engagement ring is a princess cut in a cathedral setting, and my wedding ring is just a simple band, so the bulkiest one goes on the bottom, smaller one on top.

OP, I have never heard of engagement ring on the right hand, sorry!
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#21 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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Left hand.

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#22 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
Yes, it should be the other way. Wedding ring should be the closest to your heart, as another poster put it.

Frankly, the engagement ring on the "bottom" and wedding ring on the "top" always looked seriously weird to me.
I agree. I have a plain white gold wedding band and a white gold engagement ring with a small opal. I think it looks odd to have a band on top of a ring with a stone.

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#23 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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Well I don't know how you're "supposed" to do it, but I wore my on my left, got married, had a wrap soldered to it and kept it on my left.
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#24 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 3_opihi View Post
My boyfriend and I
OH?

Cool.
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#25 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 02:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep.

Ok, so maybe my family just has a weird tradition. I suppose, I will have to concede on this issue.
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#26 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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Left hand, but I've heard of some cultures who put the ring on the right hand and then don't get a second ring at the wedding, they just switch hands.

Also, in some places, men wear an engagement ring, which I think makes more sense than what we do. When I agreed to marry my Dh, I told him that not wearing a wedding ring would be a deal breaker for me. I didn't even think about the engagement ring that I wore, but that he didn't.
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#27 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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This seems like something so easy to settle between the two of you--just google it or look it up.

In the U.S. and many other parts of the world, it is traditional for the woman to wear her engagement ring on her left hand. On her wedding day she can switch it to her right, and then the wedding band goes on her left, closest to her heart. The engagement ring is then put on next.

It is more practical to have a left handed ring for most people (as most are righties) because if you have ever worn a diamond ring on your right hand and you are right handed--it can get in the way and annoy you.
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#28 of 36 Old 06-28-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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I smoldered my rings and they are both on my left hand.
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#29 of 36 Old 06-29-2008, 12:01 AM
 
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My mother wore both of her on her left hand. She had her engagement ring on first or bottom or closest to her hand because, as she explained, "first you're engaged, then you're married." Sounded logical to me.
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#30 of 36 Old 06-29-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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Ring finger on left hand for both engagement and wedding ring. The only person I knew who wore these rings on their right hand was from Greece so maybe it is a Euro "thing."

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