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#1 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've seen some fairly fierce conversations on here now. I'm starting to get a handle on the different personalities attached to the handles (see: I'm clever) but I may be making some ASSumptions I shouldn't make. So instead of continuing with my merry assumptions I'll ask straight out.

How do you feel about debates? Do you tend to take them personally or do you keep them impersonal and about ideas? When someone says, "People who do 'x' are 'y'" do you feel the need to stand up for 'y' if you are part of 'x'? And most importantly (for me) how do you feel about semantics?

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#2 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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This should be interesting.

I've noticed that debates have cultural overtones. That in some cultures you can have NOTHING in common and literally yell at each other over coffee, and then come back tomorrow. To yell at each other over date squares.

In other cultures, different thinking is the enemy. Anyone who thinks of social, political or religious issues in a different context than you is dangerous.

I'm more the first category.
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#3 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't want to give my answers in the OP.

I love debates. I think they are fun. Sometimes I take it personally but I strive to keep them impersonal and about ideas. I tend to get a bee in my bonnet about blanket statements because there are very few things that are Always true or Never true and that's a personal quirk. I am really apt to argue for a point if people make a blanket statement about people who are/do something and I qualify as one of them. I love semantics. I think that the definitions of words are very important. I think that it is important to follow basic rules of arguments and when I'm not sure how to argue a point I go get my rhetoric textbook and look it up.

I often sound more harsh than I mean to. I'm very rarely trying to be a snot even when it seems like I am. Usually when I am being snarky I will say so.

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#4 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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Everyone on this site is just some stranger on the internet so I don't care what they think of me. I don't really take things personally because the opinions don't matter IRL. I've noticed that people online tend to be far more outspoken and say things they'd never dare say to someone in person, probably because they'd get smacked upside the head
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#5 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:41 PM
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i like to engage ideas, and if the idea is liberal enough to have multiple interpretations, i'll assert what i feel/think/believe and that i also think that it's not necessarily the only way to think about things.

oh, and i tend not to take things too personally, and feel similarly about language, rhetoric, etc.
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#6 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:41 PM
 
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I don't really debate. I'm not a nonconfrontational person in real life, but I don't like Internet squabbling.
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#7 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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I enjoy debates. I often find myself sticking up for the underdog POV much of the time, sometimes even if I don't personally agree with it myself but I can understand it even if I don't agree, KWIM? Maybe because I was somewhat picked on at school as a kid, I tend to seek out unpopular sides on things and try to understand them or at least empathize.

I know it can come across as being contrary, but really, it's just my natural inclination to question widely-held views on things. I think that's why I gravitated to MDC with its philosophy of NFL and bucking the mainstream.

One thing I can always count on here is extremely intelligently expressed perspectives, and I always learn something.

ETA: I don't take things personally on the Internet.
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#8 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:46 PM
 
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I love a good debate. Most of the time I'll be happy to argue either side as well. I try not to get involved in them here because I know I come off really bad. I like to do it more in real life with people who know me. It's really hard to express exactly what you mean in writing. People will pick apart the smallest detail and jump all over you for it. I guess I'm just not good enough to stand up to some of the nitpickers here.

I only get upset when people make assumption about me or when it crosses the line into a personal attack. It's fine if you don't agree with me, but that doesn't make me a bad person/mother.

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#9 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:48 PM
 
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I don't understand this thread at all.
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#10 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kama'aina mama View Post
I don't understand this thread at all.
I tend to prefer to respect people's opinions/personalities. If I know someone really doesn't like to argue I will not engage with them. If I know someone really likes a fierce debate I will feel more comfortable busting out all the stops.

Really, it's entirely self-serving.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#11 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:51 PM
 
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I love debates. I try always to keep debates about ideas, not the debaters. I get very frustrated when debates turn into petty personal attacks thrown back and forth. Even if I think someone is a UAV for a given belief, I'd never say so. I'll tell you I disagree, and try to back it up, without any personal anything.

I was educated in the social sciences, so empirical evidence matters to me. I get frustrated when people in a debate want to use anecdotal evidence as, well, evidence. I'll reference a good study, and then somebody says, "Well, I know someone who did this other thing!" and I wonder why I bothered.

I'm a big fan of George Lakoff, and particularly his theories about metaphor. I think truth is grounded in experience and is not objective (or if objective truth DOES exist, we do not, as humans, have access to that truth).

And at any rate, it's online, and some people have trouble minding their manners in even the most mild conversations. One of the reason I like MDC so much: it's heavily moderated. I know that drives some people nuts, but it means I spend less time filtering out the personal attacks to get to the posts that are actually about something!

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#12 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nonconformnmom View Post
I enjoy debates. I often find myself sticking up for the underdog POV much of the time, sometimes even if I don't personally agree with it myself but I can understand it even if I don't agree, KWIM? Maybe because I was somewhat picked on at school as a kid, I tend to seek out unpopular sides on things and try to understand them or at least empathize.
Holy buckets, I agree with NCM about something. Now that is a first!!

I love debating, too. And have an uncanny ability to step into the underdog's shoes.
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#13 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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I don't debate. There's no need because I'm always right.








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#14 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by happyhippiemama View Post
Holy buckets, I agree with NCM about something. Now that is a first!!
I think it's very common for people to have different views on some issues, especially controversial ones like politics or religion, and still find plenty that they agree on in other areas of life. That's not so unusual.
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#15 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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I was being facetious...
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#16 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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I don't debate. There's no need because I'm always right.
Exactly. I don't see these threads as so much "debates" but more an opportunity to educate everyone else.

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#17 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
I don't debate. There's no need because I'm always right.







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#18 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kama'aina mama View Post
I was being facetious...
Uhm... hi! I'm Krissy! I'm slow!

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#19 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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I probably used to debate more when I was quite new to MDC. Now, on the whole, I cannot be bothered. I've found that internet debates tend to be motivated too much by ego, whether it be forums or chatrooms. Maybe I've just grown too cynical in my old age

Depends also what the topic is.


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#20 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:21 PM
 
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I was being facetious...
I was going to be facetious back, but after three tries I realized I couldn't possibly get it to look as funny as it would sound if I said it outloud.
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#21 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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I like debates IRL, with other people who are informed. People who aren't informed and are merely opinionated bug the heck out of me.

On MDC I find debates annoying as all get-out, usually because people take it personally, get distracted, harp on something that is entirely beside the point, and in general just make it no fun at all. There are a number of posters who bring up great information in an straightforward and respectful way, but then there's always somebody who didn't get their granola that morning and blows it all to heck!

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#22 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:49 PM
 
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I hate debating, but can't seem to help it. : I grew up in a house where you just argued your point, or the other person would assume they were right, and would rub it in.

I've worked hard on letting things go, and I'm much better than I used to be. Often, I just don't even bother, because I know that it's about how someone *feels* and my information won't be worth anything to them. For example, I'm not going to bother trying to change the mind of someone who "doesn't believe in the gay lifestyle" or "thinks abortion is always wrong." But if someone says "I need to turn my child's carseat around because his legs are too cramped" I'll offer information and get quite strident about trying to convince them of the value of extended RFing.

But really, I just wish the world would realize that (a) I'm always right and (b) they should just say "Oh, thank you for the information; you've completely changed my mind!" So there ya go. Don't debate me.
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#23 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
I don't debate. There's no need because I'm always right.







I agree

There are some current active threads right now on TOA .. I just stay away from as I have my opinion and nobody is going to change it ... and I would most definitely be in the minority on my opinion .. so I just keep it to myself and let everyone else debate..just not worth it to me .and I know I would get ganged up on .... and I would end up getting upset ... so I let it go.
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#24 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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I don't care for debates but I get sucked into them anyway. I tend to always see both (or all) sides of an argument and debating makes me feel all stressful inside because I see everyone's point and can't decide who is "right".

I also like for people to get along all the time. I guess this would explain why I'm in HR and have the role of mediator, lol!
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#25 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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But really, I just wish the world would realize that (a) I'm always right and (b) they should just say "Oh, thank you for the information; you've completely changed my mind!" So there ya go. Don't debate me.
Hey, me, too! Logic would dictate that we agree on absolutely everything. How amazing is that?

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#26 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:05 PM
 
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I love debates and often take the underdog position. I don't take disagreements personally unless they involve ad hominem criticisms of me or my family.
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#27 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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I enjoy a good debate. And I don't take things said during them personally, unless something is clearly a personal attack.
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#28 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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On MDC I find debates annoying as all get-out, usually because people take it personally, get distracted, harp on something that is entirely beside the point, and in general just make it no fun at all. There are a number of posters who bring up great information in an straightforward and respectful way, but then there's always somebody who didn't get their granola that morning and blows it all to heck!
Exactly. I also find that as I get older I am more inclined to see the gray areas more than when I was in my twenties and thought I was so *right* about everything and so determined to show everyone else how wrong they were.

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#29 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:13 PM
 
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I'm not such a fan of debate or arguing on a board this large. I think feelings get hurt and I get frustrated easily at the snark that gets handed out. There also seems to be some ganging up that goes on. I only know a few people irl from here so I don't often feel the need.

I think respectfully stating your opinion is good. Harping on it and trying to ram it down other's throats, not so much.
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#30 of 56 Old 07-29-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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How about if we all agree to disagree and be done with it?

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