Today I bought a pair of stiletto heels - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yup. I was shopping at Goodwill, and there they were, the perfect pair of FMHAFM shoes (the first F stands for "follow" but the second does not : Chinese Laundry, black leather with silver linings (I love silver), super-pointy toes and spike heels. $5.99, and in my size -- what're the chances?. So I bought 'em, natch. They are fantastic. They make me want to drink vodka gimlets and dirty martinis and use a cigarette holder (if I smoked) and say things like "Hey there sailor" and "Life's a banquet, but some poor sons of bitches are starving" and "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

Only problem?

I can't walk in them.

It's been 6 years since I wore heels on any kind of a regular basis, and now I know why. My feet have gotten used to the Crocs and the Danskos and the sneaks. I was tottering around like a noob drag queen. I was hoping to wear them out to my birthday celebration girls' night, but I'm not sure I can. Maybe if I stumble into the bar and sit down, and don't move all night.... hmmm...

On a related note, for those of you who read my Keen thread a few days ago, I talked DP into buying a pair of Keen Newports.
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#2 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 09:48 PM
 
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You might have to start wearing them around the house to get used to them before your party. Bet they'd look great with some fuzzy jammies.

+ (13 years together)= (9), (9), (2) and
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#3 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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I am still trying to figure out what FMHAFM stand for.

You'll get the hang of stillettos. I haven't worn a pair since I got pregnant but not only can I walk in them, I can carry a baby and RUN in them ... in the rain. I've done it! Practice makes prefect.
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#4 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by roomformore View Post
You might have to start wearing them around the house to get used to them before your party. Bet they'd look great with some fuzzy jammies.
I thought I could work up to it, maybe 10 minutes a day...

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I am still trying to figure out what FMHAFM stand for.
No wonder you haven't been able to get banned! I'll give you a hint: the first few words are "follow me home and..." --any more and I'd be violating the UA.

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You'll get the hang of stillettos. I haven't worn a pair since I got pregnant but not only can I walk in them, I can carry a baby and RUN in them ... in the rain. .
That is impressive! Sounds like a good story, too...
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#5 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:01 PM
 
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This thread is useless without pics!
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#6 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:04 PM
 
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I LOVE your description!!!

Wear them for a bit each day.

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

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#7 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:05 PM
 
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This thread is useless without pics!
I agree!

Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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#8 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This thread is useless without pics!
Imagine a middle-aged woman falling ass over teakettle, but with really hot shoes. There you go. There's your pic.

I'd take some happily, but both the camera and the computer where I can upload pics from said camera are in the room where DS and DP are sleeping. If I were to wake them up, I'd have to hang out with DP instead of drinking wine and hanging out with you all...see my dilemma?

Jessica, you could see them in person (and help me walk) if you were to roadtrip here for my birthday bash. August 15th. We'd love to have you! Stick the kids with Marc and come on out!
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#9 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:22 PM
 
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Imagine a middle-aged woman falling ass over teakettle, but with really hot shoes. There you go. There's your pic.

I'd take some happily, but both the camera and the computer where I can upload pics from said camera are in the room where DS and DP are sleeping. If I were to wake them up, I'd have to hang out with DP instead of drinking wine and hanging out with you all...see my dilemma?

Jessica, you could see them in person (and help me walk) if you were to roadtrip here for my birthday bash. August 15th. We'd love to have you! Stick the kids with Marc and come on out!
I would to! I'm not sure how Marc would feel about sending me off to meet unknown internet strangers, but if I can talk him into it you just might get to show me those sexy shoes!

And if she hasn't posted any pics by then I'll be sure to snag some and post them myself!

Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to Nikolai (10) and Nathaniel (9) and Olivia (3).
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#10 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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I am so LMAO.....the story sounds sooooo familiar....as if it just happened to me.....
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#11 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would to! I'm not sure how Marc would feel about sending me off to meet unknown internet strangers, but if I can talk him into it you just might get to show me those sexy shoes!
Tell him you have to help a little old lady of your acquaintance cross the street. It wouldn't be far off the truth! :
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#12 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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i love high heels ... only problem is i can't walk in them that great and i have no where to wear them. doesn't stop me from buying them anyway.

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#13 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:37 PM
 
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I bought a really sexy pair of high heels the other day and decided to walk around the mall in them.

I came home and cried as I peeled them off my feet. I had blisters the size of quarters.

I don't know if I could walk in stilettos but I can walk in regular heels pretty well. Unless I spaz at random and turn my ankle, then I fall down and feel like an idiot. That happened once. Or twice...
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#14 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i love high heels ... only problem is i can't walk in them that great and i have no where to wear them. doesn't stop me from buying them anyway.
Why don't you come to my birthday bash too, then, so you have an occasion to wear your highest heels! :
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#15 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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Practice practice practice!
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#16 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 11:15 PM
 
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Makes me want to throw a slumber party... girls only, you can arrive in your comfy shoes, but as soon as we start the party, you must have your fancy shoes on... no walking required.

My family: me jog.gif, dh geek.gif, ds reading.gif (11), dd1 hearts.gif (9), and dd2 energy.gif(3).

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#17 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 11:22 AM
 
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If you wear YOURS, I'll wear mine.
I LOVE KMOAFM shoes. (thanks to your Dave for that)

I call them my sit-and-look-pretty shoes. They are not made for walking! And hey I got them at the same Goodwill....didcha see all the Target leftovers?? It was a bonanza in there. Did you see the pretty shoes the gauzey bags? A wee small for my honkers.

Come to the birthday bash and you can meet me too!!! :
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#18 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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tottering around like a noob drag queen.


Man, if my dh wouldn't kill me for spending money, I'd so ddddc you.
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#19 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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You had me at noob drag queen.

I don't generally read threads about high heels, because I don't own a pair, would be risking life and limb to try and walk in them. But man, after that I am so glad I decided to see what this was all about.

:
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#20 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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#21 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 12:08 PM
 
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Here's what you do:

1. Put the shoes on.

2. Don't take them off.

Cook in them, clean in them, go to the bathroom in them, DTD in them (which I bet your husband would LOVE.) Where the shoes, own the shoes, BE the shoes. Soon it'll be hard to imagine life without them.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
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#22 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 05:04 PM
 
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I almost bought a pair of stilletos for myself for my birthay, but I punked out.

This thread is all that I needed for motivation... I am going to go and buy some this evening.
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#23 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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You don't have to actually wear them out of the house. Why not just wear them with a babydoll nightie put them on and hobble around the bedroom?

Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
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#24 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 05:27 PM
 
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OMG.....Transformed.....LMAO!

That video is too funny! You know what....that girl in the video is thin and has good balance since her weight is distributed evenly...lol! With a Plus size girl like me....wearing stiletto heels....sounds like I am a "jack hammer" on a construction sight....and believe wearing a hard hat too!

Thanks for posting this thread....I am really enjoying myself....first cry and then laugh....JK!
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#25 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 05:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4 View Post
I am still trying to figure out what FMHAFM stand for.

You'll get the hang of stillettos. I haven't worn a pair since I got pregnant but not only can I walk in them, I can carry a baby and RUN in them ... in the rain. I've done it! Practice makes prefect.
Seriously, no one else is going to help out here?

Follow Me Home And . . . .

(I'm usually the one trying desparately to figure these things out so I couldn't just pass by.)

Catherine
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#26 of 26 Old 08-03-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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Seriously, no one else is going to help out here?

Follow Me Home And . . . .

(I'm usually the one trying desparately to figure these things out so I couldn't just pass by.)

Catherine
I got it. I've never heard that one before. Too funny.
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