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#1 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 09:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...landlords and police.

I have no idea why. It's kinda irrational. Well, ok, the police part is kinda irrational. The landlord part is based in experience. My new landlord is coming in 50 minutes with the insurance guy to take pictures of the kitchen and furnice and I think I'm going to have an anxiety attack....
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#2 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 09:29 AM
 
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Just breath! Go outside and take a couple deep breaths of fresh air, and remember it's ok!!!

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#3 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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wth? he's still not here. Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick...
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#4 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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Landlords are like the high school principal of the adult world. I don't like dealing with mine either, she's too hard to read. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.
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#5 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 11:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, he did finally come. It was mostly painless, but he's lacking in the concept of personal boundries. He comments on EVERYTHING. The kids, the furniture, just our stuff. He also randomly looks in rooms. He's just really clueless.

I hate people that I didn't invite coming into my house.
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#6 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 11:22 AM
 
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Do you know your rights, with landlords? In our province they're restricted in what they can do. I always jot down the date and time when I have a questionable interaction with a landlord (even if they're rude). That info can be used if you, say, ever want to get out of your lease without the required amout of notice, or want to put pressure on to get something done around the apartment.

I'm also very nervous around cops. I grew up in a hippy community and was told over and over as a child to "Never Talk to the Cops." In fact I was instructed to be mistrustful of anyone in a uniform (or even a suit and tie.) If I was lost I was to ask a woman with children to help me find my Mom. I'm still shaken whenever I walk past a police officer on the sidewalk. It's like if I make eye contact with them they can hear what I'm thinking and they'll find some way to ruin my life. The silly thing is that in our current household we are really straight laced. I dont think there are any laws we regularily break at all! We dont even steal cable or have illegal music on our computer. It's such a contrast from how I grew up.
(and my in-laws are friends with a few cops. It's always a challenge for me.)
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#7 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've never been told not to trust the cops or anything like that. I'm just really nervous around them. I act very suspiciously when they're around, but I can't help it.

I do know my rights when it comes to landlords, but I suck at keeping records. And confrontation. Plus I always give people the benefit of the doubt that they don't mean anything by it And I suck at keeping records (and we homeschool! )
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#8 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 12:04 PM
 
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Cops scare me.

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#9 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 12:27 PM
 
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I'm really scared of cops too. I also really really really don't like guns and I'm always staring at their gun when I'm near a cop (I'm sure that looks great LOL). At the same time, when I'm watching the news and there's a story about a cop being killed in the line of duty, I cry sometimes. So it's not like I don't love what they do and the sacrifices they make, but they make me shake in my boots.

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#10 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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I have an irrational fear of cops too.
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#11 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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If I was lost I was to ask a woman with children to help me find my Mom.
But that's good sense regardless of how one feels about cops. It's a good thing to teach young children because it's easier for them to identify a motherly woman than to tell the difference between an actual police officer in uniform and anyone else in a similar uniform, such as a private security guard.
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#12 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 01:44 PM
 
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I have an irrational fear of cops too.
Me too, but that's because they have next to no accountability in the US. The easiest way to abuse people here is to do it in uniform. With that said I know that there are wonderful cops who take their jobs seriously and do them very well, and I'm more than grateful to have them around.

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#13 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 01:48 PM
 
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Police - But I have had bad experiences with them. My heart skips a beat when I see one when I'm driving. In my neighborhood, I make sure they know I LIVE here when they drive by when I'm out because I fear looking out of place.
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#14 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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I grew up in Mexico where cops were scary, scary people. One time one followed me and some friends when we were teens and made up some excuse to arrest us (we were sitting by the side of the road smoking cigarettes, he claimed he saw us smoking weed. We very definitely were not doing that).

He threatened to take us down to the station (which was not a good place for teenage girls to end up--very, very dangerous) and I refused to go without my dad. Turns out that's what the cop wanted. He happily followed me home knowing that my dad would pay him off to leave me alone. Thank the universe my dad was home that night--Mom was out of town and he had planned to go see a movie with friends. But then he got a headache and decided not to go. This was in the days before cell phones.

Anyway, I always had this romantic idea of American cops being so straight and narrow and you know, the friendly neighborhood community cop.

Until the days after 9/11 when two cops talked their way into our Brooklyn apartment and asked my husband all sorts of pointed questions (the only suspicious thing about him was that he is Arab. Some neighbors must have called us in on suspicions of being Arab.) They looked around, picked up all our framed photographs, and kept asking us if we knew this person or that person. I have never been so scared in my life.

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#15 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 02:00 PM
 
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I grew up in Mexico where cops were scary, scary people. One time one followed me and some friends when we were teens and made up some excuse to arrest us (we were sitting by the side of the road smoking cigarettes, he claimed he saw us smoking weed. We very definitely were not doing that).

He threatened to take us down to the station (which was not a good place for teenage girls to end up--very, very dangerous) and I refused to go without my dad. Turns out that's what the cop wanted. He happily followed me home knowing that my dad would pay him off to leave me alone. Thank the universe my dad was home that night--Mom was out of town and he had planned to go see a movie with friends. But then he got a headache and decided not to go. This was in the days before cell phones.

Anyway, I always had this romantic idea of American cops being so straight and narrow and you know, the friendly neighborhood community cop.

Until the days after 9/11 when two cops talked their way into our Brooklyn apartment and asked my husband all sorts of pointed questions (the only suspicious thing about him was that he is Arab. Some neighbors must have called us in on suspicions of being Arab.) They looked around, picked up all our framed photographs, and kept asking us if we knew this person or that person. I have never been so scared in my life.

Laura wife to Chris proud mommy to our lil monkey (c-section 6-10-06), our other lil monkey (HBAC 3-08-09) Our next and last son (due by HBAC mid July 2011) and our angel (10-03-04). My middle son has many severe food allergies.

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#16 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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I.

Anyway, I always had this romantic idea of American cops being so straight and narrow and you know, the friendly neighborhood community cop.

Until the days after 9/11 when two cops talked their way into our Brooklyn apartment and asked my husband all sorts of pointed questions (the only suspicious thing about him was that he is Arab. Some neighbors must have called us in on suspicions of being Arab.) They looked around, picked up all our framed photographs, and kept asking us if we knew this person or that person. I have never been so scared in my life.

I am so so sorry that happend to you.

Erika, wife to Eric, Mom to Son's, Mathias, Colin and Bonus Baby Girl Salem ::
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#17 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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I grew up in Mexico where cops were scary, scary people. One time one followed me and some friends when we were teens and made up some excuse to arrest us (we were sitting by the side of the road smoking cigarettes, he claimed he saw us smoking weed. We very definitely were not doing that).

He threatened to take us down to the station (which was not a good place for teenage girls to end up--very, very dangerous) and I refused to go without my dad. Turns out that's what the cop wanted. He happily followed me home knowing that my dad would pay him off to leave me alone. Thank the universe my dad was home that night--Mom was out of town and he had planned to go see a movie with friends. But then he got a headache and decided not to go. This was in the days before cell phones.

Anyway, I always had this romantic idea of American cops being so straight and narrow and you know, the friendly neighborhood community cop.

Until the days after 9/11 when two cops talked their way into our Brooklyn apartment and asked my husband all sorts of pointed questions (the only suspicious thing about him was that he is Arab. Some neighbors must have called us in on suspicions of being Arab.) They looked around, picked up all our framed photographs, and kept asking us if we knew this person or that person. I have never been so scared in my life.
Oh my god. Makes me wonder why anyone who isn't white would want to live in the US/Canada. Land of the free my a$$.

I am so sorry that happened to you
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#18 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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nak

one time my dad waved to a cop as he drove by, just bein friendly and all. he got pulled over and cited for no seatbelt.

so dont wave at cops, unless you are obeying all laws

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#19 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 07:27 PM
 
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I'm scared of anyone in a position of authority apparently. Doctors, dentists, police, landlords, professors.. even our vet makes me nervous and he's a cool guy!
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#20 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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I have an irrational fear of spiral staircases and pelicans. *shudder*
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#21 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 09:08 PM
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I am scared of cops too, and I live with one. If I see one behind me while I am driving, I get really nervous, sometimes I will turn and I don't even need to.
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#22 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I usually turn onto a side street or into a parking lot when I see one behind me. If that doesn't look suspicious, I don't know what does. I just can't drive with one behind me. I'm so busy looking in my rearview I swerve all over the place.
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#23 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 10:12 PM
 
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the dark.

Casey, wife to Danny, mom to Olive : and Darcy : .
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#24 of 38 Old 08-19-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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I've always had an irrational fear of police. I don't know why. Now, I work in a daycare... right next to the police station... and live across the street... from that same police station. I must look really suspicious whenever one walks by, because I'm always trying to look extra innocent.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#25 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 01:24 AM
 
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I usually turn onto a side street or into a parking lot when I see one behind me. If that doesn't look suspicious, I don't know what does. I just can't drive with one behind me. I'm so busy looking in my rearview I swerve all over the place.
I do this too! It just makes me too nervous to have one behind me. I feel like they are scrutinizing every little thing I do and just looking for a reason to pull me over. I think that stems from this one time I was pulled over and the reason given was "the light above my license plate was out". Um, I didn't even know I had a light there....ya I know I'm a space brain......so I didn't even know it was out. However, the cop just seemed to be looking for something else, and when I told him I lived in the apartments next door, he looked like he totally didn't believe me and asked in a suspecting voice "really, what building?" and seemed kind of surprised when I answered right away without wavering. We live in an affluent area (I am not-just the area) and my car is a little older with some dents in it, and I can't help wondering if he just pulled me over because he thought I looked out of place.

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#26 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 01:31 AM
 
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I hate landlords - we've never had a good one, and we've been in several rentals. I love owning, even though it's a big jump and a lot more work. They all scared me.

I'm also scared of cops generally, for absolutely no good reason. Although, after I got rear ended a few months ago the cop didn't cite me for not having proof of insurance.

Spiders, too. Especially ones that can run fast.

Traveling alone...
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#27 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 03:00 AM
 
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Im not scared of cops but Im loosing respect for them when I hear stories of them abusing their power. I know they have a hard job but nobody asked them to do that job.

I think when they are the worst is when they are going through burn-out or have seen too much ugliness. When they cant seem to discriminate between a normal person and a person that is pure trouble.

Maybe it's the system working them too hard and maybe they need more breaks but there is nothing so bad that shakes folks up as the police abusing their power.
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#28 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 03:02 AM
 
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Add me to the fear/mistrust of cops. I consider it totally rational, though! When I was a kid, my city had some sort of police strike - and cops were pulling over women and raping them in their cars. I'm sure it only happened a few times, and wasn't at all the chaos I picture, but it really stuck with me. The schools used to teach never to ask a cop for help, and to go home and tell our parents the same thing (you know, in the same way that schools used to tell kids to go home and ask their parents to stop smoking!).

But I do get nervous around anyone with authority - I routinely tune out my supervisor when she speaks to me, because I get all nervous. Then I have no idea what she told me to do! It's ridiculous, but....well, I'm working on it
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#29 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 03:10 AM
 
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I have cop anxiety, too. It has to do partly with the abuse of the uniform that is rampant, and partly because I just know they are going to see my expired inspection sticker. I just don't have the $ to get my cracked window replaced right now, and no one will "pass" me with that big crack in it.

Really, though, I have had bad experiences with cops. Intimidation and the like. My DH and I were kicked out of a football game on our 2nd date because we kissed. Not made out, just lightly kissed. I was really angry but also irrationally scared and left the stadium, even though he had no reason to evict us at all.

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#30 of 38 Old 08-20-2008, 03:59 AM
 
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Wow, I'm slightly surprised by people's fears of cops.
My experience is totally different, my father was a cop for 23 years, so I grew up being able to easily see cops as individuals, not just as police.

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