am i not invited? i'm really upset - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-19-2008, 02:21 PM
 
kennedy444's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is extremely rude to invite dp and not you --- especially since you've been invited to all the showers. It is just SO WRONG!

Listen to this -- my friend's niece was getting married. My friend's kids were in the wedding (boy and girl, ages 9 and 11). After the wedding rehearsal there was the rehearsal dinner. The kids were invited to the dinner BUT NOT THE PARENTS!!! Yeah, normally an aunt and uncle might not be included to the rehearsal dinner but their kids are in the wedding and they got the invite in the mail. People do the craziest things!!!

Kim , mom to Amanda (16):, William (13), and Annie (5)
kennedy444 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-19-2008, 03:19 PM
 
kangaroomum25's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
it was the bride who addressed the invitation.
i asked dp to call and find out if i am expected.
he did call but didnt ask. he just told his mom to tell his sister that "we will both be there friday night."
so i guess we will.
Sounds like a great dp Go and have fun!
kangaroomum25 is offline  
Old 10-19-2008, 03:42 PM
 
LisainCalifornia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am really glad you got it worked out. I honestly think it was just a mistake, and you are making a mountain out of a molehill. (coming from a real mountain-maker here!). Although we tend to think that situations are focused on "us"--often there is no thought process like that. People are focused on their own stuff (especially a just to be married bride) to worry about "us". Contrary to popular belief, it really is not all about you!
LisainCalifornia is offline  
Old 10-19-2008, 03:53 PM
 
mommy68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
The invitation arrived today and it is addressed to dp. My name is NOWHERE on it. The wedding invite was addressed to dp, me, ds, and "baby." So it definitely seems like i am not invited to this party!
You just contradicted yourself. You said you weren't invited but yet you were invited.

I'm sure they meant to include you. I'd call them and ask them flat out (if it were me). It wouldn't bother me in the least bit to do that.

__________________________________
46-year-old single (divorced), self-employed working, home schooling, part-time college student mommy to:

19 yr old
12 yr old
5 yr old
mommy68 is offline  
Old 10-19-2008, 04:06 PM
 
TCMoulton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 4,080
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 37 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
You just contradicted yourself. You said you weren't invited but yet you were invited.
The wedding invitation was addressed including the OP, it is the rehearsal dinner invitation that did not include the OP's name nor the names of her children
TCMoulton is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 01:53 AM
 
kangaroomum25's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 864
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How was it?
kangaroomum25 is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
ms.shell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
it was fine. yes, i was supposed to be there and was. it was at an italian restaraunt, in the courtyard outdoors. we didnt stay very long and were home by 9...which was just great with both of us, as we had an overnight babysitter and enjoyed some alone time together last night

now i have a new problem, in that the beautiful long black dress i bought last week to wear to the wedding tonight now barely fits! I thought I had room to grow, but apparently i grew A LOT this last week! I got it zipped up, and I have to wear it, but it sure is tight! dont think im gonna be able to eat ( or take deep breaths) at the reception, lol.

Mama to 3 boys 

ms.shell is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 02:43 PM
 
MomToKandE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Did you try spanx?

Mom to (5) (9)
MomToKandE is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 03:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
ms.shell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
no. thanks- i hadnt heard of that, but just googled. good idea; i have time to get to the mall and see if some dept store sells this or something similar- which might help alot. so thanks again for the good idea!

Mama to 3 boys 

ms.shell is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 06:06 PM
 
Ironica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've seen them at motherhood/mimi maternity, and the non-preggo versions at torrid.
Ironica is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 07:31 PM
 
Einley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 496
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
maybe ya'll can help me calm down before i show my butt when dp gets home.
I have been crying and am really upset and am in danger of really showing my behind when dp gets home.
I'm glad it worked out and that you had a nice evening. I just had to post because I have never in my life heard this expression quoted above! I have no clue what it means, but it sure does sound funny!
Einley is offline  
Old 10-25-2008, 09:21 PM
 
TinkerBelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
Hmm in every wedding I've been to, the rehearsal has just been for those who are actually in the wedding.

Strange. Every wedding I have been a part of, the spouse of the bridesmaid/groomsman, and parents of the flower girl/ring bearer, are invited to the rehearsal dinner.

Guess it is a regional thing, or a family thing.
TinkerBelle is offline  
Old 10-26-2008, 10:48 PM
 
hollytheteacher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,860
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oops ... i should have kept reading b4 posting :

me, dh and 2 boys = our family (oh and a cat...who is also a male...lol)
hollytheteacher is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 08:04 AM
 
Verity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: talking to myself in public
Posts: 3,784
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Einley View Post
I just had to post because I have never in my life heard this expression quoted above! I have no clue what it means, but it sure does sound funny!
It means the same thing as this smilie. Of course, I've always heard it as "showing your a&$," but maybe the op was trying to be more polite.
Verity is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 01:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
ms.shell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LOL.
My mama always said it as another way of saying "pitch a fit"....you know, act ugly.

Mama to 3 boys 

ms.shell is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 02:15 PM
 
turtlewomyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,251
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is possible that you are not invited. This past May we went to a wedding and the groom's family did not invite spouses or parents (of the flower girl) to the rehearsal dinner. They didn't want to pay for extra dinners. I don't think that is considered "proper" however.

They could have also messed up the invitations though.
turtlewomyn is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 06:37 PM
 
Einley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 496
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
LOL.
My mama always said it as another way of saying "pitch a fit"....you know, act ugly.
Okay, pitch a fit I understand! But I do like this new (to me) saying of showing your behind!
Einley is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 07:27 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.shell View Post
it was fine. yes, i was supposed to be there and was. it was at an italian restaraunt, in the courtyard outdoors. we didnt stay very long and were home by 9...which was just great with both of us, as we had an overnight babysitter and enjoyed some alone time together last night

now i have a new problem, in that the beautiful long black dress i bought last week to wear to the wedding tonight now barely fits! I thought I had room to grow, but apparently i grew A LOT this last week! I got it zipped up, and I have to wear it, but it sure is tight! dont think im gonna be able to eat ( or take deep breaths) at the reception, lol.
So, did the dress fit?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
Ruthla is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 07:50 PM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verity View Post
I wasn't invited to my husband's sister's rehearsal dinner, but he was left out, too. All we heard was something about the rehearsal dinner being "for the wedding party and out-of-town guests." WTH? It was ok to exclude the bride's brother and his wife just because we happened to live in the same city where the wedding was taking place? : It didn't bother him, but it sure as heck bothered me. My husband was not in the wedding party, but it just seems rude not to invite the bride's siblings and their partners.

In your case, I think it's even more rude because your dp IS in the wedding party. There's an even bigger "WTH?" here!!!
But you were not in the wedding party so thus the reason not included. I dont necesirlally agree with that, but if they were working on a budget or thought maybe you didnt need to come to yet another wedding event, I could see why. I guess I love when I am not included in things because that is one less thing I have to do!


OTH,
FWIW, my ILs throw a great rehearsal dinner. I guess with 6 boys, they know how to do it! But since they have 9 children total plus spouses, children etc, they invite everyone to the dinner but its at their house. So along w their family, out of town guests from both sides, they also have the wedding party. With all those people, whats 12 or so more? Not a big deal because its at their house but if it was at a restuarant, it could be really pricey.
My brother's rehearsal dinner that my folks paid for 15 plus years ago for 40 people was about 6K. My parents were not on a budget or on a fixed income so it was not an issue. I do know the Mother of the bride was miffed that their best friends were not invited. My parents best friends were invited but he was a reader in the wedding. My parents said to invite them, but my brother and SIL said no. Whatever. My parents left it at that. Remember, they went off the list that my brother and SIL gave them.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:15 PM
 
Verity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: talking to myself in public
Posts: 3,784
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amys1st View Post
But you were not in the wedding party so thus the reason not included. I dont necesirlally agree with that, but if they were working on a budget or thought maybe you didnt need to come to yet another wedding event, I could see why.
These people had plenty of money, so that wasn't the issue. The other problem was that my husband also was excluded. No, he wasn't in the wedding party, but the bride was his sister. I've never heard of not inviting the bride's immediate family to a rehearsal dinner.

The other thing that rubbed me the wrong way was that my husband's brother and his girlfriend were invited to the rehearsal dinner because they were "out of town guests." WTH? We didn't rate an invitation just because we happened to live in the city where the wedding was taking place?

I guess I could chalk it up to my SIL's husband's family being socially inept, but I swear, I still think about it every time I see my SIL.
Verity is offline  
Old 10-28-2008, 10:17 AM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess in that situation when everyone else is invited like your other BILs etc I would also wonder why you and DH were not invited.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off